What wagon?

Hey friends, How are you? The weather has been LOVELY here (Wow, I wrote this part EARLY last week) and it just makes me happy.

You know when someone is trying to stop a bad habit, like eating, or smoking, or um... shopping and when they have a bad day (or four) they say well, I've "fallen off the wagon" or do they say they're "back on the wagon"? I can never remember...

Anyway, just wanted to confess that I've been shopping just a *bit*. Yes, of course I know all about my "NO SHOPPING CHALLENGE". Let's just say I'm doing better than I used to. Does that count? I'm planning to, I think it is, "get back on the wagon" TODAY. I just feel like I need to confess...

I'll list my stuff later... I've been busy with Pampered Chef and it has been SO fun. I really like running a business and choosing my own hours and seeing people excited about the products and well, a little extra money is always nice, right? I think I'm giddy from a bit of spare change in my pocket...

Okay.... I'm finishing this post in two days...

I'm back. Today, I woke up with a bit of a cold/allergies... I'm trying to clean my house, but it just feels so much nicer to sit down.

Okay, here I am confessing.... I'm going to add all of these "confessions" to my list as well.

On Gabe's birthday (has it been THAT long since I blogged? about shopping? probably.) I just HAD to find a green scarf to go with the skirt I was wearing that day before we went out to dinner. And now, I'm having serious buyer's remorse about it. It just wasn't what I was looking for, but it was only $4. I can move on.

Remember how I said I was going to give myself permission to buy a new white shirt? Well, I did. So that's "okay". It was on sale for $15 and I really like it. I liked it so much, I bought another one just like it, only turquoise..... oops. Another $15. I'll spare you the pictures, because, well, there was this gray sweater thingy I found on clearance that just goes so well with BOTH of them. It was only $12. I "NEEDED" a few things to update my wardrobe, okay?

And then, last week, I went to the thrift store looking for a bike for Zoe. She's all legs right now and her old one is just bruising her knees every time she pedals.  So, I found a great bike for $30 (I'm not confessing this nor counting it as part of my "NO SHOPPING" -- this is okay shopping, but I'm just telling you why I was at the thrift store in the first place.) So my first mistake was "just looking" at the shoes...

And this is what I came home with: ($4 each!) You should have seen the purse I put back... the clerk thought I was nuts... I'm mumbling to myself, "okay, you can't get everything... put the purse back, good girl... ohhhh." I have enjoyed the shoes SO much... is it sad or wrong just how much a new pair of shoes can make you so happy? No, I don't think it is either.

Okay, and then my dear friend, Tawnya, gave me THE most adorable skirts... she is so good to me. And well, one of them is this lovely tangerine color and I just happened to be in Seagull Book looking at scriptures for Kaia's upcoming baptism and I found this scarf:  Let me just say it was only $5, people!! They have LOTS of different colors.... you should go get one (or two).

 It's kind of a swirly Creamsicle color with embroidered flowers...

Okay, maybe it doesn't really go with this shirt, but I was trying to hurry with the picture. By the way, the other day, I asked Zeke, "Do you honestly think I dress frumpy? I just don't know sometimes." Being the good and wise husband he is, he said, "No, not frumpy, maybe wacky, but I like it." Wacky is good.

I love the fringe at the bottom (see my skirt!!)

 And then, last month, I ordered a really cute custom sign from my good friend, Sharon. I love the saying. I'm going to chalk this one up into the "self-help/therapy" category. It's hanging in my living room and I truly love reading it every time I walk by.

and well, I just HAD to get this cute little bird to go with it...

I think I spent $20 for both. Her shop is called "Paisley Cinnamon" on Etsy -- you will LOVE it!

Okay, so if my math is right.... I think that's $83... what the!!!!!!!!! YIKES. That looks really bad all totaled up like that. Mind you, this has been over the last two months. You know, I kinda hope Zeke doesn't read this post... when I fall off the wagon, I really fall and hit the ground HARD (with my head, I think). But after the shoe spree, I promised myself I would get back on the wagon and stay there. Oh man,  other than the green scarf, I enjoyed every $79 I spent. Okay, carry on.

P.S. I just wanted to share a WONDERFUL blog post written by my dear friend, Lora. I think this is an important one to read. There are so many couples out there struggling with infertility. Past and present and beyond. Lora is truly amazing... go check out her blog, you will love it!

Chopped liver is getting a new necklace today, so there!

I wish I could blog about what I truly feel. I just can't. I guess I could, but I don't want to cause even more trouble. That's a bummer about having a public blog. I read other blogs and wonder what's really going on in their lives. Can it be that perfect and happy? Yeah, me neither. But if you've read "The Help" you'll understand what I mean when I say there's a few people I'd just LOVE to give one of Minny's chocolate pies to right about now!

You know, I can handle when Zeke goes out of town for work. I can do everything without him even though I miss him. What I can't handle is my children. They are just OFF when he is away. I know that we are a close family and all, but sheesh... I just wish I could take them to a kennel or something while he's gone. Okay, I was going to edit that, but I'm trying to be real here. Those of you that judge me; well, you are NOT me, and my children are not YOUR children. I'm not a good Mom; sometimes I'm kinda selfish and I'm usually pretty tired AND I don't put up with anything. So I know they love me, but well, I make them clean their rooms!! Oh, the horror!

This was a very unexpected trip. Zeke called me from work on Friday about 1pm to say he has to go to New Jersey to help get ready for a demo (his company builds automated parking systems, by the way) AND he was leaving for the airport at 2pm. ONE HOUR. Um, okay? What do I say?

He came home and I helped him throw his suitcase together. He won't be back until Wednesday. As soon as he left, Beck started crying. He was gone before the kids got home from school. Friday's are fun, we usually watch a movie together and just feel relaxed with no homework and a big breakfast on Saturday. (especially after the insane weekend we had last weekend). I told them Dad had to go out of town... and the girls started crying while Gabe went downstairs in his room without saying anything. What can I do? I'm glad they love him so much, but I can't do anything to make it better. We're all just kinda bummed out, but hey, isn't it great we love Zeke so much? It could be worse. Zeke is a wonderful father and husband and life just isn't the same when he's not here. But do they have to cry all night about it?

They get really frustrated because I'm the one to make them go to bed, do their homework, set the table, do the dishes, take a bath, take out the trash, be nice to each other, etc. And I'm always the one to say NO. By the end of the day, I am exhausted, physically and emotionally. I need a break. They are sick of me and well, the feeling is mutual. Have I mentioned that Beck isn't napping anymore? They cry and whine, "I wish Daddy was here, he's more fun; I wish Daddy was here, he would let us stay up late; I wish Daddy was here, I like his hugs..." You know I'm trying to be a Mom here and do the best I can, but I think I get a bit jealous. Dad is the BEST, he's not here all the time, he's a novelty... and I feel like chopped liver.

Friday night was okay, the kids had friends over and that was a good distraction. But after the friends went home, I got the kids ready for bed and it really hit them Dad wasn't here. The girls were crying again, "We miss Daddy, we can't go to sleep without Daddy tucking us in.." He's traveled for work quite a bit before, but not very much in the last year or so. I guess we're out of practice.

With lovely early morning phone calls from irrational neighbors (kill me now!), Beck burning his hand on my flat iron, Gabe accidentally breaking the pull cord thingy on the lawn mower, and me getting really sick from my apparent aversion to grease? while we were at Willow Park (yeah, NOT fun); Saturday was a bit exhausting to say the least. I spent most of Saturday afternoon cuddling with my children and laying around reading "The Help". One thing I will say, my kids are really patient and sweet when Mom is sick.

Saturday night, our ward had a pillow movie at the church. We watched the Joseph Smith movie that they show at the Legacy theater in Salt Lake. It was INCREDIBLE. What an amazing man. I am in awe of his faith and courage. I cried through most of it and felt terrible for complaining about my own little minor annoyances I deal with. Maybe I needed a harsh reality check.

I did find a really cute shirt and pair of earrings to go with a skirt I found at the D.I. (thrift store) last week, but now it needs a necklace!
So my quest for today, is to go find one. I think I deserve it!

By the way, I paid $3.87 total for the earrings and shirt at Kohl's.
Now THAT feels good.
Oh, and can I just say how much I love my Mom, my friends, Lora and Jessica, and my blog friend, Claire. They make me smile! :)