The good, the bad and the "buggy"

How can someone be SO happy and SO sad all at the same time? Living in my head is exhausting, I tell you! One moment, I'm high as a kite and I love my life, the next, I'm rolling my eyes and muttering under my breath, "Heaven help me be a better person, PLEASE!"

Not sure what I'm blogging about today, but my brain feels overloaded. (Seems to be a common theme, eh?) My blog is turning into my brain dump. Who knows? All of these crumbs might get cooked up into a great book someday... 

So many people in our world today need serious help or even just a friendly face. There are people right in our neighborhood and I'm sure they are right in your neighborhood too! I feel so blessed to be able to serve others and be aware of their needs. I love these people and I hope I can always be in tune with the Spirit and keep my mind and my day open enough to make time for helping others. Dropping everything to run to the aid of another person and feeling the Spirit carry you as you go... there's no other feeling like that.

Such a wonderful day yesterday in so many ways. Beck and I played Uno. Just the two of us. It was really fun. He's getting so big. He lost his first tooth last night. To me, that makes him seem much bigger now than when he started Kindergarten a few weeks ago. Can my baby really be old enough to lose a tooth?! Where has the time gone? Really. 

It's hard to see his missing tooth in this picture, but I love his face. The new gap on the bottom in the front, of course.

Kaia is going on a field trip today to Logan Canyon and to say she is excited is a HUGE understatement. Her teacher this year is just absolutely perfect for her. They are kindred spirits. She truly loves and encourages Kaia's reading obsession and she's been doing a lot of Science with her class. Kaia is her biggest fan! It's so fun to hear about all of the cool things her teacher is doing. My Ms. Frizzle wish is growing and growing every year!

Beck and Kaia headed out the door to school. 

It's homecoming week at Gabe's high school and he went to the parade and powderpuff game last night. I picked him up afterwards and we had a great time laughing together as he told me about all the funny things that happened. I stopped at the gas station to fill up the van and he offered to buy me a treat. It was so sweet. I love talking and laughing with him. I'll give him a ride home any time just for that reason. I love that he is happy.  (Mostly happy, after all, he is 15!)

Zoe has a new friend she met at school and it turns out she only lives a couple blocks away! How cool is that? I met her friend and her Mom last night. They seem really nice. I like this friend for Zoe because she's still enjoying being 12. Not into boys yet, still wanting to play outside and well, just PLAY! Zoe is so much like that and I hope she can enjoy every last second of being "little". I loved hearing about their nature walk and all of their "big plans" for having different fashion themes each week and wearing matching colors at school. It made me smile. The 12 year old inside of me is still very much alive and kicking and I wonder if she'll ever realize she's almost 39... in some ways, I hope not.

Speaking of being 12 though.... in some ways, I guess I really need to grow up. But I'm really not sure how -- that is why I still must be 12 inside, because sometimes my heart hurts SO much about silly little things. Sometimes I get SO mad about things. Sometimes I just want to be little again and not have all of the silly grown-up problems. 

I was talking to my girls the other day about some girls that weren't being so nice to them at school. Nothing major, just mean girls giving them dirty looks. You know the "eye to toes and back up to your eyes -- Oh, you're no threat to me" kind of look? Yeah. I hate that. I told them just to smile at those girls and don't ever give them a second thought. Ever. I told them to brush it off and be strong, because Guess What? There are STILL "girls" like that who are my age. Yuck.

Anyway, I'm just always feeling like I don't fit it anywhere and maybe I don't, but the question is: WHY do I care? I just don't know. My season in life is here with family right now.  My kids and husband are where I invest most of my time and I know that is most important, but I always end up feeling left out. I always feel like I just walked in AFTER the punch line of everything. There seems to be a secret world out there that I've never been part of... (thank heavens for preschool -- they LOVE me! :)

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Have you ever read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? You know where Professor Slughorn alters his memories before he lets Professor Dumbledore see them? Well, I just altered my blog before EVERYONE reads it. I erased about 4 paragraphs of YUCK right here. It was just me complaining and being contentious. I need to go talk with the person I have an issue with directly, not vaguely hint around it on my blog. Sorry if you read it -- I don't want to be that kind of person! Anyway, good luck finding the horcruxes and all that...

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I know it's just Satan trying to bring me down, but I also know having good and bad experiences so EXTREME in one day is a reminder to me there are areas in my life I really need to do better in. I need to LOVE people, to see them as God sees them, and not to let them bother me so much. There is good in everyone. I truly believe that. I think the good gets clouded by assumptions and jealousy and their own feelings of insecurity or even just stress and fatigue. 

I have so many awesome people in my life and I'm going to focus on them. People that seem to like me for the moment and I'll take it! I want be humble and kind to everyone around me, regardless of how they treat me. It's easy to love someone that loves you, right? But I want to love the ones who don't. That's going to be my focus. I worry about realizing this goal and saying it "out loud". I've prayed about it and now I know the tests will come! I hope I'm ready...

I just think I get along better with my own family (wow, that is an awesome realization, isn't it!!!) and of course, my cats. This is our new addition, Churro. His favorite hiding spot is inside the shoe bench. He is just absolutely adorable. Really. I cannot help it. I love this guy! He has THE cutest little meow.

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~ Anatole France

BALANCE, EXACTNESS, FOCUS

Kaia and Beck made a giant paper boat during Christmas break. It was so awesome! Did I tell you how much I enjoyed Christmas break? It was a first for me. I was actually a little sad to see the kids go back to school today. Well, that is, until Gabe decided to throw a cup of water on Zoe this morning while they were getting ready for school. The ensuing water fight created the need for 3 of my 4 children to change into dry clothes before school and in less than 15 minutes... yeah. Beck was still asleep at that point or I'm sure he would've been wet too! Vacation's over! Hooray for school!

For weeks now, I've been thinking about my "New Years Resolutions" and "Word of the Year".  I love January. I love the feeling of starting something new, changing for the better, resolving to improve; however, I'm not always so good at following through. (Yeah, don't LAUGH!)

Last year my word was DISCIPLINE -- although I achieved many personal and financial goals in this area (by the way, I totally failed at the "NO SHOPPING" thing), I feel like this word wasn't exactly what I needed. Maybe FOCUS would have been a better one. I don't want to be perfect and give myself a list of strict "No's". I want to be balanced and give myself more allowances and rewards, even, for goals achieved; more "Yes, as soon as I finish this" sort of thing.

I heard a great quote a few weeks ago:

"If nothing changes, nothing changes."

A bit like the Albert Einstein "definition of insanity" quote, but to me, it's more concise and for some reason, much more profound.

This year, it's not one "word of the year" per se, 
it's more like a mantra.

When I look back, I've actually done a lot of great things in my life. I just want to feel more PEACE and SATISFACTION and PROGRESS. This year, I will use BALANCE and EXACTNESS and FOCUS in the way I do things. Now you might think balance sounds a bit contradicting or out of place with exactness and focus... "let me 'splain":

Balance in how much and when and why I do things:

• I decide what is right for me -- when and how and why.
• Not too much play, not too much work, not too much crazy, but a balance. (I know I cannot totally control all of this, but I'm going to control what I can -- I always get myself way in over my head with obligations and commitments.) Part of this balance is FUN for me -- as in, I gave myself permission to be on Pinterest again. Done.

Mosiah 4:27 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in wisdom and order."

Exactness in how I do things:

• doing things right
• finishing what I start
• sticking to my plan
• following up each week on my progress

This scripture keeps popping in my head over the last few months: Alma 57:21 "Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with EXACTNESS; yeah, and even according to their faith it was done unto them..."

Focus on what is truly important:

• family (show love everyday)
• health (physical, spiritual, and emotional) 
• finances (use exactness and restraint to achieve financial goals)

BALANCE, EXACTNESS, FOCUS

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
I'll let you know how I'm doing in a week... if I can focus that long.

How I spent my summer "vacation"

Swimming

lots of swimming

Sweating

I feel like I've been melting all summer

Crying

this summer has been hard

Correcting

all I need is a whistle and a black and white striped shirt!

Comforting

leaving our home of 9 years has been hard on the kids and cats (and me) - Zeke is a rock!

Changing

Cleaning

TOO MUCH cleaning and I'm sure it's not enough. 
Thanks, Lora!

Packing

Un-packing

Praying

Pleading

Pricing

Pondering

Planning

Phone-calling

Emailing

Meeting new people

More phone-calling

More emailing

Buying LOTS of popsicles

Watching "Cake Boss"

(and sorry to say, lots of Dinosaur Train and Pound Puppies -- "Fuhget aboud it!")
Buying cake 
(notice I didn't say baking)

Watching "The Adventures of Merlin"

if only I could look like Morgana and not BE like Morgana!

Having LOTS of picnics

Hiking

Spelunking

Going to the fair

Thinking

Wishing 

Hoping 

Dreaming

Stressing

Obsessing

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

Just surviving

 and LAUNDRY

oh, the laundry -- especially towels!

Oh, I did NOT do any yard work! Bonus :)

A summer to remember, but glad to be through it really.

What did I miss the most?

the things I need the most:

Good friends

Good books

How did you spend YOUR summer vacation?
(Man, I hope I get an A on this!)

Feed My Sheep

I'm not too sure about this "Monday Musings" thing. My mind is ALWAYS so full. I have a lot to say and I often wonder if any of it is relevant to anything...

We had a really good weekend. Lots of reading, relaxing, watching movies, and spending time together. I love Saturdays when there is nothing scheduled. They are rare at our house and I am determined to make them happen more often. Zeke replaced some old panels on our bathroom vanity. Thanks, honey! We made crepes, chocolate chip cookies, banana bread, and fried chicken. We visited the library and also had a "hair-cutting party" (Kaia's words). I forgot to take pictures (I know), but I was busy cutting hair! Zoe and Kaia wanted bangs. Gabe wanted his hair "buzzed" (Zeke did that).

Anyway, I've been thinking all week about what I wanted to post today.  Zoe and I read an article in the New Era (church magazine for our youth) yesterday called, "Bees, Beehives, and You" by Annette Murray Wells and Stephen A. Wells. (P.S. If you don't know, I LOVE insects, so I was instantly drawn to this article simply because of the title. Bees are amazing... and so are WOMEN!)

 I found this quote: "One woman is HELPFUL; ten women are INFLUENTIAL; one hundred are POWERFUL; one thousand are INVINCIBLE." ~ Ardeth G. Kapp

Wow! That quote is so profound and empowering; it makes me wonder what we could do if we all work together? I love blogging and I want to make a difference in the world. Even if my actions affect just one person, that person can share what they know with someone else and so on. I enjoy so many of your blogs and I want you to know that you are making a difference in my life.

Yesterday at church, I heard this scripture and I just can't stop thinking about it:

John 21:15-17: "(15) So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. (16) He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. (17) He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep."

I am a member of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints. All that I am and hope to become, I owe to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the life and light of the world. He is The Reason. I love him and want to answer His call to: "Feed My Sheep".  I have added two more pages to my blog: "The Living Christ" and "Articles of Faith" to help you learn more about my beliefs. Please ask me ANY questions you might have.

I love January. I love the feeling of a New Year. I also LOVE the sunshine we've been having. There are so many things I want to do. I want to pace myself and be good to myself in some ways, but I also want to challenge myself and push myself to accomplish goals I have only dreamed about. I love the scripture found in Alma 26:12: "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in His strength I can do all things..." :)

I'm already feeling the pinch of my "NO SHOPPING" challenge... I'm going to need some HELP.

I dare you!

Okay, I know it's not unique for me to say I have been thinking about goals and resolutions the past week or so...

I also told you in my last post about my
"Word of the Year" idea from my friend, Tawnya.

The word I have chosen for 2012 is:

DISCIPLINE

For the month of January (especially after Christmas) I want to focus my discipline on our finances; specifically, my spending habits. Now, we don't have a lot of "extra" money or disposable income or whatever you want to call it, but we do have a lot of debt.
Student loans, car loan, medical bills, mortgage, etc.

I would really like to focus on paying down our debt as much as I can.
This is going to take DISCIPLINE.

I was standing in the shower thinking this morning (thank you, Jane's Addiction, it really is the best place to think.) I was trying to decide what to wear for church... I realized I had SO many decisions... the black and white flower skirt, the brown skirt, the red and brown paisley skirt, the purple and silver striped skirt (I know!), the green ruffle skirt...suddenly I had a thought,
"I am SPOILED ROTTEN!"
I realized all of these skirts I bought sometime in 2011...
and I'm only mentioning the "Fall/Winter" skirts!

Now, just to excuse myself a little, all of these skirts were purchased from a thrift store where none of them cost more than $4 each, but still! Does any person actually NEED that many clothes, let alone skirts? (I said NEED...) I realized when Zeke got his new job last October, my clothing obsession I've fought so hard to purge from my system instantly returned (mysteriously...). I've been trying to stick within our budget and ease my guilty conscience by shopping at the thrift store, but looking in my closet this morning, I realized I have a problem.

Isn't that the first step to recovery from any addiction --
admitting you have a problem?
Well, I'm admitting it.
(I'm also admitting that my closet is full to bursting)
I also was thinking about DISCIPLINE and how I can apply it to my (ahem) "problem" and also benefit our financial situation.

I love the quote, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."
Sometimes I'm good at this;
I can be really good when I have to, but other times...
I buy 3 pairs of shoes just because I can't decide which pair I like the best...
(Seriously, how could I choose JUST ONE? They were *only* $6.00 a pair!)

So I'm still in the shower, when I got an idea. An awful idea.

The "Shopaholic" got a wonderful, *awful* idea!

What if I make a goal not to buy ANY clothes, shoes, jewelry, scarves, whatever for myself for one whole YEAR!!

NOTHING FOR ONE YEAR.
Sounds crazy, huh? Well, I like a good challenge!
I really want to see if I can do it -- if I can discipline myself.
Now, I have allotted myself one "new" pair of jeans next fall and one new white shirt for layering -- those are things that actually need to be replaced, but other than that.... NOTHING!!!!!

Who's in? I DARE YOU!

The money I would have spent -- estimating what I spent last year and when I see something I like and "JUST SAY NO" -- sometimes I'll pick something up and audibly tell myself, "NO!!" and put it back on the rack -- yes, as a matter of fact, I do get strange looks all the time -- I'm going to put that money into a special savings account and see how much I have one year from today.
I heard a quote somewhere:
"Our success in this life depends on our ability to discipline ourselves."(ouch!)

I also heard a quote today at church that really struck a chord with me:
"If we are willing to do what needs to be done, it will get done."(OUCH!)
So pretty much, it's up to me...

I really want to make a HUGE dent in our debt this year and this is just one way I can contribute and practice controlling my spending habits.

Here's me and Beck on Christmas: Zeke got me a new hood/light for my aquarium... it was the only thing on my wish list! :) My other hood has been broken for quite a few years now. Yes, I'm a nerd! But I'm a going to be a debt-free nerd... now if I can just stop buying fish!

THIS is the definition of Insanity

"The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." ~ Albert Einstein

I can't believe how often this quote applies to my life. When I finally wake up and realize what I'm doing -- this quote always comes to mind.

Thanks, Gabe, for letting me use your AWESOME gorilla skull on my blog
(I think it would make a cool T-shirt):

I was whining to Zeke this morning (Wednesday after my last post) about how hard it is and how stressed I am, how messy the house is and how grumpy we all are and sick of each other. DUH!

Kids eating breakfast hours apart, sleeping in until 10 or 11, friends coming and going, insanely stressful dinner making times, "the witching hours" as my friend Stephanie calls it. She talked about quiet/play in your room time right before dinner when they're hungry, tired, and excited for Dad to get home. GENIUS. She also told me to spend more one on one time with each child. INSPIRED. Hard to do, but VERY important.

Today I changed, made a schedule, not just in my head, but on paper on the fridge and went through it with each child and well, tried to follow it --aaaaah. So much better! Another quote I need to practice more often, "If you don't write it down, it's simply a wish."
Not every member of the household was pleased with the "SCHEDULE" (i.e. Gabe), but I think they'll figure out soon enough, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" There HAS to be some structure even to summer. June was so crazy and July was so busy. Better late than never, right?

We've done a lot of cool things -- swim lessons, play group, afternoon at the county fair, late nights with friends, summer reading program, cooking together, yard work, sewing, etc, but it's all been "roly-poly, pell-mell tumble-bumble" and I end up at the bottom of the hill in a big heap.
Now that there's only 2 weeks left, I've got it all figured out... for NEXT YEAR! Bring on the Strawberry Shortcake! :) 10 pts. to the first person who can identify one of our favorite books I'm quoting. Oh, and here's the guardian of our front porch (Thank, Caspian):

Is he cute or what?
(Dedra and Tawnya don't need to answer this, but I love you anyway :)

Spring Clinging

It's that time of year. The "Winter Blues/Blahs." I feel like that sometimes. On Monday, it was SO "warm"; the snow was all melted and the temperature was 38 degrees! Yeah, we were having a heat wave (for January in Logan really!) I went to the grocery store wearing flats WITHOUT any socks! Yeah, I'm a rebel.

I knew it wouldn't last. The weather is just a big tease here. In fact, it's a common saying in Logan that if you don't like the weather just wait 5 minutes. Winter can be very dark and dreary. And we have serious inversion to add to the yuck. Spring doesn't really come until April or May. In fact, I remember one year our Young Women got snowed on at girl's camp -- in JUNE!

On Tuesday the temperature had only gone down to 35, but I woke up to 2 or 3 inches of snow; somehow it seemed much colder. I was determined not to let it get me down!

As soon as I got the kids off to school, I reached for my therapy:

I've been reading my scriptures in the morning now for 5 days in a row! This new habit is really changing my perspective on the day. Really. I feel a little more happy, a little more patient, a little more loving, a little more energetic, a little more tolerant. It's only a little, but it's amazing how much better my day goes.

I'm reading in 1st Nephi right now about the Tree of Life. I really like the imagery in verse 24 of chapter 8: " And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree."

The mists of darkness are the temptations of the devil. The iron rod is the word of God: the scriptures. Notice the word clinging. Not just touching the iron rod or occasionally holding it or having someone else put our hand on the rod for us, but these people are CLINGING!

To me, clinging implies a "white-knuckled" holding on for dear life kind of holding! In the dictionary, clinging means: to adhere to as if glued firmly or to hold on tightly or tenaciously.

I think this means that living righteously can be hard, but the way has been prepared. Clinging to the rod of iron requires DAILY effort! DAILY scripture study. We can't afford to let go of the iron rod for even one moment! "The iron rod is the word of God; 'twill safely guide us through." (Hymns # 274) I hope my new habit will help me cling better. :)

After reading my scriptures and taking a shower, I took down my "Winter Magic" snowman wreath in protest. The magic is over for the season.
So I put up this:

Pretending it was Spring,
I painted my toenails and went barefoot in the house all day:

Yes, I know I have THE longest toes ever, but hey, don't you love the bright pink? I did a coat of Zoe's gold sparkly over the top just for fun :)
By the way, isn't Noira cute?

I have another ritual to lift my spirits. I change my shower curtain
(and rugs and towels) every 6 months or so, just to brighten things up.
Here's my "Fall/Winter" shower curtain:
And here's my "Spring/Summer" one:

Things are looking bright! Happy Spring Clinging!

I can take a hint!

Here I am. Monday, January 3rd, 2011. The 3 older kids are back at school again. Zeke is at work. Beck is watching "Kipper" (Thank you, Netflix!) And I'm thinking I need to post on my blog... it's been a week and that's a long time for me!

This last week has been a blur. The entire holiday break is a blur. But we did have fun in spite of all the sickness. And more importantly, we are feeling better for the most part. I'm doing as well as I can right now.

Way back in January 2007, my Dad had a heart attack and I wanted to go see him. Zeke was so wonderful. He took off work and stayed home with the kids so I could drive to Orem where my Dad was in the hospital. Only one problem: my retarded bladder was acting up again. (FYI, stress is one of the triggers for my IC) I remember Zeke gave me a blessing before I left and it was one of those blessings that you didn't really feel better, but you felt peace at the same time. Does that make any sense at all? Probably not. But he said something like, "You will have health problems your entire life, but you will be able to enjoy your life in spite of them." It took my breath away, but at the same time I already knew that would be my fate. I am just so thankful to be here.

I don't suffer from any serious/major health problems really, but I always have something. Anyway, my IC has been terrible this Christmas. Dr. Pitcher gave me a HUGE list of foods that can be triggers for a flare up. Chocolate is one of them. I'm almost positive it affects me. NOT CHOCOLATE! I love chocolate so much! Really. But as horrible as I have felt, it's an easy trade. 2011 will be very different in that respect. But I might fudge a little on that one now and then, no pun intended!

We watched two great movies over the holiday:

"Avalon High" -- A Disney movie made from a book by Meg Cabot (author of the Princess Diaries). Now, this movie won't win any major awards, but I LOVED it! We all did! The twist at the end was AWESOME! I love when I'm surprised by a movie. Very cute. It's all about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, Sir Lancelot, and Queen Guinevere. My kind of movie.

"Stone of Destiny" -- true story about Ian Hamilton, a guy from Scotland who tried to raid Westminster Abbey in 1951 to bring back the "Stone on Scone" a symbol of Scottish pride back to Scotland where it should be. LOVED THIS!! Charlie Cox from "Stardust" starred in this movie. He's great.

Gabe made shoes out of duct tape! He is so creative.
He actually wore them to school today. :)

On New Year's Eve, we took the kids bowling. It was great!
This was Beck's first time :)

Zeke cooked steak and homemade fries for us and we also had Fortune Cookies (one of our New Year's traditions). I guess I'm the kind of person that believes in fate and destiny and all that, but I try to take my fortunes pretty seriously. The rest of the family got happy, predictable, positive fortunes like: "You will be very prosperous and successful in your business ventures." or "Your travel plans will take an exciting turn this year." or "Your wit and ingenuity will bring great success to your life."

Well, this was my fortune for 2011:

"There is a time to be practical -- NOW."

Coincidence, no! Remember the quote from Elder Holland, "A coincidence is just a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous." This fortune was PERFECT for me. Not exactly what I wanted to hear (not at all really), but I can take a hint.

I have too many plans, I'm trying to run faster than I am able and I know I just need to slow down. For now, my New Year's plans are to:

1. Join the Ward Choir (I've been waiting for the "perfect" timing and I think this is as good as it's going to get)

2. Finish writing my book... more details later. I actually have 3 book ideas, but I've decided to focus on one this year and see if I can actually get it published.

3. Take better care of myself.

4. AND take Ballroom Dance lessons with Zeke! (Did I tell you that was his Christmas present to me?) I was so excited, I started crying when I opened the envelope.

Happy New Year!!

I forgot to add a scripture to go with this post (this is one of my goals for the year as well):

Jacob 6:12 says, "O be wise; what can I say more?"

WA-HOO!!!!

You know the movie "I.Q." with Meg Ryan and Tim Robbins? I love that movie.

What makes me go "Wa-hoo?"
Zeke just finished his Bachelor's Degree yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(but you need to say it like Albert Einstein/Walter Matthau: "vah-hoo!")

He has been in school off and on since before we got married almost 15 years ago! He has been in school continuously for the last 3 years! And he's been working full-time. I am so proud of him!
I am so glad he's done.

It will be so nice to have him back. Poor guy, the last 3 years have been HARD. When he is home (which is rare), he's either so tired he can't keep his eyes open, or so spacey that he can't function. I don't know how we've done it all... and during most of the last 3 years, I was serving as the YW President in our ward and Zeke was the Stake YM President. CRAZY!

I feel like this will be a new chapter. Heck, a new BOOK!! Zeke asked me what I want for Christmas... I told him, "I want to go to the temple with YOU! and I want you to watch the kids so I can do whatever I want for at least 3 or 4 hours all by myself!" Yeah, that is what I want.

YAY!!!! We are so blessed. Heavenly Father has given us miracles (great and small) all along the way to make this possible. I am so thankful. It really is a miracle!

I love this quote: "To live through a period of stress and sorrow with another human being creates a bond which nothing seems able to break." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Graduate he did!!

P.S. I just realized this is my 100th post!!! Hooray! Happy 100th! What a great post too :)

Plastic Surgery...I triple dog dare you!

Going under the knife? Several years ago, someone told me I should have plastic surgery. They said to me right in front of a crowd of people I have a "big nose" and I should get a nose job. Now, I'm not going to lie to you... it literally destroyed any bit of self-esteem I might have had and it took me a long time to get over it. I've always been self-conscious about my nose.

According to the world's standards, I might have a less than "perfect" nose. But then again, I've always been a bit of a non-conformist when it comes to the ways of the world. Looking back, I'm actually thankful I had that experience. It just made me all the more stubborn and firmly resolved that I would NEVER change my nose. God gave me my nose for a reason and I truly believe that. It's me. Zeke says I look "exotic" (I love you, babe!) I think I look like I'm from a foreign country or maybe like one of those old Greek statues...
maybe?... anyway...I'm not actually talking about that kind of plastic surgery.
I'm SO not into that!

I'm talking about something infinitely more important, something that can bring lasting happiness, peace of mind, and financial security. I'm talking about the kind of plastic surgery that Elder Holland and so many other Prophets and Apostles have referred to:

Cutting up our credit cards!!

Elder Holland: "As part of this general financial caution we encourage, if necessary, plastic surgery for both husband and wife. This is a very painless operation: Just cut up your credit cards. Unless you are prepared to use those cards under the strictest of conditions and restraints, you should not use them at all—at least not at high rates of interest. No convenience known to modern man has so jeopardized the financial stability of families, especially young struggling families, like the credit card.

Just as your religion should protect you against immorality and violence and other family tragedies, it will protect you against financial despair as well, if you will let it. Pay your tithes and offerings first. No greater financial protection can be offered you. Then simply budget what is left the rest of that month. Make do with what you have. Do without. Say no. You can hold your head high even if your clothing is not the most stylish nor your home the most regal. You can hold it high for the simple reason that it is not bent or bowed with the relentless burden of debt."

As I was serving in the Young Women organization, I felt very inspired and prompted to complete my Personal Progress. I really wanted to get "My Young Women" excited about Personal Progress. I thought the best way to do that would be by example. Well, it was an awesome life-changing experience to say the least!

One of the requirements was to "live within my means" for 3 months. OUCH! I instantly thought, "yeah right, that's only possible for single people without children, people who aren't in school, people who don't have high-deductible health insurance like we do" and on and on (I was making excuses). I seriously didn't think I'd be able to do it! But I knew if I wanted to receive my YW Recognition Award and show the girls "if I can do it, you can do it" then I would need to follow through and complete every part of the personal progress honestly and to the best of my ability.

So I gave it a try... I talked to Zeke and he was totally on board with it. I have always been the one "in charge" of the money (yeah, no pressure whatsoever, right?) I said a prayer (actually hundreds) and asked Heavenly Father to help us "live within our means" and to have faith. We cut up our credit cards and more importantly for us, we stopped using those stupid convenience checks they send in the mail. Oh, we always needed something. And even now, I have a list a foot long of things we need, but the question is: do we really need them right now? My perspective and the way I do things have completely changed. I have learned a great deal of patience and self-control.

Now I'm going to be honest, this has been one of the most-challenging and stressful years of my life (mostly because I'm suffering the consequences of past choices) but at the same time, this year has been one of THE most strengthening, miracle filled, spiritual, joyful/"peace of mind" kind of years I have ever had. Ever.

Since August 2009, we have not used a credit card for ANYTHING. Not once!
It has brought us the greatest blessings we have ever experienced. The continual peace and confidence we have felt is worth so much more than any fleeting thrill of buying something. We have changed how we do things and gone without some things people think they can't, but we have made our own fun and I think it's brought us closer as a family and made us more grateful for the little things in life. It's been hard, but with Heavenly Father's help, we've done it.
It IS possible!

Now, I know you're thinking of a million "reasons" why you need a credit card. Until last year, I was always making excuses, always justifying our use of credit cards (Zeke's still in school, our insurance premium went up, Zeke got another pay cut at work, the water heater is broken, the dishwasher is broken, doctor bills, Christmas presents, school pictures, or maybe I just don't feel like making dinner, etc, etc, etc.)

What I realized is that all of these excuses are really just a lack of Faith. You may think I'm simple minded, maybe I am, but the Lord has said he would provide for our needs (see 3 Ne. 13:28-34). Do we believe Him? Do we let Him help us? Or do we trust in the "arm of flesh" (see 2 Ne. 4:34) and swipe that little card every time we need an extra $20 for groceries, a tank of gas, or even a new water heater? Zeke and I were laughing about that analogy of trusting in the "arm of flesh"... I'm picturing my flabby "relief society arm" jiggling every time I swipe a credit card through that little machine... it makes me laugh every time!

After getting rid of all of our credit cards and truly living within our means for over a year, I came across a scripture that I don't recall ever reading before (maybe I wasn't ready for it yet): D&C 111:5: "Concern not yourselves about your debts, for I will give you power to pay them." To me, this was Heavenly Father telling me, okay, you're doing your part and now I can do mine. Good job!
I feel a greater peace than I have ever known in my life! I feel confident when I say my prayers and ask Heavenly Father to bless us and specifically to help us financially. I know we are doing our part and He will do His part. (see D&C 82:10)

I've realized that "living within our means" is a gospel principle we can be perfect at. Just like paying tithing, it is something we can either do or NOT do. There's no gray area (not anymore at least). I feel peace knowing that I am being obedient. I feel so grateful when I recognize the blessings that come pouring in because of my choice to "live within my means". We have been overwhelmed and amazed at the incredible miracles that have taken place in our lives this last year or so. Everything began to fall into place as soon as we took that leap of faith, got out our credit cards and did some serious plastic surgery!

Say a prayer and get out your scissors -- I triple dog dare you!!

"If you opt for any other way of life or try to live only the parts of the gospel that seem convenient, such a choice will cheat you of the full, resplendent joy and happiness for which you were designed by our loving Father in Heaven and His Son." -- Marcus B. Nash of the Quorum of the Seventy

Blessings Fulfilled

A couple weeks ago, Zoe wanted to do a Fashion Show and try on lots of clothes and take pictures. She wanted me to be one of her models too. (if I get crazy enough, I'll post some of those pictures too) We had a lot of fun. I got out my wedding dress and Zoe and Kaia both tried it on and we took some pictures.... now, I don't know about you, but if you've ever seen your sweet little daughter wearing your wedding dress and dancing with your wonderful husband/her Daddy.... ok, it makes me get teary-eyed just thinking about it. Anyway, I just look at them and think how blessed we are. The choices Zeke and I have made to be married in the temple and to teach our children about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love them so much and I want them to have eternal happiness. I am so thankful for the knowledge we have been given.

Well, it's been a week since my last post and my Dad is doing so much better. He was able to come home yesterday. There have been SO many people praying for him... Thank You! There is great power in prayer. My parents have been through a lot last week, but a good friend of mine, Peggy, said, "Well, did it bring you closer together as a family?" (yes, it did) "Then it was worth it." Wow, it's amazing to look back and see just how true that is. I love and appreciate my parents and family so much more.

And! on Friday, we paid Zeke's tuition for Fall Semester.... what an amazing summer this has been. All of the sacrifice and saving have been well worth it. He will start school on August 30th and will graduate in December!! This December...4 months away!
And just a side note -- we budgeted about $200 for Zeke's books and they ended up costing $70 - TOTAL. The blessings just keep coming and our home and hearts are overflowing. (the home, literally! I never thought we could squish 6 people in here, but we are so blessed!)

Ask and ye shall receive...or Tender Mercies...or After the trial of your faith comes the blessings...or Happy Dance?

Too many great title possibilities for this post..

Guess what?! We sold our table. I am so relieved and excited. $700!! It's so amazing to me, because on Saturday, we had nothing. My last post talked about spending a $5 rebate check for groceries. So yesterday I had to figure out a way to get apple juice and bread.

Let me back up. We had a darling couple come look at our table a few weeks ago. They really liked it. The next day, however, they called to say they weren't sure if they could buy it yet, because the husband's work hours had just been cut. I was kinda bummed, but they said please give us until the 1st of August and we'll see what we can do. I was satisfied with that, because tuition isn't due until the 16th of August and I knew it was in the Lord's hands.

So early yesterday morning, the husband calls and says he has put some money away and wants to surprise his wife with the table. I was excited. Then, he said, Can I bring the money over this morning? (uh, HECK YEAH!!) I was ecstatic!!! And he did. CASH! I am so excited for his wife too, what a sweet hubby to plan a surprise like that.

It makes me think of another great quote... I can't find the exact one (I can't spend all morning looking for it), but it's something like this:(this is from a New Era article) "God usually answers our prayers through someone who has resources and talents we lack." Wow, this sweet husband, Kasey, was an answer to our prayers. I had to refrain myself from hugging him!! Why did he pay us yesterday? The Lord is taking care of us.

Now, I must confess, after the kids and I went to the free lunch at the school yesterday, we went to the store and got a few groceries... and I bought everyone a doughnut of their choice... NOT from the day old rack either :) LIFE IS SO GOOD.

Busy Bee

Here's some pictures of our trip to Bear Lake last weekend. The water's really high this year, not much beach area. But we had a great time anyway.


Zoe and Beck are in our little cubby shelf thing by the garage... the kids love to climb up there.


And also a picture of Zoe's Halloween dress she's been begging me to make ever since we found the fabric in my storage box a few months ago (it's not going to be that long) She's going to be the Blue Fairy from "Pinocchio". (The fabric we already have is blue, so that's what I suggested she could be, aren't I sneaky?)

Well, I don't know what's up with me, I've just been busy busy lately... I've got this sewing bug and even a yard work bug and cleaning bug (Man, I must be sick, because this is NOT like me!) Maybe I'm finally recovering some energy after being released in May from almost 4 years in Young Women's. If I were pregnant (NO!!!! I'm NOT!) -- I would call all of this energy "nesting" I suppose. It feels good to get a bunch of little things done that I've been neglecting forever and in some cases I've even forgot about. I found two cute shirts of mine in my sewing basket today that have needed mending for so long... I forgot I had them! Wow!! It feels like I have new clothes.

However, I just haven't really been in the mood to blog. Too many thoughts and feelings I don't really want to share with anyone. Too many crazy things going on. I want to be positive and share good things. I've always been a bit of a non-conformist type person. Not quite sure if that's the right word, but I just kinda do my own thing. Every once in awhile I'll meet someone who doesn't mind that about me, but usually people just can't handle it. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm a complete nutter, but what the hey, I have an awesome husband and 4 healthy children to love me anyway. Thanks to my friend, Jill, for the quote: "There is pleasure, sure, in being mad, which none but madmen know!" -John Dryden

We are looking forward to Zeke finishing school in December! We're still hoping and praying for enough money to pay his tuition. We don't have all of it yet, but I have a very good feeling whenever I think or pray about it. I know something will happen to help us get him through school. I'm so thankful for the companionship of the Holy Ghost. It is so wonderful not to be stressed about it.

I also wanted to share another great reminder of the power of prayer and faith. Well, just to set up the story, Zeke gets paid on the 5th and the 20th of every month. Friday was the 16th and well, we're out of money (no biggie, it's just the way it is right now). I've got plenty of food in the house, but I looked at some recipes and thought if I just had some egg noodles, carrots, and mozzarella cheese, I could put together some nice meals until Tuesday. (not those things together necessarily) So, I'm a very straight forward person when it comes to prayer. I knelt down and asked Heavenly Father if I could come up with just enough money for those things I would be fine until payday. Later that day, I went to get the mail and guess what?! Yep, there in the mailbox was a $5 rebate check from a rebate I had sent in months ago and forgot about. Is it a coincidence that it arrived on Friday? I think not!! Jeffrey R. Holland said, "A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous." Thank YOU very much... I went to the store today and got exactly what I wanted. (and free candy for the kids from the bank! SCORE!!) I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers.

I also like another quote from Mary Poppins, "Enough is as good as a feast." I am truly thankful for the desire we have had to follow the prophet and "live within our means". It has been a great blessing in our family. We are so happy for little things and we are so good at not spending money. Try it, it's harder than you think, but I promise you that the peace that comes with it is priceless!

I'm rambling... I should be going through my Primary lesson..... ok, that's why I've got all of this energy to do OTHER things... it's called PROCRASTINATION... now if that's not the best motivator to do anything but the thing you're supposed to be doing, I don't know what is :) Hope you're all having a FABULOUS summer!

Write it down and Tell someone!

I've always been taught that when you make a goal for yourself, you should: "write it down and tell someone" so you'll have a better chance of accomplishing that goal. Today, I'm writing it down and telling all of you one of our goals for the summer. Zeke and I need to save $1,800.00 by August 20th for his Fall tuition. We had over $2,000.00 in savings from our tax returns in February, but that was quickly gobbled up by replacing the rear brakes on the van, a new dishwasher, and medical expenses for all of us in one way or another. So the game is on! Here we go! I'll keep track of our progress....