If you could

If you could see my pile of dishes. I'm really glad you can't.

If you could be with my 3 year old and understand just how crazy and busy he is. He needs some serious Mom time.

If you could know how crazy my day was yesterday and even how much crazier my night was. It takes a village...

If you could understand what it's like to have a child with asthma and everything that goes along with that. She misses out on so much.
This time of year is hard.

If you could get inside my brain and see how much I really want to read all your blogs and make a fabulous post about Kaia's birthday.

Not today.

"No success can compensate for failure in the home." -- David O. McKay

Sneak Peek

Hello, blog friends... it's been awhile. Zeke and I were SO blessed to go out of town for the weekend sans children. (This is a first! Pathetic I know... but better late than never.)

I'll put up more pictures and write more later. Right now, I'm unpacking and dealing with two crazy children, hyped up on albuterol from a rough weekend with their asthma. Oh, my Mom is a saint!

Zeke and I had so much fun... here we are at dinner the first night:

NEXT POST: Anniversary Trip to Manti :)

P.S. Can I just tell you how much I love the temple?

Copy and Paste: My world with a smile...

I am being a slacker... I'm copying and pasting my FB statuses... "Life may take you where you least expect it -- always have faith that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Interesting thought... they say Faith is an action... at what point do you take action and make your life as close as possible to what you want? or do you just sit back and let things happen?" I was feeling sorry for myself this week... yeah, I'll go into it later - or NOT.

Today I'm thinking I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, because this is the world I am used to: "Well, this is my world: Kaia is sick with 104 degree fever and coughing, Zeke's been in New Jersey for work since Dec. 10th! and he's finally/hopefully coming home today, Beck is throwing crayons and making Zoe cry, but you know, I'm still happy, life is good. I'm so thankful for medicine to help Kaia and I'm so thankful for my Mom and for my neighbors who gave Kaia a Priesthood blessing last night. :)" Thank you Brother Sullivan and Brother Hale :)

Anyway, we had some Christmas travel plans... who knows with Kaia being sick. She has reactive airway disease and a small cold can give her pneumonia overnight. Really.
But what can I do at this point? We've actually been very blessed this fall... she hasn't been sick since Halloween and that IS amazing for her. It sounds crazy, but I actually feel at peace... we don't have to juggle schedules or trips yet... it all depends on when Kaia is feeling better. I believe Heavenly Father has a plan for us, for everything. Of course I don't want Kaia to be sick ever, but I just feel like there is a reason why she is right now.

Even though, Zeke has been gone, the kids and I have done pretty well. They have been very good helpers and we've had a lot of fun in spite of missing Dad. I had a special movie night with each of the 3 older kids, just one on one, they got to pick the movie... I think this will become a tradition. Not that I want Zeke to go out of town for work all the time, but hey, it is what it is and I'm trying to make the best of it. Netflix is awesome, by the way :)

Gabe's movie: "Fear of the Dark" what was I thinking?!?! Now, don't judge me, or if you do, don't tell me about it, because I don't care. I checked the movie on the internet movie data base and it's as "good" as a horror movie gets. We were both scared... but it was fun.

Zoe's movie: "The Princess Who Never Laughed" an old 80's "Faerie Tale Theater" It was actually pretty good. It had a good message -- YOU decide how you feel. Even though Howie Mandel was in this movie (and he had hair!) I still liked it. See, I got the message.

Kaia's movie: "Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief" Okay, she's really sick and I love her and I said she could choose... but seriously, I despise this movie! But I kept my thoughts to myself and she fell asleep before it was half way through (phew!!)

I had an awesome visit with my Mom yesterday on the phone. I don't know what I would do without her. REALLY. She is my therapy and my idol! At one point, my Mom said, "Now, I know this is the wrong advice and you probably shouldn't listen, but... and she went on to tell me anyway." I LOVE THIS WOMAN! Seriously, she is THE best! You are Grover and I am Percy. You are my protector, Mom.

I had an interesting road rage experience the other day... I was pulling out of the parking lot of the post office and planning to turn left (no light). It was VERY busy and well, it was going to take a minute. The guy behind me starts whaling on his horn like no tomorrow and I'm thinking, "What the heck?!" There is NO opening for me to pull out... I do NOT know what this guy is thinking. Whenever someone is being totally irrational like that, I like to think up a story to explain their rude behavior. Like, maybe this guy REALLY had to go to the bathroom or something!

Well, crazy I know, duh, but all of his honking just made me more stressed! NOT HELPING!! So when I was finally able to pull out onto the street, I was MAD. Yeah, I have a temper, and it's not good, but I'm trying to control it. I'm not one to EVER swear at drivers or make obscene gestures or anything, but I just HAD to yell something. So he was in the lane to my left, I unrolled my window, smiled my biggest smile, waved both my arms and yelled, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!" Anyway, it made me feel a lot better. Zoe was with me and she said, "Mom, you are WEIRD!" It was so worth it to see the confused look on his face. :)

Okay and now, I am so excited... my wonderful roommate/missionary who brought me to church with her way back when... she found my blog! Yay, Jen! I hope I'm not embarrassing you (ha ha ha) but this really made my day. We haven't been in touch for awhile and well, I love this girl!

Anyway, I need to go check on the kids... Beck is terrorizing everyone this morning (oh wait, that's normal too). It means I need to get off the computer. Merry Christmas to all... and I mean that in the most "non-angry will you please stop honking at me?" way. REALLY :)

Toothless, Hiccup, Costume Frenzy and "Sorry to all who know me"

(Photo of Toothless from Wikipedia)

Ok, I always say "this post will be quick" but really this one will.

We rented "How to train your dragon" Friday night from the Redbox. We absolutely LOVED LOVED LOVED it! So much! Yep, it's very cute. Toothless is the cutest dragon I have ever seen! He reminds me of our big gray cat, Caspian. I am so amazed at the technology and computer animation in this movie. The water and fire look real. Even though Kaia said that I'm Astrid and she's Toothless, I feel more like Hiccup; always messing up, always misunderstood. Kinda like "Flik" in "A Bug's Life". Another good movie by the way. My kids have been drawing dragons all weekend.

Halloween is coming too fast. My girls need their costumes finished by tomorrow for a party at TaVaci. I'm in trouble. Previous lack of funds and sickness have put the costumes on hold. So today is the day! Better get sewing! They are halfway done I suppose, but with a 2 year old.... yeah.

Lastly, for those of you that don't know me too well and again for those of you that do, I just want to say "Sorry for being weird" right up front. I honestly don't want to offend anyone, but I have been told I am a bit of a "germaphobe". It's not the germs I am afraid of ... it's the late night ER visits and hospital stays that aren't my favorite. Yeah, call me crazy, but they're not fun. You wouldn't like it either. I promise.

I haven't always been this way... Kaia got a simple little cold during Christmas 5 years ago and we had to stay overnight in the ER with her. Kaia and Beck both have "Reactive Airway Disease" or sometimes it's called "Illness-induced asthma" meaning, when most people get a little cold, they get bronchitis or pneumonia every time. REALLY. It's so scary to see them wheezing and gasping for air. They get really high fevers as well. Earlier this year, Kaia was so sick, her lips were blue. And when she was three years old, I was driving her to the ER and she actually lost consciousness.

Anyway, I have been ostracized and even made fun of by a few individuals for my behavior (like using hand sanitizer, not wanting to be around sick people, not shaking people's hands -- yeah, crazy I guess.) It's hard for other people to understand unless they KNOW what it's like. I don't think other people aren't clean. Everyone gets sick. Everyone has germs. I'm just trying to protect my children the best I can. And I hope everyone can understand that. I just always feel like I have to explain myself.

I feel bad because we had a movie night planned with some friends and I didn't know one of them was sick so I told Zeke we had to cancel. Sorry guys... it's not you, it's me. I promise.

My Mom goes through the same thing with my Dad with his COPD. She just says I can't worry about what people think, but it's hard not to. :(

Motrin, Steroids, Albuterol.... Oh my!!

My poor little Kaia Bear is sick... again. She has what my doctor calls "illness-induced asthma". Meaning, when most kids get a little cold or slight fever, Kaia usually gets pneumonia, really high fevers (usually over 103 degrees), and has to be on strong medication that helps her symptoms, but makes her feel yucky. It makes me so sad. She was so upset yesterday, because she missed school and they were going to make sock caterpillars. Kaia is just too cute to be so sick. :( She's doing a little better at the moment, but it's been a rough couple of days....