Third time's the charm: three great books you need to read!

I keep having the overwhelming feeling I need to share these three books with you. They are all very special to me for different reasons. I've read them over the last few months and I know you will enjoy them.

The first book is called: 

"Covenant Motherhood" 
by Stephanie Dibb Sorensen

This is a great book! Honestly, I usually don't like books about Motherhood. I hate them actually. They usually leave me feeling very depressed and even more like a total failure than I felt before I read the book. I'm not like other mothers and my children just aren't like other children. No one can realistically measure up to the expectations of the motherhood books I've read before --not to mention an LDS motherhood book! No way! I've made it a point to steer clear.  UNTIL THIS BOOK. Why? Well, quite frankly, I'm very privileged to know the author personally and well, she is nothing short of  awesome. (Seriously!) She is so real and honest in this book. I love her insight and personal stories. She is very funny in a sarcastic kind of way (my favorite kind of way).

This book is THE FIRST book about motherhood that actually made me feel BETTER about what I'm doing and why I am doing it. I was a bit intimidated by the subtitle of the book, "Reflecting the Role of Christ in our Lives." (as well as the title), I was sure I'd never measure up, but I thought, "It has to be good, Stephanie wrote it. I'll at least give it a try." She was able to help me understand how important everything I do as a mother truly is -- from loving and teaching my children, to washing the dishes and changing dirty diapers (yes!). She helped me to feel enabled and exalted simply because I am a mother. I felt Christ's love for me and my ability to share that love with my children as I care for them. Why? In many instances, I'm ALREADY DOING the things she says are Christ-like. Wow!! Talk about a self-esteem booster!!! You mean, what I'm doing is enough? It is! As we are prayerful and have the right attitude and give it our best effort,  we are serving our children in the same manner Christ serves all of us. It is so inspiring! I really cannot convey how beautifully she explains it. I have felt such a great peace since reading this book. Thank you, Stephanie!

If you want to read more about Motherhood and how cool Stephanie is, you can check out her blog at: Diapers and Divinity

Okay, the second book is called:

"My Walk Thru Heaven" by Kim Rives

This is one of those books that really takes you by surprise. It's a life beyond death experience that will inspire you to love more and forgive freely. She is such an amazing person! I am truly inspired by her ability to forgive others. She has been through so much in her life. Her story is about her fight against cancer. I felt very connected to her because of my sister and her own fight against cancer (sadly, my sister lost that battle in February 2005). 

I don't want to say too much about the story to give away all the details -- you have to read it for yourself. I will say it left me feeling closer to the Savior than ever before and with an increased desire to be a better person. One of the more light-hearted parts of the story is the song she writes after one of her visits to her doctor -- it made me laugh right out loud. Kim has a great sense of humor in spite of all that she has been through -- it may even be part of what helped her through it. 

Ironically, as with Stephanie, I also know Kim personally. She is a member of my ward and she is simply AMAZING -- so kind and loving, her smile radiates a glow around her entire being. I love to talk with her and hear her sing. She is an angel here on earth and I am so grateful to know her. It is no coincidence that Heavenly Father put her in my life at this time. She has helped me to feel His peace and to find joy in my life. Thank you, Kim!

To learn more about Kim and her story, you can go to:

Kim Rives

Finally, the third book is called:

"When Life Gets Hard" by Meg Johnson

Kim Rives is the one who introduced me to this great book and I'm so thankful she let me borrow her copy. Now, I don't know Meg personally, but I would love to meet her! Several friends of mine DO know her and she is also AMAZING! Why is it amazing people have been through so much?

Helen Keller once said, "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

I would consider Meg a person of extraordinary character considering the trials and suffering she has been through (though I'm told by a friend of mine who went to high school with her she was ALREADY amazing before her accident!)

For a sneak peek of this book, here is the blurb on the book jacket (What are those called?):

"You wanted more. You got less.
You wanted this. You got that.
You wanted there. You got here.
You already know that things in life don’t go exactly as planned.
And sometimes they go terribly, terribly wrong . . . .

You already know that things in life don't go exactly as planned. And sometimes they go terribly, terribly wrong ...

Meg Johnson came to this life-changing realization seven years ago when she fell off a cliff in Southern Utah - a fall that left her a quadriplegic in a wheelchair. And though she sits for the rest of her mortal life, she stands tall with a message for her brothers and sisters of all abilities. When life gets too hard to stand, just keep on rollin'!

In this motivating and inspiring talk, When Life Gets Hard ..., motivational speaker and author Meg Johnson shares insights from her life that will make you laugh, cry, and rest assured that when your life gets tough, you, too, can keep on rollin'!"

Wow!! She definitely KEEPS ON ROLLIN'! Her book is so inspiring. Yes, she fell of a cliff and became paralyzed, but she talks about how much more devastating SPIRITUAL PARALYSIS is and more importantly, HOW TO AVOID IT!

I love books that tell you in exact detail how to do something (do this, then this, and this). She talks about avoiding and closing up Satan's gaps and holes along our path of life that can trap us and leave us spiritually paralyzed. She teaches us about the importance of 

GAPS

(Gratitude-Attitude-Prayer-Service)

vital tools to keep us safe from Satan's influence in our life. This book is such a fun read. I mean, it's absolutely horrible to think of what happened to her and all that she went through. I cried for her. I cried for me and my own ungratefulness in my truly blessed life. I need to do better and look at all the blessings that are everywhere around me. One of my favorite parts was her telling about a time when it was raining and she fell out of her wheelchair and found herself on the ground in a puddle with a frail old lady trying to help her up. I love how she told the story. Meg's honesty and humor is truly enjoyable and comes through in her writing. Thank you, Meg, I hope to meet you someday!

You can read more about Meg on her blog: 

Meg Johnson Speaks

and you can also follow her on Facebook (she just had a baby!)
I hope you can find these books at your library or find them online. I want to get a copy of each to add to my personal library. I also think any one of these would make a great gift!
HAPPY READING!

Pray for Jacob

This is what has been on my mind.
This is their story: Living StrongeR

Jacob is the son of Zeke's good childhood friend, Josh.

Liz, Josh's wife, is an amazing writer and mother. Their family is so strong and brave. Jacob was diagnosed with leukemia in April 2011. My heart hurts when I think of what they are going through right now, not only because we know them, but because Jacob and Jericho are so close to Gabe and Beck's ages.
I cannot imagine.

Liz and Josh: We love you and we're praying for you and your sweet family every day! I hope Jacob can get stronger and feel better everyday and make a full recovery.

This is a picture of Zeke and Josh wrestling way back when,
I'm guessing they were about 13 or 14 here: (look at all of Zeke's hair!)

Here's a picture of Gabe (left) and Jacob (right) in 1998:

Zip, Zero, Zilch, Nada!

My Pap test results came back NEGATIVE for any cancer cells!! I am so relieved. I don't have to go back for a YEAR now. :) Thanks everyone for your prayers and love.

This is one of our family pictures from 2008
(I remember wondering if it might be my last):

Doctrine and Covenants 68:6 "Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you..."

"uphill and smiling" meets "mother of the wild boys"... and NOIRA

Doctrine and Covenants 122:9 "Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."

First of all, my checkup went really well. I am SO relieved to have it over with! I won't find out the test results until Friday. Thank you all SO much for your prayers and concern. It really brightened my day to hear all of your words of love and encouragement :) I've decided it's good for people to know so they can pray for me! I know there is great power in prayer and I'm so thankful for everyone that has prayed in my behalf.

Mercifully, my checkup went really fast. (waiting and all) Afterward, I ran over to Wal-Mart for a minute to get myself a prize for being such a good patient. (Yes, I was!) I felt so happy just to be done. I really felt the Spirit comforting me and telling me that everything will be okay. I also felt like my sister, Brenda, was there holding my hand and helping me be brave.

As I was coming into the store and getting a cart, I got a little teary-eyed just thinking of my sister and enjoying the peace of the Spirit. I looked up and saw my friend, Shauntae! I love this woman! We had such a good visit. Thanks, Shauntae, for letting me talk your ear off. You are a great friend. I think I hugged her at least 4 times! It was so fun to see someone I haven't seen for awhile and cheer me up after that nasty checkup. I'm so glad it was her.

I spoiled myself with an almond truffle (no picture, but just think CHOCOLATE), I'm a bad girl!

A new clock for the bathroom (our other one stopped working for good):
A 2011 calendar (I always get a funny cat one. Sorry, Dedra):

And a $20 wreath I've been wanting to buy since before Thanksgiving.
It was on clearance for $5! Yeah, by now, I was positively euphoric:

So I picked up Beck from Jessica's and talked her ear off as well. Thanks for listening to me vent, Jessica. I think you are "da bomb" and I love ya! I got her a truffle too. :)

As soon as I got home, I noticed a small black kitten on our deck. Today was just getting better and better! No, seriously, Zeke and I have talked and we decided two cats are enough. But this kitten was ca-yute! I wasn't going to make a big deal about it and I didn't want the kids to see it, but it looked so hungry. Before the kids got home from school, I just took a small bowl of food to the side of the house for it. That was all! I guess it's all my fault, but on Friday night it kept coming to the door and the kids were going crazy over it.
By Saturday morning, we talked/begged Zeke into letting us feed it on the deck. A few hours later, SHE was in the house! The kids were in heaven (I'm included in "the kids" you know). The funny thing was Caspian and Pippin hissed at her a few times and then they were like, "Okay, whatever!" (It's meant to be, right?) And we were all in the kitchen playing together. We spent most of the morning trying to come up with a name for her:
I wanted to keep tradition and go with the name of a character from a book. Luna (Harry Potter) or Piper (The Lost Hero) or Eilonwy (Chronicles of Prydain)... but the kids weren't going for it. They wanted to name her "Blackberry". So we decided to vote on it. Gabe is taking a French class at school and he told us that "noir" means black in French. So we came up with "Noira" and that was our final pick. This kitty is BLACK!
Here's the kicker, I was trying to be a good Samaritan and I called Animal Control to see if anyone had reported a missing cat. You know, if she belonged to someone, it wouldn't be right for us to keep her. Well, I got a surprise! They told me it is against city ordinance to "harbor a stray". I had no idea that would happen. They gave us until 4pm to find the owners or they would have to confiscate her. I was crushed! We finally talked/begged Zeke into keeping the cat and now we couldn't... isn't it ironic? (don't ya think)

We said a prayer that we could find Noira's owners and we called several people in our neighborhood and went to several houses. But no one claimed her. The officer came to get her and everyone was really SAD. He said we need to give the owners a chance to claim her and if no one does after 4 days we can adopt her. I think that's the right thing to do. Well, no one has claimed her yet, but it now costs $85 to adopt a cat from the Humane Society! We are so torn.

I had a dream last night that we went to the Humane Society and they told us we could have her for free because we were so honest and cooperative with Animal Control. It was a good dream until I looked down at Noira and she was just a plastic toy cat... hmm?

When a negative is SO positive

Okay people, my blog is my venting place... it's your choice to read it - or not.

Today I am stressing out big time! I have been stressing every time I look at the calendar and see January 7th looming closer. Much to the chagrin of my husband, I played tetris for over an hour last night trying to get my mind off of today.

Today is my bi-annual visit to my OB-GYN for the dreaded check up. I know most people only go once a year, but I have been going every 6 months for the last 4 years. And in 2006, I went every 3 months. Sounds fun, huh? Nope not one bit.

I really need to go shower or I'm going to be late...

This is my sister, Brenda (during chemotherapy):

She battled stage 4 cervical cancer for 4 years. It metastasized and she passed away in February 2005. She was 46 years old. She was a great sister. She took me to a Def Leppard concert when I was 14. She helped my Mom calm down when I told her I was engaged to Zeke. She was a fighter. She left behind 6 children. Her youngest was only 5 years old when she died. I think of her everyday, but especially on the days I have to go for a check up. She had THE best laugh ever.

In October 2005, I went in for my regular check up and found out I also had the beginnings of cervical cancer "stage 1 dysplasia" (precancerous cells on the cervix). So for the next year and a half, I had to get checked every 3 months and have cryosurgery (think liquid nitrogen). My tests kept coming back positive for cancer cells. I cannot express how scary that is! Especially after seeing what my sweet sister went through.

By 2007, things were looking a bit better for me. I was able to graduate to 6 month check-ups. So here I am. I try to joke with myself and say I'm going in today and see if I can get an extension on my lease -- on life.

I read a book awhile ago about a family with a history of ovarian cancer. It's called "What We Have". It's a really great story, just be aware it has a few "F-bombs" in it. The author talks about living from fear to fear. Waiting and wondering. Hoping for more time. Going to every check up and wondering if today would be the day they tell you the cancer has spread. Or it's terminal and there's nothing more they can do for you. I feel like that author somehow climbed inside my brain and wrote down my personal feelings. That is EXACTLY what it's like.

But I have been blessed! So far, my last 3 check ups have come back NEGATIVE. I'm really hoping for a NEGATIVE today. It would be SO positive. I feel very selfish when I say that I'm not ready to go anywhere yet! I feel even more guilty when I'm stressed out with my children and I just want a break... and then I think of my sister and her children. I should just be grateful everyday.

Now, I don't want sympathy, I'm really okay. It just feels good to write it down. It might be why I'm so serious about things sometimes. I really want to do what is right. I never know how much time I have to prepare. If you ever see me crying during sacrament meeting (certain hymns and things really hit me hard) I am thinking about Brenda and how lucky I am. I find myself praying/bargaining with Heavenly Father, "Please just 6 more months, please let it be negative; if it is, I promise I will do better, I promise I will be better."

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." —Ether 12:6

P.S. Thanks to my dear friend, Jessica, for watching Beck. love ya