Here's the skinny...

NO, this isn't Cindy Brady. This is me when I was about 5 years old.
Kinda cute, huh?

I've been wondering at what age do we stop thinking we are cute?
I was eleven years old. Middle school and puberty can be brutal.
What happens to our self-image? Why are we so hard on ourselves?

This post is probably going to be "blog suicide", but John Mayer sings, "Say what you need to say" right? Okay people, I have some things on my mind that need to be said. And if I offend you, that's not my intent. Please, don't let yourself be offended.

I really appreciated my friend, Stephanie's, post yesterday. I'm relieved to know other people feel the same way I do. When I'm driving on I-15 through Salt Lake and Provo, I feel completely bombarded with offensive and crude billboards advertising plastic surgery and liposuction and such. I don't want to see it and I don't want my children to see it. The media makes me feel like I'm not good enough in any way, shape, or form. Literally.

Why do women feel so pressured to look perfect? Why do so many women in Utah feel that way? Honestly, I feel that way sometimes too. I hate feeling that way; I know it is Satan working on me, trying to bring me down and keep me from focusing on what is really important.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are."

There's a really cute story in the February 2011 Friend called "Beautiful" (page 44). I don't think it's online yet. We read it during FHE last night and I hope my girls got something out of it. I did. I'm almost 36 years old and I still struggle with feelings of low self-esteem. But I've noticed that when I'm consistently reading my scriptures each day, serving others, saying my prayers, and all the little things we're supposed to be doing, I don't feel so bad about myself. For me personally, I also find if VERY important to stay away from media that sends me the message that "I'm ugly" (This can be very hard to find in today's world.)

Speaking of the word "ugly", isn't that an awful word? I don't know about you, but I do NOT allow that word to be said in my house about anything. I think it is very derogatory and harmful. On Sunday during sharing time, a little girl said loud enough for all to hear, "Ooh, look at the girl, her face is SO ugly!" I was horrified to say the least. I don't know who she was talking about nor did I turn around to see. I told her that isn't nice to say and she responded, "Well, it's true." What are we teaching our children?

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says in this amazing talk, "I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style... In the kingdom of God, the real you is 'more precious than rubies' (Proverbs 3:15)." I know this includes all women, regardless of our ages. I also know we must be more accepting of others.

Are we judging others simply based on their appearance? I had a very interesting experience last week. I have a very good friend who has been my friend since the moment I met her over 7 years ago. I don't know if she reads my blog, but if you do I LOVE YOU! And I hope you don't mind me sharing this story. We went out for ice cream the other night and I noticed several people staring at us (not in a nice way). I don't know how to say this without offending anyone, but my friend really struggles with her weight, mainly from health problems. I don't know if they were staring at me or her, but I could feel my face get hot and my heart start to pound. How dare they judge?! They don't even know us! It was very awkward and I never realized how rude people can be. I felt sorry for my dear friend and I wish other people knew how funny, smart, and beautiful she is! People are so quick to stereotype and ostracize others who look different.

Please, dear blog friends, as small as it may be, I have something I want to get off my chest! Now I know exactly what you're going to say, because I've heard it all before, but I have felt severely ostracized and even ridiculed just like my friend. You see, I have been "blessed" some people might think ... and again how do I say this without offending? Well, I don't really struggle with my weight. And there's nothing special about me other than I have a lot of health problems that prevent me from gaining weight. I know some of you may be thinking "Oh, poor baby, I wish I had your problems!" Well, I'll trade you and see what you think! I don't feel very good most days and it's a real slap in the face when someone "wishes they were like me".

You never know why someone looks the way they do; big or small or somewhere in-between. Don't assume anything. Think before you speak. Do people have to be the same size in order to be friends? No way!

I cannot tell you how many people; so-called "friends" and even complete strangers, have walked up to me and said this, "You are so skinny, I hate you!" I know that sounds silly, but it's cruel. Would you ever walk up to someone and say, "You are so FAT, I hate you!"? No one would EVER say that. Think about it.

This is one of the best talks ever. I know that President Monson is inspired. I really like this quote: "Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."

I love this quote from Sheri L. Dew: "Why can't we resist the urge to second-guess and evaluate each other?...Sometimes I wonder if the final judgment will be a breeze compared with what we've put each other through here on earth." (No Doubt About It)