A Cuckoo Clock and AC/DC in Sacrament Meeting: Tied for second!!

Okay, even though it happened over 20 years ago, I'm pretty sure this is the MOST embarrassing moment of my life so far. However, I have two more embarrassing moments that pretty much tie for second place. One of them happened this weekend...

Okay, so my parents have this really cool old cuckoo clock. If I was thinking about it, I would have taken a picture of it this weekend. My dad got it in Germany when he was serving in the military in 1957-ish? It's all hand-carved and hand-painted and it plays music and has little people? come out at various times and a bird of course. (Think of all the cute cuckoo clocks on Pinnochio.) Needless to say, I LOVE this clock! I have always loved it. My Dad originally gave it to his parents and after they died, he got it back and hung it on the dining room wall in my parent's house.

Here's a cuckoo clock I found on Wikipedia -- my parent's clock is similar, but has more colors painted on it and such.

So this is how it all went down:

Anyhoo, back in July when we were visiting, my Mom says, "Well, Lace, your Dad wants to give you that cuckoo clock! I just need to see if I can find the weights for it so it will work..."

Me: "OKAY!!!! Yeah, sure, you bet, I love it! THANK YOU!"
(I was just a *bit* excited)

The day goes on, and my Mom supposedly didn't find the weights, and we got busy with the kids (as usual), forgot about it and went home. I just thought I would get it next time. Well, next time was this weekend. I called my Mom on Thursday to tell her what time we were coming and also that I was bringing an old camera of mine that I had planned to give her.

She says, "Oh, Lacy, you don't need to give me that camera, I just feel guilty it's too much! You are just so good to me!" (FYI: My Mom and I are both serious guilt-mongers -- we just HAVE to have something to feel guilty about, we pretty much feel guilty about anyone doing anything for us, etc.)

I say, "Mom!! I'm not even using that camera, I want to give it to you!" Then, I thought of a silly way to make my Mom feel like we were trading something and an opportunity to bring up the cuckoo clock again, "Mom, here's the deal, you said Dad wants to give me the cuckoo clock -- let's just trade straight across -- the camera for the cuckoo clock and then you don't have to feel guilty."

On the the other end of the phone, my Mom says: NOTHING! (ABSOLUTE DEAD SILENCE) After a few awkward seconds, she clears her throat and says, "Uh, Lace, I'm really sorry, but your Dad and I were actually planning to let you have the clock AFTER WE DIE..."

Me: "OH......."
For one brief moment, my Mom and I actually didn't have anything to say to each other.

Um, yeah, okay, sure, uh, crap... somehow I missed that part. OH MAN!! I felt SO dumb!! And just for the record, it's REALLY weird when my parents start saying things like that. It's happening more and more and I just keep saying, "MOTHER!! Don't say stuff like that!" Well, this time, I was like, "uhhhhhh, oh my gosh, MOM!! I feel so stupid! I thought you meant right now..." (Beck yells in the background: "Mom, don't say STUPID!")

Yeah, my Mom is truly one of my very best friends, so that helped a *little*, but then she says, "Well, let me go talk to your Dad..." NO, Mom, I can wait, really, I hope it's at least another 25 years before I get that dang clock!! Well, I guess I'll have a good story with it someday when Zoe and Kaia want it. The end.

Now, here's my other second most embarrassing moment:

I think it was a few years ago. For some reason I was at my parent's house with the kids and Zeke was home. I think it was when my Mom had her hip replaced? Anyway, it was Sunday, and the kids and I went to sacrament meeting at my parent's ward. I was running late (of course) and when you come in late to a Mormon church (maybe it's true of all churches) the only place left to sit is RIGHT IN FRONT! This was embarrassing enough for me.

So I brought my "church bag" with me and it usually has all sorts of items to help me survive sacrament meeting: baby wipes, coloring books, candy, etc. This time it was also full of other things I brought for the trip: extra clothes for Beck, toiletries, DVD's, and Zeke's cell phone. (I was planning to empty some of this stuff out, but again, I was late!)

Zeke had wanted me to take his cell phone if there was an emergency while I was driving with the kids and he knows me so well, he KNEW I had it in my church bag that morning. Well, not only did I forget the cell phone was in my church bag, but I didn't even think about turning the ringer off... (and of course Zeke knew that I would do that too!)

Now, picture Zeke 4 hours north of me sitting in sacrament all alone, missing his cute wife and kids and wondering how he can tease me from so far away (Zeke LIVES to tease me, by the way)... he checks the clock and thinks, "Hmm, Lacy and the kids are sitting in sacrament right about now, the sacrament has been passed, and I bet the first speaker has just gotten up to give their talk..."

Back in my parent's ward, I am wrestling Beck and Kaia on my lap and trying to keep Gabe and Zoe from fighting. Oh, and I need to mention that my parent's ward doesn't have very many young families in it, so it is already more than DEATHLY QUIET. Suddenly I hear this! It was LOUD and went on for at least 20 seconds. I'm sitting there thinking, "Sheesh! Somebody should really turn off their cell phone... DUH!!!" and then, immediately I realize, "OH MY HECK!!!! IT'S ME AND THAT'S MY PHONE!!!!!"

By now, more time has passed and I practically throw Beck off my lap and frantically rummage through the bag to find that phone and shut it off! My face is red, my fingers are sweating, EVERYONE is staring at us, and the speaker stops talking and is actually WAITING for me! (Oh, even just a little lightning bolt striking me dead right now would be just fine!)

It was just horrible. I don't think I got the phone turned off until the first verse was over. "NINE LIVES!! CAT'S EYES!!" Not that "Back in Black" from AC/DC is a "bad" song, really. I love that song! But of all places and of all people; this was my home ward. The ward I really NEVER went to growing up.

When my Mom made me go, I was the wild, rough-looking teenager just waiting to leave. I remember sitting in sacrament with my friend, Kami, when I was about 14 or so, and the opening hymn was "Rock of Ages". We were laughing and making fun of it the whole time. HA!! We thought, "They named a hymn after the Def Leppard song!" We were trying to sing the Def Leppard lyrics with the hymn. HA!!! Oh, we thought we were so funny.

So anyway, to add insult to injury, here I am 20 years later, trying to appear like a normal-"grown-up"-reverent-church going-Mommy(whatever that is) and my cell phone starts blasting AC/DC!! There are probably over 20 widows in my Mom's ward and at least a dozen couples over the age of 75. Oh man, I got some looks!

And then to top it off, as soon as I got out of sacrament, I planned to call Zeke and say, "Oh, honey, guess what happened! You called me right when I was in sacrament and I couldn't find my phone to turn it off!" But as soon as he answered the phone, all I could hear was him laughing hysterically and finally saying, "I got you, didn't I?!" And then I knew, this was NO accident!

Writing this down, the cell phone in sacrament was WAY more embarrassing than the cuckoo clock...

But now I think it's all pretty funny.

In case you were wondering...

Why I love my children:

They just have so much fun!
We found some stray pipe cleaners in the art cupboard.

I really enjoy cooking:
I made Butter Chicken and Garlic Naan on Saturday... it was awesome! My friend, Jessica, gave me the recipes: seriously, if you've never tried Indian food before, you should. I didn't think I would like it, but I LOVE it. If you want the recipes, let me know. Jessica is so awesome! I was having trouble finding an ingredient and she brought some to my house. FYI, "garam masala" is a spice blend and your grocer probably has it, even if they tell you they don't!

Moments when I don't enjoy being a mother:
My dear son, Gabe, thought it would be funny to get on my Facebook account and post a status as me: "My son wants a phone. Do you think I should get him one?" So by the time I checked my FB later that night, there were 18 public comments and 2 private ones... either cheering me on, "of course, why not?" or condemning me for even considering it!

Basically, I was really TICKED OFF!! (Think of Jack Black on "School of Rock") And I guess it wasn't that big of deal... other than it really embarrassed me and put me on the spot and Gabe shouldn't post on my Facebook. First of all, I would never say that... I do my own thing and I would not ask for public advice about that. Mostly though, "cell phones" are a "we're not having a conversation about this topic" topic. Gabe already knows how we feel about it. He was trying to get the sympathy and sway of the masses to change our minds. "Everybody has one, Mom!" Anyway, all is forgiven, but Gabe has lost some computer time. And he's still NOT getting a phone. I don't even have a cell phone. He's only 12! Did you know, "he's the ONLY kid in school that doesn't have a phone?!" Poor baby! I'm sure! (Aren't I mean?!)

Moments when I enjoy being a Mother:
Zeke buzzed Beck's hair; he looks so handsome. It's been getting pretty long... I took him to the store on Friday and hadn't combed it... he was also wearing sweat pants and sneakers... he looked so goofy, poor guy. He looks SO cute now. It really is the best haircut for a 2 year old boy; you know he just loves having his hair combed.

Beck says, "How was dat one, Mommy?"

Why I love Logan:
We had our first snowstorm of the season on Saturday... the girls immediately got on their snow gear and went outside (Beck was asleep and Gabe was at a birthday party, otherwise, they'd be with them for sure.) Snow is just so beautiful. I love to I go outside at night when it's snowing... everything is so peaceful and quiet.

Why I love our neighbors:
Our wonderful neighbors, David and Lora, needed help moving in a deep freeze on Saturday and they gave us the box. THANKS, Guys!! It was the perfect distraction for a stormy weekend. The girls have been making different curtains... pictures to follow... (They told me they aren't done yet and I can take pictures later! These girls are serious about this box! Gabe and Beck just want to wrestle in it.)

My other two children:
I'm having serious relationship issues... with my two cats!! They just do NOT get along. Well, actually Pippin is just MEAN and NASTY to Caspian. Poor Cassie! I talked with my MIL, Patty, about it. She's good with animals and knows everything about them. She has a degree in Biology and even worked at a veterinary clinic for awhile. She says I need to get Pippin's hormone and thyroid levels checked. He is SO aggressive.. and he hasn't always been quite this bad either.

Me with Caspian (I'm not picking favorites here am I?)

Pippin sleeping with Kaia. He's really sweet with people...This is my Mother in law, Patty.
She is the epitome of groovy in my book.
Don't you think Zoe looks like her?

Why I LOVE the Logan Library:
We just watched "Hairspray" for the first time. I LOVED it. A LOT! Zeke and I also watched "The Legend of Bagger Vance" last night. That show makes me cry every time. I love how it ends... nobody wins, nobody loses, everyone just has FUN! Other movies we watched this weekend that I love: "Nim's Island", "Night at the Museum" (Beck keeps saying, "Dumb dumb, give me gum gum!) and "My Neighbor Totoro":

You should really see this movie! (picture courtesy of Wikipedia)

Why Beck makes me laugh:
Beck stood up in his chair during dinner, poked his tummy out, and was straining himself so much that his face was going red. His eyes were glazed over and he was concentrating on something. We were all laughing and I said, "Beck, what are you doing?" He was VERY serious and said matter-of-factly, "I'm peeing in my diaper, Mom!" Okay, we need to get this kid potty-trained. (I'm really glad he had a diaper on... or the pee would have landed on his plate!)

Why I feel old:
Zoe's birthday is next week. She'll be 10! I can't believe it. She was my only baby born in Colorado Springs, Colorado. We've got a big party planned, too big, really, but it's okay... Zoe's so sweet and tenderhearted, she doesn't want to leave anyone out, so she invites all the girls in her school class and a few extra special friends. (Okay, so that's like 20 girls!!??) yeah, I'm nuts, but look at this face:

Zeke and Zoe from the Daddy-Daughter Date a couple weeks ago...
Did I already post this picture? Sorry if I did, but I LOVE it.Being silly!

I'm trying to be a good wife (really):

I can NOT wait to put up our Christmas decorations... Zeke always says not until the day after Thanksgiving... now, just so you know, Zeke doesn't really put his foot down about anything with me, he's very permissive about everything. (Paint the walls red, yellow, and green, Why not? Rip out the pantry and remodel the kitchen, again? Sure! What the heck? Yeah.) So I'll wait for him. He just wants Thanksgiving to be Thanksgiving and I can agree with that... but you know how people get up at 3 or 4 am on Black Friday to go shopping? Well, I'll be up digging out all my Christmas stuff... technically I could do it at midnight...hmm, tempting.

I am so thankful for my husband. He likes me even though I'm a weirdo and that's pretty darn cool.