I.M. Bummed

Hey friends... I was doing so well this year. I got my taxes filed two weeks ago and I've been *not-so-patiently* waiting for our refund. Nothing HUGE, but definitely some extra money. Well, after almost 16 years of marriage and four children, somewhere along the way I'm afraid to say I've lost my mind. My capacity to remember things and be organized. It is GONE.
So I was really shocked and dismayed to find ANOTHER TAX DOCUMENT in my mailbox last week. You see, Zeke graduated from school in December 2010. He's had ONE W-2 since forever. (Well, like 10 years!) And I completely FORGOT that last Spring he taught a class at Utah State. It was SO normal for him to be there, I forgot he was being the TEACHER for 5 months and getting PAID for it. So yada, yada, yada... It has now become necessary for me to ammend our tax return.

No big deal. I did it online. It was quite easy. 20 minutes, maybe.

However, $885 of the refund I'm hoping will be deposited tomorrow will have to be returned to the IRS by April 15th.... :( I.M. Bummed. That is all.

In other news... we have to get our truck registered by tomorrow and Zeke just informed me tonight that the back tail-lights don't work. Lovely.

I am determined NOT to be discouraged! Just bummed....

Nothing fun or frivolous planned, just planning to pay off some bills....

bleh.

I dare you!

Okay, I know it's not unique for me to say I have been thinking about goals and resolutions the past week or so...

I also told you in my last post about my
"Word of the Year" idea from my friend, Tawnya.

The word I have chosen for 2012 is:

DISCIPLINE

For the month of January (especially after Christmas) I want to focus my discipline on our finances; specifically, my spending habits. Now, we don't have a lot of "extra" money or disposable income or whatever you want to call it, but we do have a lot of debt.
Student loans, car loan, medical bills, mortgage, etc.

I would really like to focus on paying down our debt as much as I can.
This is going to take DISCIPLINE.

I was standing in the shower thinking this morning (thank you, Jane's Addiction, it really is the best place to think.) I was trying to decide what to wear for church... I realized I had SO many decisions... the black and white flower skirt, the brown skirt, the red and brown paisley skirt, the purple and silver striped skirt (I know!), the green ruffle skirt...suddenly I had a thought,
"I am SPOILED ROTTEN!"
I realized all of these skirts I bought sometime in 2011...
and I'm only mentioning the "Fall/Winter" skirts!

Now, just to excuse myself a little, all of these skirts were purchased from a thrift store where none of them cost more than $4 each, but still! Does any person actually NEED that many clothes, let alone skirts? (I said NEED...) I realized when Zeke got his new job last October, my clothing obsession I've fought so hard to purge from my system instantly returned (mysteriously...). I've been trying to stick within our budget and ease my guilty conscience by shopping at the thrift store, but looking in my closet this morning, I realized I have a problem.

Isn't that the first step to recovery from any addiction --
admitting you have a problem?
Well, I'm admitting it.
(I'm also admitting that my closet is full to bursting)
I also was thinking about DISCIPLINE and how I can apply it to my (ahem) "problem" and also benefit our financial situation.

I love the quote, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."
Sometimes I'm good at this;
I can be really good when I have to, but other times...
I buy 3 pairs of shoes just because I can't decide which pair I like the best...
(Seriously, how could I choose JUST ONE? They were *only* $6.00 a pair!)

So I'm still in the shower, when I got an idea. An awful idea.

The "Shopaholic" got a wonderful, *awful* idea!

What if I make a goal not to buy ANY clothes, shoes, jewelry, scarves, whatever for myself for one whole YEAR!!

NOTHING FOR ONE YEAR.
Sounds crazy, huh? Well, I like a good challenge!
I really want to see if I can do it -- if I can discipline myself.
Now, I have allotted myself one "new" pair of jeans next fall and one new white shirt for layering -- those are things that actually need to be replaced, but other than that.... NOTHING!!!!!

Who's in? I DARE YOU!

The money I would have spent -- estimating what I spent last year and when I see something I like and "JUST SAY NO" -- sometimes I'll pick something up and audibly tell myself, "NO!!" and put it back on the rack -- yes, as a matter of fact, I do get strange looks all the time -- I'm going to put that money into a special savings account and see how much I have one year from today.
I heard a quote somewhere:
"Our success in this life depends on our ability to discipline ourselves."(ouch!)

I also heard a quote today at church that really struck a chord with me:
"If we are willing to do what needs to be done, it will get done."(OUCH!)
So pretty much, it's up to me...

I really want to make a HUGE dent in our debt this year and this is just one way I can contribute and practice controlling my spending habits.

Here's me and Beck on Christmas: Zeke got me a new hood/light for my aquarium... it was the only thing on my wish list! :) My other hood has been broken for quite a few years now. Yes, I'm a nerd! But I'm a going to be a debt-free nerd... now if I can just stop buying fish!

Surviving your budget during the Holiday Season: 101

I've been thinking a lot about saving money. It's always on my mind. We live on a pretty tight budget and depending on the month it's even tighter. Last week, my friend, Stephanie, over at Diapers and Divinity, was asking for advice about sticking to a grocery budget. (Advice? I'm great at advice... *20 points to the first person to name that movie quote!) Anyway, I flooded her comment feed with 3 or 4 long paragraphs about what I do to save money and still feed my kids.

I don't know if it helped anyone, but I was going through my budget this morning for the rest of the month and I noticed there is another thing I often do when money is tight. We had some "extra expenses" come up last week (Okay, Zeke and I were really naughty and went out to dinner on Friday and then, we bought some new snow sleds for the kids and a Christmas gift for Beck that I've been waiting to go on sale!) Anyway, now I need to "find" some more money for our Thanksgiving trip this week. I just felt like I should share this with all of you and hopefully it can help someone.

Our new sleds (the kids had so much fun on Saturday it was worth it):

Whenever this happens, whatever the unexpected expense may be: doctor co-pays, extra prescriptions, birthday gifts for your children's friends (Oi!), money to fix the siding on your house because your 13 year old didn't realize a lacrosse ball would damage it (Really?), etc. I look at the bills I have for that paycheck and see what I can MOVE to the next paycheck. You're thinking, what?! Maybe all of you already know this? Yeah, I know, I am no financial wizard and we are not wealthy in any way, but we are trying to live within our means, get out of debt, not use credit cards, and still pay our bills and have money for all of the expenses involved with raising four children, owning two cats, and one house and ALL that goes along with that! (Breathe!)

Before you swipe that credit card:

Here are some crazy ideas that just might work!

So, I have learned (by calling and feeling really dumb, but you never know until you ask) that several creditors and companies will let you skip a payment or move it up a few days until you get paid again to help you have the extra you need to make it until the next paycheck, sometimes with no late fees or penalties! Many companies have a GRACE period on your payment -- meaning if your payment is due on the 30th of the month, you might not actually have to pay until the 5th of the next month. They don't always tell you, but you can ask. Our car payment is like this.

Maybe all of these companies are going to get angry with me for publicly sharing their "secret", but I don't think they will. Everyone I have called to ask for help has been very nice. All they can do is say no, right? FYI: Credit card companies are not like this, they are not nice and not willing to help you. (That is just from my experience.) Credit card companies are EVIL.

But here are some places that have been great for us:

• America First Credit Union
• Allstate Insurance Company
• Hospitals and Doctor's Offices
• Gas and Utility Companies
• Nelnet (student loans), Yes, it's true!
• Green Tree
  

For example, this is what I did this morning: I adjusted my budget (I go over my budget EVERY day) and found that I needed another $100 or so to make it to the next paycheck. I don't think I could stretch our groceries that far this month, so I called Allstate to ask them if I could move our payment to next month and then, I would make a double payment. (*Now, you actually have to have enough from your next check to make this payment, so be careful before you promise that you'll pay them -- I don't think they would like you to CONTINUE to skip your payments.)

Anyway, they said SURE! (I knew they would, they've helped us before) That is $80 less I have to pay this check and $80 MORE in my pocket. I know I can squeeze at least $20 or so from the rest of my budget to make up the difference.

Also, we have our car payment through America First Credit Union (AFCU). I LOVE them! We have been with them since 1999. I'm sure other credit unions are just as great, I just haven't had any experience with them. Oh, ENT Federal Credit Union in Colorado was also great. Anyway, AFCU lets us waive one payment a year with no fee or penalty! Waive, as in SKIP completely and not have to pay double the next month! I know this isn't helping pay down our debt, but sometimes you have to deal with the here and now. This has been an absolute lifesaver during Christmas.

I hope all of you can get through the holidays debt-free and stress-free. I am all about SIMPLE everything. Look at what you can cut out. Last year, we didn't even do Christmas cards and I'm not sure if we will this year either. (Oh, the horror!!) I do love to spoil my kids, but I hope it's to a minimum where they are still excited and grateful about it, not just tossing another gift over their shoulder as they look for the next one to open. I truly believe it is possible to live within our means and still have all that we "need" (that is very subjective) and pay our bills so our credit score is still good.

I saw a really cool bumper sticker on a car the other day and I've decided I "need" one. It said: "Debt is normal. Be weird!" This is what we are working towards and hoping to achieve someday. I love it! People try to HAVE so much and DO so much -- I just want to have a BIG savings account and peace of mind AND when the time is right, Zeke and I want to go on a trip somewhere and pay for it with CASH!!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, THIS is what I really want for Christmas!! Thanks, Tawnya! Gosh, only $55? What a deal! Where in the WORLD would you wear those?! (Actually, don't answer that -- I don't really want to know.)

Plastic Surgery...I triple dog dare you!

Going under the knife? Several years ago, someone told me I should have plastic surgery. They said to me right in front of a crowd of people I have a "big nose" and I should get a nose job. Now, I'm not going to lie to you... it literally destroyed any bit of self-esteem I might have had and it took me a long time to get over it. I've always been self-conscious about my nose.

According to the world's standards, I might have a less than "perfect" nose. But then again, I've always been a bit of a non-conformist when it comes to the ways of the world. Looking back, I'm actually thankful I had that experience. It just made me all the more stubborn and firmly resolved that I would NEVER change my nose. God gave me my nose for a reason and I truly believe that. It's me. Zeke says I look "exotic" (I love you, babe!) I think I look like I'm from a foreign country or maybe like one of those old Greek statues...
maybe?... anyway...I'm not actually talking about that kind of plastic surgery.
I'm SO not into that!

I'm talking about something infinitely more important, something that can bring lasting happiness, peace of mind, and financial security. I'm talking about the kind of plastic surgery that Elder Holland and so many other Prophets and Apostles have referred to:

Cutting up our credit cards!!

Elder Holland: "As part of this general financial caution we encourage, if necessary, plastic surgery for both husband and wife. This is a very painless operation: Just cut up your credit cards. Unless you are prepared to use those cards under the strictest of conditions and restraints, you should not use them at all—at least not at high rates of interest. No convenience known to modern man has so jeopardized the financial stability of families, especially young struggling families, like the credit card.

Just as your religion should protect you against immorality and violence and other family tragedies, it will protect you against financial despair as well, if you will let it. Pay your tithes and offerings first. No greater financial protection can be offered you. Then simply budget what is left the rest of that month. Make do with what you have. Do without. Say no. You can hold your head high even if your clothing is not the most stylish nor your home the most regal. You can hold it high for the simple reason that it is not bent or bowed with the relentless burden of debt."

As I was serving in the Young Women organization, I felt very inspired and prompted to complete my Personal Progress. I really wanted to get "My Young Women" excited about Personal Progress. I thought the best way to do that would be by example. Well, it was an awesome life-changing experience to say the least!

One of the requirements was to "live within my means" for 3 months. OUCH! I instantly thought, "yeah right, that's only possible for single people without children, people who aren't in school, people who don't have high-deductible health insurance like we do" and on and on (I was making excuses). I seriously didn't think I'd be able to do it! But I knew if I wanted to receive my YW Recognition Award and show the girls "if I can do it, you can do it" then I would need to follow through and complete every part of the personal progress honestly and to the best of my ability.

So I gave it a try... I talked to Zeke and he was totally on board with it. I have always been the one "in charge" of the money (yeah, no pressure whatsoever, right?) I said a prayer (actually hundreds) and asked Heavenly Father to help us "live within our means" and to have faith. We cut up our credit cards and more importantly for us, we stopped using those stupid convenience checks they send in the mail. Oh, we always needed something. And even now, I have a list a foot long of things we need, but the question is: do we really need them right now? My perspective and the way I do things have completely changed. I have learned a great deal of patience and self-control.

Now I'm going to be honest, this has been one of the most-challenging and stressful years of my life (mostly because I'm suffering the consequences of past choices) but at the same time, this year has been one of THE most strengthening, miracle filled, spiritual, joyful/"peace of mind" kind of years I have ever had. Ever.

Since August 2009, we have not used a credit card for ANYTHING. Not once!
It has brought us the greatest blessings we have ever experienced. The continual peace and confidence we have felt is worth so much more than any fleeting thrill of buying something. We have changed how we do things and gone without some things people think they can't, but we have made our own fun and I think it's brought us closer as a family and made us more grateful for the little things in life. It's been hard, but with Heavenly Father's help, we've done it.
It IS possible!

Now, I know you're thinking of a million "reasons" why you need a credit card. Until last year, I was always making excuses, always justifying our use of credit cards (Zeke's still in school, our insurance premium went up, Zeke got another pay cut at work, the water heater is broken, the dishwasher is broken, doctor bills, Christmas presents, school pictures, or maybe I just don't feel like making dinner, etc, etc, etc.)

What I realized is that all of these excuses are really just a lack of Faith. You may think I'm simple minded, maybe I am, but the Lord has said he would provide for our needs (see 3 Ne. 13:28-34). Do we believe Him? Do we let Him help us? Or do we trust in the "arm of flesh" (see 2 Ne. 4:34) and swipe that little card every time we need an extra $20 for groceries, a tank of gas, or even a new water heater? Zeke and I were laughing about that analogy of trusting in the "arm of flesh"... I'm picturing my flabby "relief society arm" jiggling every time I swipe a credit card through that little machine... it makes me laugh every time!

After getting rid of all of our credit cards and truly living within our means for over a year, I came across a scripture that I don't recall ever reading before (maybe I wasn't ready for it yet): D&C 111:5: "Concern not yourselves about your debts, for I will give you power to pay them." To me, this was Heavenly Father telling me, okay, you're doing your part and now I can do mine. Good job!
I feel a greater peace than I have ever known in my life! I feel confident when I say my prayers and ask Heavenly Father to bless us and specifically to help us financially. I know we are doing our part and He will do His part. (see D&C 82:10)

I've realized that "living within our means" is a gospel principle we can be perfect at. Just like paying tithing, it is something we can either do or NOT do. There's no gray area (not anymore at least). I feel peace knowing that I am being obedient. I feel so grateful when I recognize the blessings that come pouring in because of my choice to "live within my means". We have been overwhelmed and amazed at the incredible miracles that have taken place in our lives this last year or so. Everything began to fall into place as soon as we took that leap of faith, got out our credit cards and did some serious plastic surgery!

Say a prayer and get out your scissors -- I triple dog dare you!!

"If you opt for any other way of life or try to live only the parts of the gospel that seem convenient, such a choice will cheat you of the full, resplendent joy and happiness for which you were designed by our loving Father in Heaven and His Son." -- Marcus B. Nash of the Quorum of the Seventy

Busy Bee

Here's some pictures of our trip to Bear Lake last weekend. The water's really high this year, not much beach area. But we had a great time anyway.


Zoe and Beck are in our little cubby shelf thing by the garage... the kids love to climb up there.


And also a picture of Zoe's Halloween dress she's been begging me to make ever since we found the fabric in my storage box a few months ago (it's not going to be that long) She's going to be the Blue Fairy from "Pinocchio". (The fabric we already have is blue, so that's what I suggested she could be, aren't I sneaky?)

Well, I don't know what's up with me, I've just been busy busy lately... I've got this sewing bug and even a yard work bug and cleaning bug (Man, I must be sick, because this is NOT like me!) Maybe I'm finally recovering some energy after being released in May from almost 4 years in Young Women's. If I were pregnant (NO!!!! I'm NOT!) -- I would call all of this energy "nesting" I suppose. It feels good to get a bunch of little things done that I've been neglecting forever and in some cases I've even forgot about. I found two cute shirts of mine in my sewing basket today that have needed mending for so long... I forgot I had them! Wow!! It feels like I have new clothes.

However, I just haven't really been in the mood to blog. Too many thoughts and feelings I don't really want to share with anyone. Too many crazy things going on. I want to be positive and share good things. I've always been a bit of a non-conformist type person. Not quite sure if that's the right word, but I just kinda do my own thing. Every once in awhile I'll meet someone who doesn't mind that about me, but usually people just can't handle it. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm a complete nutter, but what the hey, I have an awesome husband and 4 healthy children to love me anyway. Thanks to my friend, Jill, for the quote: "There is pleasure, sure, in being mad, which none but madmen know!" -John Dryden

We are looking forward to Zeke finishing school in December! We're still hoping and praying for enough money to pay his tuition. We don't have all of it yet, but I have a very good feeling whenever I think or pray about it. I know something will happen to help us get him through school. I'm so thankful for the companionship of the Holy Ghost. It is so wonderful not to be stressed about it.

I also wanted to share another great reminder of the power of prayer and faith. Well, just to set up the story, Zeke gets paid on the 5th and the 20th of every month. Friday was the 16th and well, we're out of money (no biggie, it's just the way it is right now). I've got plenty of food in the house, but I looked at some recipes and thought if I just had some egg noodles, carrots, and mozzarella cheese, I could put together some nice meals until Tuesday. (not those things together necessarily) So, I'm a very straight forward person when it comes to prayer. I knelt down and asked Heavenly Father if I could come up with just enough money for those things I would be fine until payday. Later that day, I went to get the mail and guess what?! Yep, there in the mailbox was a $5 rebate check from a rebate I had sent in months ago and forgot about. Is it a coincidence that it arrived on Friday? I think not!! Jeffrey R. Holland said, "A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous." Thank YOU very much... I went to the store today and got exactly what I wanted. (and free candy for the kids from the bank! SCORE!!) I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers.

I also like another quote from Mary Poppins, "Enough is as good as a feast." I am truly thankful for the desire we have had to follow the prophet and "live within our means". It has been a great blessing in our family. We are so happy for little things and we are so good at not spending money. Try it, it's harder than you think, but I promise you that the peace that comes with it is priceless!

I'm rambling... I should be going through my Primary lesson..... ok, that's why I've got all of this energy to do OTHER things... it's called PROCRASTINATION... now if that's not the best motivator to do anything but the thing you're supposed to be doing, I don't know what is :) Hope you're all having a FABULOUS summer!

Whirlwind

That is the word to describe the last week or so... and right now I'm in the eye of the storm. Last Tuesday Zeke's Aunt and Uncle came to visit, Friday through Sunday Zeke's Mom came to visit, and on Sunday his sister and her family came to visit. It was good to see everyone, just busy and a little crazy. When we have company, my kids act totally crazy..... I'm always telling them something like, "I would never let you do that, you know that's a rule, so why are you doing it when Grandma is here?" They do things they know are not ok with us.... they just seem to lose it when company's here.... and because of that, so do I. But we did have fun, we went to the Summerfest, had a picnic at Merlin Olsen Park, and ate yummy food.

Just when I thought I could breathe a sigh of relief on Sunday, I was asked to speak in sacrament THIS Sunday..... it's not a major big deal, but I get so stressed... it's just always in the back of my mind ALL week.

And then I really did a dumb thing on Monday.... I'll tell you more later as it all unfolds.... oh brother, Why do I always do such dumb things? Will I ever learn?

Anyway, Zeke finished my "little" kitchen remodel for about $50 (not bad). He is so good to me, I'm not sure if I deserved this. He put a lot of time into it. I love his pose right here.... thanks, honey. The kitchen workstation thingy is so awesome.... Zeke and I can cook together and not be in each other's way now.

Here's the front of it. It's not fixed to the floor so we can move it wherever we need to. :)

Oh and I'm thinking about selling our table and chairs.... we are still not close to what we need for Zeke's tuition (after Gabe's ER visit and such). Anyway, if anyone is interested let me know. We got it new in November 2009. It's a dark walnut (almost black) counter-height table with 6 chairs and a bench that fits 2 or 3. The table has a built-in leaf in the bottom. Maybe $700? I'm thinking we'll just use our fold out table and chairs until tax returns next spring.... we've just got to get through to December.

My kids are so cute. Really. Considering how crazy this weekend was, they were so awesome! I am so proud of them. I just love to sit outside and watch them play together :) Life is good... and it will be much better after my talk is over on Sunday (I hope).

Ok, who called the Waaambulance?!

Me in my Mom's brown dryer during a crazy sleepover with my friends. (1992?)
This picture has absolutely nothing to do with my post, it just makes me laugh!

Today is one of those days... I have them every so often... too often lately... I wake up and feel off :( It's one of those days when I feel like the scripture about the Lord not tempting or trying us above that which we're able to bear is really making me wonder out loud, "Okay, do You really think I can bear all of this? because I'm not so sure..."

I feel so weak... maybe it's because Kaia has been sick all week and it's been very stressful, maybe it's because Zeke being in school for the last 4 years and pay cuts at work have made things very hard in the financial sense, maybe it's because I stayed up too late last night and wasted time watching most of a movie I didn't really enjoy, maybe it's because I'm having serious withdrawls from hanging out with the youth, maybe I just need some chocolate...

maybe I just don't have enough faith...... and yet, I just found a scripture (or two) that shines some light into this dreary day.....D&C 64:33-34 "Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days."

D&C 63:20 "Nevertheless he that endureth in faith and doeth my will, the same shall overcome."

I'm trying to be a good mother. I'm trying to stay home with my children. We're trying to "obtain as much education as possible" and live within our means and get out of debt (this is all a LOT harder than you might think, at least it is for me).

I keep thinking about Dory from Finding Nemo.... "just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

And a quote from Helen Keller, "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition and success achieved."

I also think of a great person, Dr. Ted Davis. He was our family doctor for over 6 years. He delivered Gabe. He now has Lou Gehrig's disease and had to quit practice right after Kaia was born because of it. I cannot begin to imagine what he has gone through. Dr. Noorda, (who is my OBGYN now), told me Dr. Davis ends all of his emails with the letters "I C B W". It stands for "It could be worse." WOW! for him to say that... I need to remember his example of faith and a positive attitude.

Whenever my friend, Barbara, would be in the midst of great stress and trials, she would just smile and simply say very confidently, "The Church is true!"

Well, The Church is true! And by the way, getting IN the dryer was the easy part.

Write it down and Tell someone!

I've always been taught that when you make a goal for yourself, you should: "write it down and tell someone" so you'll have a better chance of accomplishing that goal. Today, I'm writing it down and telling all of you one of our goals for the summer. Zeke and I need to save $1,800.00 by August 20th for his Fall tuition. We had over $2,000.00 in savings from our tax returns in February, but that was quickly gobbled up by replacing the rear brakes on the van, a new dishwasher, and medical expenses for all of us in one way or another. So the game is on! Here we go! I'll keep track of our progress....