BEAUTIFUL

Why are women so concerned about how they look? 

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not. In one way or another all women are. I think there's a balance though, between being obsessed and not caring at all. The older I get, I don't care as much how I look, but even still, I have days when I don't feel as "beautiful" as I would like to.

 I attended a New Beginnings meeting last night (for young women ages 12-18) and several of the girls talked about how much they struggle with the way they look. One didn't like her clothes, another was teased a lot when she was younger about the way she looks and still struggles to overcome it, another said she actually thinks she's UGLY. So many young girls feel like they aren't pretty or good enough simply BECAUSE they aren't pretty enough. 

What's up with that? I think a lot of it comes from TV and movies. Everyone is SO perfect and beautiful and appear to be successful and happy only because they ARE beautiful. Somehow, beauty is tied to success and accomplishment, even though they don't really DO anything to show what they've accomplished, they only LOOK perfect. Does that make any sense?

The media is constantly telling us:

Perfect Beauty (fake or surgically enhanced or whatever) = 

Successful, desirable, "worthy", lovable, wanted, preferred, acceptable, better than.

Not Beautiful = unsuccessful, undesirable, not acceptable or worthy of love, less than. As in, don't even bother trying, your effort will not be measured on the same scale simply because you're not beautiful to begin with.

It made me really sad. I had trouble sleeping last night. I was sad, because I've had those same feelings before, and it's hard to overcome. Then, I felt even more upset because I don't want my girls to go through that. My girls are so precious and beautiful to me. I wonder if I'm doing all I can to help balance and even overcome the negative influence they receive from the media and society?

The funny thing is, I was really shocked to hear these young women say they look in the mirror and think they're ugly. For a minute, I actually thought they were joking. Let me say they are SO wrong in that belief. Each and every one of those young women are SO beautiful. Truly.

 Is it there faces? Their hair or eyes? Their clothes or shoes? Their smiles?

For me, this song is the answer. It helps me on days when I'm feeling down. It helps me everyday to remember what is most important and what I should be doing with my time here on earth.

It's appropriately titled, 

"Beautiful" 

from Cherie Call 

(she is one of my absolute favorite singers ever -- I love her lyrics.)

Look at all the signs, Look at all the shows

All the glamorous people who claim to know

What perfection is and what makes beauty stay

But when all the styles go out and the labels fade away

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful

Nothing burns as bright, nothing shimmers so

As the smile of a friend when hope is running low

And how your hand feels warm when you dry a tear

Love is still in fashion at the end of every year

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful

Even roses fade away in the snow

But the beauty in your heart can always grow

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful.

I was so thankful that each of those young women went on to say that Heavenly Father has helped them overcome these feelings of inadequacy. The Personal Progress program has helped them to feel like they are "more than just a pretty face" and what they do has value and meaning.

Another one of my favorite scriptures:

1 Samuel 16:7

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

I heard this years ago (supposedly it's from Audrey Hepburn):

For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
Walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things,
Have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed,
And redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
You will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
One for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

P.S. I found THE best quote to go with this post! It's from Elaine Dalton, 

"We are royal daughters of God and our value is not based on sensual appeal."

Plastic Surgery...I triple dog dare you!

Going under the knife? Several years ago, someone told me I should have plastic surgery. They said to me right in front of a crowd of people I have a "big nose" and I should get a nose job. Now, I'm not going to lie to you... it literally destroyed any bit of self-esteem I might have had and it took me a long time to get over it. I've always been self-conscious about my nose.

According to the world's standards, I might have a less than "perfect" nose. But then again, I've always been a bit of a non-conformist when it comes to the ways of the world. Looking back, I'm actually thankful I had that experience. It just made me all the more stubborn and firmly resolved that I would NEVER change my nose. God gave me my nose for a reason and I truly believe that. It's me. Zeke says I look "exotic" (I love you, babe!) I think I look like I'm from a foreign country or maybe like one of those old Greek statues...
maybe?... anyway...I'm not actually talking about that kind of plastic surgery.
I'm SO not into that!

I'm talking about something infinitely more important, something that can bring lasting happiness, peace of mind, and financial security. I'm talking about the kind of plastic surgery that Elder Holland and so many other Prophets and Apostles have referred to:

Cutting up our credit cards!!

Elder Holland: "As part of this general financial caution we encourage, if necessary, plastic surgery for both husband and wife. This is a very painless operation: Just cut up your credit cards. Unless you are prepared to use those cards under the strictest of conditions and restraints, you should not use them at all—at least not at high rates of interest. No convenience known to modern man has so jeopardized the financial stability of families, especially young struggling families, like the credit card.

Just as your religion should protect you against immorality and violence and other family tragedies, it will protect you against financial despair as well, if you will let it. Pay your tithes and offerings first. No greater financial protection can be offered you. Then simply budget what is left the rest of that month. Make do with what you have. Do without. Say no. You can hold your head high even if your clothing is not the most stylish nor your home the most regal. You can hold it high for the simple reason that it is not bent or bowed with the relentless burden of debt."

As I was serving in the Young Women organization, I felt very inspired and prompted to complete my Personal Progress. I really wanted to get "My Young Women" excited about Personal Progress. I thought the best way to do that would be by example. Well, it was an awesome life-changing experience to say the least!

One of the requirements was to "live within my means" for 3 months. OUCH! I instantly thought, "yeah right, that's only possible for single people without children, people who aren't in school, people who don't have high-deductible health insurance like we do" and on and on (I was making excuses). I seriously didn't think I'd be able to do it! But I knew if I wanted to receive my YW Recognition Award and show the girls "if I can do it, you can do it" then I would need to follow through and complete every part of the personal progress honestly and to the best of my ability.

So I gave it a try... I talked to Zeke and he was totally on board with it. I have always been the one "in charge" of the money (yeah, no pressure whatsoever, right?) I said a prayer (actually hundreds) and asked Heavenly Father to help us "live within our means" and to have faith. We cut up our credit cards and more importantly for us, we stopped using those stupid convenience checks they send in the mail. Oh, we always needed something. And even now, I have a list a foot long of things we need, but the question is: do we really need them right now? My perspective and the way I do things have completely changed. I have learned a great deal of patience and self-control.

Now I'm going to be honest, this has been one of the most-challenging and stressful years of my life (mostly because I'm suffering the consequences of past choices) but at the same time, this year has been one of THE most strengthening, miracle filled, spiritual, joyful/"peace of mind" kind of years I have ever had. Ever.

Since August 2009, we have not used a credit card for ANYTHING. Not once!
It has brought us the greatest blessings we have ever experienced. The continual peace and confidence we have felt is worth so much more than any fleeting thrill of buying something. We have changed how we do things and gone without some things people think they can't, but we have made our own fun and I think it's brought us closer as a family and made us more grateful for the little things in life. It's been hard, but with Heavenly Father's help, we've done it.
It IS possible!

Now, I know you're thinking of a million "reasons" why you need a credit card. Until last year, I was always making excuses, always justifying our use of credit cards (Zeke's still in school, our insurance premium went up, Zeke got another pay cut at work, the water heater is broken, the dishwasher is broken, doctor bills, Christmas presents, school pictures, or maybe I just don't feel like making dinner, etc, etc, etc.)

What I realized is that all of these excuses are really just a lack of Faith. You may think I'm simple minded, maybe I am, but the Lord has said he would provide for our needs (see 3 Ne. 13:28-34). Do we believe Him? Do we let Him help us? Or do we trust in the "arm of flesh" (see 2 Ne. 4:34) and swipe that little card every time we need an extra $20 for groceries, a tank of gas, or even a new water heater? Zeke and I were laughing about that analogy of trusting in the "arm of flesh"... I'm picturing my flabby "relief society arm" jiggling every time I swipe a credit card through that little machine... it makes me laugh every time!

After getting rid of all of our credit cards and truly living within our means for over a year, I came across a scripture that I don't recall ever reading before (maybe I wasn't ready for it yet): D&C 111:5: "Concern not yourselves about your debts, for I will give you power to pay them." To me, this was Heavenly Father telling me, okay, you're doing your part and now I can do mine. Good job!
I feel a greater peace than I have ever known in my life! I feel confident when I say my prayers and ask Heavenly Father to bless us and specifically to help us financially. I know we are doing our part and He will do His part. (see D&C 82:10)

I've realized that "living within our means" is a gospel principle we can be perfect at. Just like paying tithing, it is something we can either do or NOT do. There's no gray area (not anymore at least). I feel peace knowing that I am being obedient. I feel so grateful when I recognize the blessings that come pouring in because of my choice to "live within my means". We have been overwhelmed and amazed at the incredible miracles that have taken place in our lives this last year or so. Everything began to fall into place as soon as we took that leap of faith, got out our credit cards and did some serious plastic surgery!

Say a prayer and get out your scissors -- I triple dog dare you!!

"If you opt for any other way of life or try to live only the parts of the gospel that seem convenient, such a choice will cheat you of the full, resplendent joy and happiness for which you were designed by our loving Father in Heaven and His Son." -- Marcus B. Nash of the Quorum of the Seventy