Why are women so concerned about how they look?
I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not. In one way or another all women are. I think there's a balance though, between being obsessed and not caring at all. The older I get, I don't care as much how I look, but even still, I have days when I don't feel as "beautiful" as I would like to.
I attended a New Beginnings meeting last night (for young women ages 12-18) and several of the girls talked about how much they struggle with the way they look. One didn't like her clothes, another was teased a lot when she was younger about the way she looks and still struggles to overcome it, another said she actually thinks she's UGLY. So many young girls feel like they aren't pretty or good enough simply BECAUSE they aren't pretty enough.
What's up with that? I think a lot of it comes from TV and movies. Everyone is SO perfect and beautiful and appear to be successful and happy only because they ARE beautiful. Somehow, beauty is tied to success and accomplishment, even though they don't really DO anything to show what they've accomplished, they only LOOK perfect. Does that make any sense?
The media is constantly telling us:
Perfect Beauty (fake or surgically enhanced or whatever) =
Successful, desirable, "worthy", lovable, wanted, preferred, acceptable, better than.
Not Beautiful = unsuccessful, undesirable, not acceptable or worthy of love, less than. As in, don't even bother trying, your effort will not be measured on the same scale simply because you're not beautiful to begin with.
It made me really sad. I had trouble sleeping last night. I was sad, because I've had those same feelings before, and it's hard to overcome. Then, I felt even more upset because I don't want my girls to go through that. My girls are so precious and beautiful to me. I wonder if I'm doing all I can to help balance and even overcome the negative influence they receive from the media and society?
The funny thing is, I was really shocked to hear these young women say they look in the mirror and think they're ugly. For a minute, I actually thought they were joking. Let me say they are SO wrong in that belief. Each and every one of those young women are SO beautiful. Truly.
Is it there faces? Their hair or eyes? Their clothes or shoes? Their smiles?
For me, this song is the answer. It helps me on days when I'm feeling down. It helps me everyday to remember what is most important and what I should be doing with my time here on earth.
It's appropriately titled,
"Beautiful"
from Cherie Call
(she is one of my absolute favorite singers ever -- I love her lyrics.)
Look at all the signs, Look at all the shows
All the glamorous people who claim to know
What perfection is and what makes beauty stay
But when all the styles go out and the labels fade away
It's what you give that makes you beautiful
It's how you live that makes your dreams come true
Keep your faith in this world,
And let the light of the Lord shine through
That's what makes you beautiful
Nothing burns as bright, nothing shimmers so
As the smile of a friend when hope is running low
And how your hand feels warm when you dry a tear
Love is still in fashion at the end of every year
It's what you give that makes you beautiful
It's how you live that makes your dreams come true
Keep your faith in this world,
And let the light of the Lord shine through
That's what makes you beautiful
Even roses fade away in the snow
But the beauty in your heart can always grow
It's what you give that makes you beautiful
It's how you live that makes your dreams come true
Keep your faith in this world,
And let the light of the Lord shine through
That's what makes you beautiful.
I was so thankful that each of those young women went on to say that Heavenly Father has helped them overcome these feelings of inadequacy. The Personal Progress program has helped them to feel like they are "more than just a pretty face" and what they do has value and meaning.
Another one of my favorite scriptures:
1 Samuel 16:7
"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."
I heard this years ago (supposedly it's from Audrey Hepburn):
Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
Walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things,
Have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed,
And redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
You will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
One for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
P.S. I found THE best quote to go with this post! It's from Elaine Dalton,
"We are royal daughters of God and our value is not based on sensual appeal."
Love that! My girls struggle with the same issues. They just don't seem to understand that there are many different kinds of beauty.
ReplyDeleteSandy
Thanks, Sandy. I just want all girls to know they are beautiful :)
DeleteLove this my friend. Thank you for the reminder. I needed it this morning. WE all have those days. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd you, Dear Lora, are SO beautiful in SO many ways :)
DeleteThanks for posting this, this is something I worry about with all of my girls and I hope that I can convey to them just how beautiful they are.
ReplyDeleteMe too, I worry about my girls. You're girls are so cute and you're a great Mom, thanks for your comment, Crystal :)
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