Are we there yet????

The other day we went to visit some of our family.  They live less than one hour from us. We had a really great visit. However, my children turn into psychotic monsters when they're all trapped in a car together. I just wanted to share with you some of the dialogue from our ride home for posterity's sake; I mean, we actually survived this! I didn't use my children's real names in order to protect MYSELF from their wrath. (They are most definitely not innocent!) However, I'm pretty sure you might know who's who...

Kid 1: "Just get us home, I want to go home now!"

Kid 2: "Can we turn the radio off? I have a headache."

Kid 3: "Be quiet! I have a headache too!"

Kid 1: "BE QUIET!"

Kid 4: Blah blah, random singing REALLY LOUD singing...

Kids 1, 2, 3: "SHUT UP!!!"

Mom: "Please don't say "shut up" guys. Kid 4, please use an inside voice. " (Turns radio speakers to the front) "Sorry, Kid 2, is that ok?"

Kid 2: "Yeah, it's fine, it's just Kids 1, 3, and 4 mostly. I just want to go home. I'm tired."

Kid 3: "Kid 4 stop grabbing my pillow, Kid 4, MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP, Kid 3!!!!!!!!!"

Kid 4: Blah, blah, chatter chatter, random singing REALLY LOUD!!

Kids 1, 2, 3: "SHUT UP, Kid 4!!!!!"

Dad: "That is enough, Kid 4!! Be quiet all of you!!!" (Turns radio up louder.)

Kid 3: "MOM!!!!!! Kid 4 keeps hitting me!!!!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP!!!! Oh my gosh, just shut up! Can't we go any faster? I hate driving in the car with you guys!"

Kid 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!! Kid 3 took my pillow!"

Dad: "Why did you bring a pillow? Did you know they brought pillows?"

Mom: "Yeah... they said they were tired. I gave in. Kid 4, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"

Kids 3, 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He/She keeps touching me!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP! This is ridiculous!" (Random sounds of a scuffle with Kid 4. Elbows flying. Grunting.)

Kids 2 and 3: "Shut up, Kid 1, we have a headache!!!!!"

Kid 4: blah blah blah, random chatter, poking Kid 1 with paper Burger King crown, laughing REALLY LOUD, singing! Poke, poke, poke....

Kid 1: "Kid 4, KNOCK IT OFF!!! If you don't stop it, I'm going to take your crown!"

Mom: "Kid 1, That's enough. Leave Kid 4 alone. Kid 4, That's enough, Leave Kid 1 alone." (Turns radio up louder. Sighs at Dad. Dad rolls eyes.)

Kid 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Loud screaming and crying and random paper ripping sounds.) "Kid 1 took my crown!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He ripped it up!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Extremely loud screaming and crying. Fists flying from Kids 1, 3, 4. Mom turns around to check for blood. No blood. Turns up radio.)

Kids 2, 3: "Thanks a lot, Kid 1! Kid 4, just BE QUIET PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dad: "Now you've done it, Kid 1!"

Kid 1: "Make Kid 4 SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Kid 4, not ME!"

Dad: "You made KID 4 cry.... thanks a lot, KID 1, now we all have to hear it!!" (Kid 1 becomes strangely silent.)

Kid 2: "I have a headache. I feel car sick."

Kid 3: "Me too. MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kid 4 is on my side of the seat!"

(Kid 4 still wailing LOUDLY.)

Mom: "No more talking from anyone! Kid 4 and Kid 1 you have extra chores when we get home."

Kid 2: "How much longer?"

Kid 3: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dad: "I have a headache."

Mom: "Me too."

It's a wonder why we don't travel more, isn't it?

Feelin' the LOVE

Still blogging on fumes here... I get seasick from the waves in my computer screen.

Quick update: Beck's dentist appointment went really well this morning... he's doing great. Thanks for your prayers. :) The Spirit really helped me to be calm. Beck wasn't afraid at all and he did really well with the anesthesia.

Okay, so I just had to tell you about the best parenting moment I've had with Gabe in a LONG time. Nothing pre-planned or fancy or forced. It was just an opportunity to spend a little one-on-one time together. There's a million things to do everyday, but I will be forever grateful that I chose to sit down and just BE with my son.

After school on Tuesday, Gabe and I cuddled up in the recliner and watched "River Monsters" together. The host is so funny! He is a true biologist -- VERY passionate about what he does. Gabe and I had fun trying to imitate his accent and add to the show (think Mystery Science Theater 3000). We were laughing so hard we were crying. Gabe leaned over and said, "Mom, I love you, you're so cool to hang out with." How many 13 year old boys say that to their Mom? I don't think I will EVER forget that. Ever.

What a week!

Okay, I feel like I just finished a big race and I'm bent over heaving in gulps of air and pouring water over my head... I think this week has finally calmed down. (famous last words...)

The toilet is Noira's new fascination. Oh no! She has become quite a crazy little thing. My squirt bottle is always waiting on the counter.
I love her to pieces, but she's been naughty!

I'm still worn out and I can't think today...blah blah blah... I'm tired.

Tuesday night was CRAZY!!! My Dad called around 5:15 to tell me they took my Mom in an ambulance to Provo. Then, of course, 3 people instantly stopped by my house for whatever reason (2 unexpectedly) and I was a total brain dead mess. Sorry, Colleen. Somehow, I helped Kaia finish her Science Fair project and somehow I fixed dinner. It was a long night.

Basically, my Mom was in the hospital for a few days down in Provo and it scared the HECK out of me. But she's fine now. They thought it was a heart problem, turns out it was severe heartburn. (It's okay, Mom, better safe than sorry! I want you around for a LONG time!) I spent a LOT of time on the phone and MORE time praying. We have been truly blessed.

Oh, and Kaia lost another tooth.
The tooth fairy even stopped by in the midst of all the chaos.

We all felt a little sick off and on this week. Nothing big, just headaches and a general "blah" feeling, but it just added to the stress of everything and on Monday, I had to cancel dessert night with friends :(

The Science Fair was on Wednesday. Zeke had training in SLC Wednesday night. So it was me and the kids. Always a little crazy, but can I just say how much I love the Elementary School my kids go to? They really ROCK! I am amazed at the participation certificates and awards they give out to every student that does a science fair project every year. 100's of them. Cute little treat bags with candy and plastic test tubes and latex gloves and bubble wrap and those little capsules that turn into creatures when you put them in water, you know, science stuff! It really was above and beyond awesome! THANKS!
I saw Gabe's Algebra teacher at the Science Fair. His son is in Kaia's class. We talked about Gabe for awhile. He's been a great help to us. Gabe is really struggling right now. He loves school, the SOCIAL part of school anyway. And wait, he loves Utah Studies and Gym and Ceramics, but after missing a few days this month he's gotten behind in some of his classes. In middle school, this is NOT good. It's been hard for him to catch up = he's been really REALLY grumpy. Oh man, I'm sure I'll survive this parenting thing, but some days I really wonder. We've taken away every "privilege" other than food, clothing, and shelter until he's caught up. Tough love. It's worth it. I know it!

Kaia's birthday is coming up on the 11th of April and she really wants a keyboard. She has decided that our family is going to start a band. Beck and Gabe will play the guitars, Zoe will be the lead singer, and she will play the keyboard. I'm not sure how her siblings feel about this (or if they even know), but she really wants a keyboard anyway. I have been researching online for a few weeks trying to find a good one.

There are hundreds of different keyboards out there. Every price range and option imaginable. How could I choose? There were good and bad reviews on all of them. I had it narrowed down to 10 (yeah, "narrowed down", right?) I was looking at them yesterday while the kids were doing homework. Kaia leaned over my shoulder and said, "Mom!! Is that a purple keyboard?! I want that one!" Wow, I should have asked Kaia weeks ago. What the heck, we'll give it a try. Who cares what it does, it's purple!! Enough said. :) I love how kids think.

Oh, and my sweet husband brought me the family some fresh Asiago cheese and garlic bread last night from a vendor that comes to their work. I ate way too much. It was so YUMMY! In case you locals were wondering, it's called "The Grainery Artisan Bakery" in Newton.

I'm really looking forward to conference this weekend. I'm so thankful my Mom is okay.

In case you were wondering...

Why I love my children:

They just have so much fun!
We found some stray pipe cleaners in the art cupboard.

I really enjoy cooking:
I made Butter Chicken and Garlic Naan on Saturday... it was awesome! My friend, Jessica, gave me the recipes: seriously, if you've never tried Indian food before, you should. I didn't think I would like it, but I LOVE it. If you want the recipes, let me know. Jessica is so awesome! I was having trouble finding an ingredient and she brought some to my house. FYI, "garam masala" is a spice blend and your grocer probably has it, even if they tell you they don't!

Moments when I don't enjoy being a mother:
My dear son, Gabe, thought it would be funny to get on my Facebook account and post a status as me: "My son wants a phone. Do you think I should get him one?" So by the time I checked my FB later that night, there were 18 public comments and 2 private ones... either cheering me on, "of course, why not?" or condemning me for even considering it!

Basically, I was really TICKED OFF!! (Think of Jack Black on "School of Rock") And I guess it wasn't that big of deal... other than it really embarrassed me and put me on the spot and Gabe shouldn't post on my Facebook. First of all, I would never say that... I do my own thing and I would not ask for public advice about that. Mostly though, "cell phones" are a "we're not having a conversation about this topic" topic. Gabe already knows how we feel about it. He was trying to get the sympathy and sway of the masses to change our minds. "Everybody has one, Mom!" Anyway, all is forgiven, but Gabe has lost some computer time. And he's still NOT getting a phone. I don't even have a cell phone. He's only 12! Did you know, "he's the ONLY kid in school that doesn't have a phone?!" Poor baby! I'm sure! (Aren't I mean?!)

Moments when I enjoy being a Mother:
Zeke buzzed Beck's hair; he looks so handsome. It's been getting pretty long... I took him to the store on Friday and hadn't combed it... he was also wearing sweat pants and sneakers... he looked so goofy, poor guy. He looks SO cute now. It really is the best haircut for a 2 year old boy; you know he just loves having his hair combed.

Beck says, "How was dat one, Mommy?"

Why I love Logan:
We had our first snowstorm of the season on Saturday... the girls immediately got on their snow gear and went outside (Beck was asleep and Gabe was at a birthday party, otherwise, they'd be with them for sure.) Snow is just so beautiful. I love to I go outside at night when it's snowing... everything is so peaceful and quiet.

Why I love our neighbors:
Our wonderful neighbors, David and Lora, needed help moving in a deep freeze on Saturday and they gave us the box. THANKS, Guys!! It was the perfect distraction for a stormy weekend. The girls have been making different curtains... pictures to follow... (They told me they aren't done yet and I can take pictures later! These girls are serious about this box! Gabe and Beck just want to wrestle in it.)

My other two children:
I'm having serious relationship issues... with my two cats!! They just do NOT get along. Well, actually Pippin is just MEAN and NASTY to Caspian. Poor Cassie! I talked with my MIL, Patty, about it. She's good with animals and knows everything about them. She has a degree in Biology and even worked at a veterinary clinic for awhile. She says I need to get Pippin's hormone and thyroid levels checked. He is SO aggressive.. and he hasn't always been quite this bad either.

Me with Caspian (I'm not picking favorites here am I?)

Pippin sleeping with Kaia. He's really sweet with people...This is my Mother in law, Patty.
She is the epitome of groovy in my book.
Don't you think Zoe looks like her?

Why I LOVE the Logan Library:
We just watched "Hairspray" for the first time. I LOVED it. A LOT! Zeke and I also watched "The Legend of Bagger Vance" last night. That show makes me cry every time. I love how it ends... nobody wins, nobody loses, everyone just has FUN! Other movies we watched this weekend that I love: "Nim's Island", "Night at the Museum" (Beck keeps saying, "Dumb dumb, give me gum gum!) and "My Neighbor Totoro":

You should really see this movie! (picture courtesy of Wikipedia)

Why Beck makes me laugh:
Beck stood up in his chair during dinner, poked his tummy out, and was straining himself so much that his face was going red. His eyes were glazed over and he was concentrating on something. We were all laughing and I said, "Beck, what are you doing?" He was VERY serious and said matter-of-factly, "I'm peeing in my diaper, Mom!" Okay, we need to get this kid potty-trained. (I'm really glad he had a diaper on... or the pee would have landed on his plate!)

Why I feel old:
Zoe's birthday is next week. She'll be 10! I can't believe it. She was my only baby born in Colorado Springs, Colorado. We've got a big party planned, too big, really, but it's okay... Zoe's so sweet and tenderhearted, she doesn't want to leave anyone out, so she invites all the girls in her school class and a few extra special friends. (Okay, so that's like 20 girls!!??) yeah, I'm nuts, but look at this face:

Zeke and Zoe from the Daddy-Daughter Date a couple weeks ago...
Did I already post this picture? Sorry if I did, but I LOVE it.Being silly!

I'm trying to be a good wife (really):

I can NOT wait to put up our Christmas decorations... Zeke always says not until the day after Thanksgiving... now, just so you know, Zeke doesn't really put his foot down about anything with me, he's very permissive about everything. (Paint the walls red, yellow, and green, Why not? Rip out the pantry and remodel the kitchen, again? Sure! What the heck? Yeah.) So I'll wait for him. He just wants Thanksgiving to be Thanksgiving and I can agree with that... but you know how people get up at 3 or 4 am on Black Friday to go shopping? Well, I'll be up digging out all my Christmas stuff... technically I could do it at midnight...hmm, tempting.

I am so thankful for my husband. He likes me even though I'm a weirdo and that's pretty darn cool.

Weekend Update... playdough and conference and parties

Well, it's Tuesday and I am so happy.... it's payday. Enough said.

Zeke has been working crazy hours still and I can't possibly imagine the day when this project is actually finished (for more reasons that one!) Yesterday, he worked from 6am to 7pm. He came home, ate dinner, and we had Family Home Evening which was very nice. Then at 10pm, he went back to work and came home at 6:30 this morning! Right now, he's sleeping. Poor guy, he is SO amazing. He is under a HUGE amount of pressure and added stress and I pray that he can get through this crazy time.

On Friday night, Gabe went to a birthday party and Zeke was at work. So the rest of us made play dough. By the way, my friend gave me THE best play dough recipe I've ever found. It's very easy to make and it doesn't stick to clothes and carpet. If you'd like the recipe, let me know.

Zeke had to work Saturday too. I was kinda bummed not to have him with us to watch Conference. But the kids and I made the best of it. We played with play dough and I embroidered a cute pillowcase for a birthday gift later that night.

Conference was amazing! I needed it so much. I took notes like crazy and I felt like several of the talks were just for me! But I always do. Some of my favorite talks were Pres. Uchtdorf's about simplifying things, Elder Holland's... I just love him!, and Elder Lawrence? about Courageous Parenting. I also loved Sister Wixom's... I could go on and on. We are so blessed.

Zeke came home around 3pm on Saturday. We all went to a birthday party for our neighbor's daughter at 4pm. Can I just tell you that I LOVE spending time with Latin-American people? They are so kind and generous. They throw THE best parties and cook THE best food. Although, I feel VERY white (in color and dancing abilities, hee hee.)

We are so blessed. Later, Zeke and Gabe went to the Priesthood Session and Zoe, Kaia, Beck and me had a dance party!! I don't know how to put videos up yet... but here's a picture of the girls after the birthday party. The lady that was doing the face painting was amazing as you can see!

Everyone went to bed and I stayed up and cleaned the house (a little) and read a book (a lot). Right now, I'm reading "The Red Pyramid" the first book in a new series by Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) It's a pretty good book, very interesting and fun so far.

Zeke has worked for ASI (his company) for over 8 years. During that time, he has NEVER had to work on a Sunday. What an incredible blessing for us. This project has been so crazy, I actually thought he might have to, but thankfully he didn't.

What a great day: big breakfast, awesome conference sessions, Twister, Settlers of Zarahemla, Monopoly, Peach Cobbler, and Bob Marley. And lots of nothing! Zeke hasn't been home this much since the end of August. I just realized I don't have any pictures of him, but he was there!:)

Oh, and of course the girls had to play dress up, they do that nearly everyday.

I think this picture looks like an album cover or something....

That We Might Have JOY

After we went Letterboxing on Saturday, Zeke had to work for "awhile" and the house was busy and loud and full of my children and their friends and lots of dirty dishes and laundry. I just wanted to curl up with my husband and family and watch a movie and forget about how much my children complained about "Mom's Nature Walk" and Zeke's job and Zeke's classes and how much time and gas money I've spent driving around town the last 2 weeks. I felt a little discouraged... don't get me wrong, I am so thankful Zeke has a good job. I am so thankful that he is willing and able to get an education. I am so thankful my children are healthy and life is good for the most part, but why is it so hard? I recall praying to Heavenly Father everyday for the last month: "please help me survive this day, please just help me get through this moment, help me get the kids to bed, help me remember this, help me fix dinner, help me stay awake, help me love my family, etc..."

I feel so overwhelmed as a Mother; I'm ashamed to admit that I always have. It just doesn't come naturally to me. I mean, I love my children more than anything and I would do anything for them and I want them to be happy, but when I hear other Mothers say how much they just "love BEING a Mother" I wonder what's wrong with me... Why don't I feel that way? Where can I find joy like that? There are small moments of joy and maybe I need to focus on those more, but it seems like they have been few and far between lately. I know, I know, I think of the quote from President Hinckley: "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."

I know I said this a few posts ago, but Zeke is seriously working almost ALL the time. Right now, it's 9pm and he has been at work since 6am and he's still not home. By the time I get dinner fixed, kids bathed, homework done, dishes and laundry whittled down and such, I am too exhausted to feel joy. How do you do it? Some days I just feel like this isn't what I signed up for. Where can I get a transfer? (just kidding) I find myself wishing my days away and wanting time to pass and I know that is NOT how I should feel.

I know with all my heart and soul I'm supposed to be a stay at home mother... someday, I'll share that experience with you... but now that my oldest is 12... somewhere along the way, I thought things would get a little easier. I thought I'd have some experience and wisdom to draw from (ha ha ha) ... I would be so calm and patient and peaceful and JOYFUL. Why I expected things to get easier I don't know? But I wish it was, even just a little.

Let me remind you, I have a 2 year old boy... need I say more? And NONE of our children have ever been, what would you say "quiet", "calm", "passive", "complacent", "compliant", "normal"? (No, not one! They are all way too much like their parents I'm afraid, especially their mother!)

I'm just tired, I guess. I was really feeling sorry for myself Saturday night after I finally got all the kids to bed. I decided I would read the Ensign for awhile and see if that would help me feel better. You know those days when dinner's over and you want to put the kids to bed at 6pm? Yeah, it was one of those days... but I didn't actually get the kids in bed until about 10pm.

Well, I said my prayers to help me be a better Mother and to find something in the Ensign to help me keep going. I try so hard everyday, but when I fall into bed at night, I feel like a complete failure.

Anyway, I found an article in the September 2010 Ensign that was written just for me. It was!
It's called "That We Might Have Joy" by Andrea Jones. She talks about her struggles as a missionary... but it sounded just like my struggles as a Mother. She went to a Stake Conference seeking "the Joy" that everyone else was feeling. Her mission president spoke about the joy of Christ's redemption that each of us can feel every day. He testified that even during difficult and uncertain times, we can feel joy from understanding the significance of the Savior's Atonement. She said, "The joy I thought I had never experienced was all around me. I just hadn't opened my heart to feel it... since my mission I have come to understand that situations and surroundings have no lasting impact on our ability to feel joy." Wow!

So even though my life is totally CA-RAZY and completely exhausting right now, I can feel joy each day because of the knowledge and testimony I have of the Savior's Atonement. I can endure anything and still have joy knowing that I have a Redeemer. Knowing that I can repent, knowing that doing my best is enough. Somehow when I realized this, everything became so simple. I am so tired everyday, but I want to do my best. Thinking of the Savior and His eternal sacrifice for me makes me want to do more. "...It is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.” (2 Ne. 25:23) Thank Heaven, literally.

PS I just wanted to add how amazing my husband is. Even though he's not home much right now, he is doing things for the good of our family. At the moment, we are kind of stuck in the middle of school and work and he keeps going! He's the one who's really exhausted :( I just woke up this morning and wanted to add this because Zeke is making a huge sacrifice too.

My name is La5cy (the 5 is silent)

Ok, imagine for a moment, that you're the kind of person that loves music. I mean really LOVES music of all kinds. You especially enjoy ska, punk (as long as it's clean), alternative, 70's rock, 80's hair bands (YEP!) and even David Bowie. Imagine that you're the kind of person that enjoys watching movies where the underdog comes out on top, where there's a cheesy love story, a good dash of comedy, and an "old-fashioned" happy ending. AND!! Reach down deep inside the imagination center of your brain.... imagine that you are a person that likes Vanessa Hudgens. Ok, are you imagining all of these things? Are you wondering what sort of weirdo could possibly like all that stuff?! Well, believe it or not, this weirdo is ME!

Zeke and I watched the movie, "Bandslam" over the weekend. We liked it SO much, we watched it the next day with all the kids! (I rarely watch a movie twice in a row.... rarely) Now, I'm not too critical when it comes to movies (picky, yes! critical, no). I don't follow the Oscars, I don't watch movies just because people say, "You have to see this! The cinematography is spectacular! The special effects are amazing! The acting is phenomenal!" I watch movies that make me laugh and cry all at the same time AND make me feel good when it's over. (And just for the record, "I am Legend" is NOT one of those movies...)

WARNING! This paragraph contains thoughts from the "parent" part of my brain... This movie even has great life lessons like: standing up for yourself and others, never giving up, loyalty, forgiveness, honesty, hard work, stepping out of your comfort zone, and pursuing your dreams.....

This movie also features a great ska-inspired cover of "Everything I own" from the band, Bread. (enough said)

Anyway, there's a scene where the main character gets "lips-on" training in how to kiss a girl. He then, takes this "training" and attempts to employ it on the girl he really likes. Yes, I'm a sentimental, mushy, romantic, cheesy person, but it was SO sweet! And the second time we watched it was even better! Gabe and Zoe were watching it with us, as well as two of their friends... I enjoyed watching their reactions to this attempted kiss more than the movie itself. Do you remember your first kiss? I do! And my stomach still gets butterflies when I think about it.....