Best News Ticker Ever

One of my favorite quotes ever is from Thomas S. Monson:

 "The Lord is in the details of our life." 

I love this quote simply because I know it is true.  He is aware of us -- each of us. He know us personally and helps us individually. I'm constantly amazed and humbled by the way He answers my prayers and the fact that He does.

Without getting too personal, I also wanted to share a simple concept I'm learning more and more lately:

Return good for evil.

When people are inconsiderate or even outright cruel, I find great peace in showing them kindness instead of revenge or anger. I wish I could tell you the AWESOME experience I had last week. Basically, the Spirit told me to do something nice for someone I was very upset with. I didn't like the way she was treating me and the things she had been saying. When confronted by her, the Spirit literally spoke to me to do something nice. I did and the results were nothing short of MIRACULOUS! She smiled, I smiled, AND... those feelings of hurt completely and instantly went away.

I am determined not to let all the mean and grumpy people bring me down!

I'm learning more and more that forgiveness is an action on MY part. Not just saying sorry (and definitely not waiting for the other person to apoligize -- that may never happen), but actually DOING something to make amends. Ahhhh. My heart feels good. :)

I was in the temple yesterday and I had to wait awhile before they could take me in to do the ordinance. It was no coincidence to me when a very special person just happened to be there yesterday and we got to visit while we waited together. I just met her recently and she is becoming a great friend. What an amazing lady!! I'll have to write a blog post about her. 

Anyway, about half way through the ordinances, I suddenly became very antsy and felt the need to check the clock. I carpool with another good friend for our little Kindergartners and I knew I had at least another 20 minutes before I had to leave. However, this feeling wouldn't go away and I kept feeling like I need to leave sooner. After about 5 more minutes, I couldn't ignore the feeling any longer, so I told the temple workers I had to leave early. I got to my locker and the Spirt prompted me immediately, "Check your phone!" 

Now, when I tell you the Spirit "spoke to me" or "prompted me" -- it's like a sound recording in my head of my voice, but it's playing in the back of my mind. You know when you watch the news on TV and there's a news ticker running along the bottom of the screen with the latest updates and developing stories and such? I've finally learned that's what the promptings of the Holy Ghost are like to me. I have this special "news ticker" flash across the back of my mind whenever the Spirit is trying to tell me something. I just have to focus on the voice I hear and I can literally "see" that ticker through my mind. 

So back to the story -- I check my phone (in the locker room/dressing room of the temple -- weird I know, but the Spirit told me to). There was a text from my carpool friend sent much earlier saying she wouldn't be able to pick up Beck today and hoped I could. WOW!! Of course I could because the Spirit told me to leave the temple early. It was amazing! Such a simple thing, but I'm so grateful. I was able to pick up Beck right on time and another little girl that I pick up also. It worked out perfectly. 

Now, I know nothing terrible would have happened if I didn't listen to this prompting. I probably would have been about 10-15 minutes late picking up Beck. The teachers probably would have taken him to the office to wait for me and then try to call me, but I'm just so grateful he didn't have to worry or be afraid. I'm SO thankful I didn't have to feel stressed about being late and getting there in a hurry. It was just so comforting to me to KNOW Heavenly Father is aware of me and my family and our life.

How could we ever go wrong if we ALWAYS listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost?

How can we ALWAYS make sure we are listening?

I want to make sure my life isn't too busy to hear these promptings. I need to slow down and be aware of what's going on and what the Spirit is trying to tell me. I need to make time in my life to act on those promptings. The Lord IS in the details of our life. We need to listen to what He wants us to do.

Another good friend in our new ward made me this beautiful necklace last week! I KNOW she was listening to the Spirit. She had no idea the week I'd had or all of things on my mind that day. I was really feeling down. She somehow knew I needed a friend and stopped by to cheer me up and see how I was doing. There wasn't anything terribly wrong, but I just needed the reassurance there are people out there who care about me. Thank you!

The little stones surrounding the eternity symbol are all of our birthstones (my children, Zeke, and me). I LOVE it! By the way, can you see the little cat scratch just above the edge of my shirt on the right? That's how you know it's ME. I love those crazy fur-balls. 

I know there are people out there who need our help and our friendship. We need to pray for guidance to know who they are and what they need. We can be instruments in God's hands in answering the prayers of another.

Another favorite quote,  

"A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous."

The world is still full of so much good. We need to look for it and ADD to it. 

Pray for Jacob

This is what has been on my mind.
This is their story: Living StrongeR

Jacob is the son of Zeke's good childhood friend, Josh.

Liz, Josh's wife, is an amazing writer and mother. Their family is so strong and brave. Jacob was diagnosed with leukemia in April 2011. My heart hurts when I think of what they are going through right now, not only because we know them, but because Jacob and Jericho are so close to Gabe and Beck's ages.
I cannot imagine.

Liz and Josh: We love you and we're praying for you and your sweet family every day! I hope Jacob can get stronger and feel better everyday and make a full recovery.

This is a picture of Zeke and Josh wrestling way back when,
I'm guessing they were about 13 or 14 here: (look at all of Zeke's hair!)

Here's a picture of Gabe (left) and Jacob (right) in 1998:

"Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end"

Be Still My Soul, Hymns #124

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy Heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

I heard this hymn this morning as I was getting ready for church. The words are so powerful and comforting. God is real. He lives. He knows us and loves all of us. We are His children. I am so thankful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and for this beautiful hymn. It has spoken to my heart this weekend and given me peace where I didn't think I could find any. Miracles have come to pass. I know that God hears and answers our prayers. Thank you and I hope you know who you are.

I wanted to re-post a beautiful quote from Mother Teresa. It helps me keep going in spite of opposition. I hope we can all see the good in others.

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.

Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway."
— Mother Teresa

The Good with the Bad... I'll take what I can get!

Okay, so Wednesday was Book Club. It was so AWESOME. It was nearly impossible to get there, but I was going no matter what! Kaia had a last minute birthday party. Zeke and Gabe went hiking with the scouts. At least my friend Nancy agreed to watch my kids, but right before I left, the Young Women came by doing a service scavenger hunt (how could I say no?) I had to take my Dad's old Chevy, very groovy in my opinion, although a tad hard to reach the gas pedal. I was an hour late, but it was worth every crazy minute spent trying to get there!

Sushi at the Black Pearl and Cannoli's at Sweetly Divine?
Oh yeah, but that's just the beginning!
Without incriminating anyone I will just say we hand a grand old time shopping for lingerie at Dillard's. What?!? Don't you go shopping for lingerie with your Book Club? Well, you should.

Oh and of course we talked about the book, a bit. Actually most of us hadn't finished it yet. It's over 500 pages and well... life happens. But I did finish it Friday night. If you didn't read my last post, it's called "The Forgotten Garden" by Kate Morton. I really liked it. I would probably give it 3 out of 5 stars, maybe 4. It's hard to follow sometimes, jumping between the early 1900's, 1975, and 2005 all through the book with each chapter labeled with a different year. It's a great mystery with interesting characters. However, I was a bit frustrated by this woman's apparent allergy to conjunctions. I don't think I've read a book with longer, more confusing sentences. (other than my blog!) I'd have to go back and reread a few sentences here and there trying to figure out what she was saying. I'm very impatient and it just didn't flow at times. But the overall story was great.

Seriously, this whole paragraph is TMI I know, but I don't care. Friday was one of those days.... my dumb bladder. Does anyone wanna trade me? Deb? Amanda? You've offered to trade other things with me, I just thought I would ask. :) Anyway, having IC does have it's benefits, I guess. When I'm having a "flare-up", I can't hold still for anything, for fear of, well, you know. So I spent most of Friday running around the house getting stuff done. A week's worth of chores done in one day: Litter boxes, weeding, laundry, more weeding, dishes, etc. I guess I just need the proper motivation. Hmm? The kids and I had fun in spite of my inability to sit still. My medicine just wasn't cutting it so I had to keep VERY busy in order to keep my mind off of it.

Random: Kaia and Beck watching Scooby Doo

For the record, we're just a week into summer and my kids are so good at helping me around the house. During the school year, they have a few chores each day, but with so much homework and scouts and activity days and all that, I don't really focus on heavy duty chores until summer. I have a very simple chore chart and I rotate it everyday. Did you know that Kaia seriously LOVES to dust? I don't know where she came from, but I am definitely keeping her! Gabe mows the lawn for me and takes out the trash. Zoe is my best sweeper and clothes folder and Beck will do anything if he thinks he's "helping". Yeah, I'm pretty dang blessed!

Here's Gabe and Beck chillin' on the back deck after Gabe mowed the lawn.
Beck LOVES his big brother!

Friday night, we built a camp fire in the backyard and made smores.
It was a bit chilly, but fun.

Saturday was a Mother-Daugher Picnic for the Activity Day girls (kinda like girl scouts, sorta). Zoe and I went together and well, she is my buddy. We had a picnic on the lawn and painted flower pots.
Afterwards, we went to the store to grab a few things and Zoe saw a display of Justin Bieber dolls and was NOT happy about it. I'm glad she's not into all that yet. Honestly, why is he so popular? He sounds like a girl, well, at least the doll version of him does. We had to test all of the dolls just to see if they worked -- at the same time. You know the guy that spins dinner plates on top of sticks or whatever? We're WAAAY better than him!
Saturday night, we invited our wonderful neighbors, Lora and David, over to help us eat some some dutch oven potatoes and ribs. They obliged and brought some dutch oven cherry-chocolate dump cake. It was a feast! I can't believe it's only been a year since I met Lora. We are so blessed! I was so sad last year when I got released from Young Women's and then, Lora moved in across the street and life just keeps getting better. We have a lot in common so we can relate to each other, but we are very different too and it's keeps things interesting. :) I didn't take any pictures :(

Okay, today, Sunday, has been quite a day for me. I've been praying earnestly for answers to some things that have been troubling me lately. I'm always amazed at how those answers come. Testimony meeting was inspiring and I really appreciated my friend, Michelle's testimony of prayer and how she's gotten answers to the "small" things and that's given her Faith to keep praying for the "big" things and now the big things have been answered. I need to have more Faith! I hope I can endure the trials I have been given. Sometimes I'm not so sure. They're nothing too major, but for me they seem unbearable.

I was thinking about how wonderful my life really is aside from one or two things and if I didn't have these trials to deal with, how would I learn anything? There must be opposition in all things, right? Sometimes I just wish I could pick the what and the when... yeah, it just doesn't work that way.

Also, while preparing my Primary lesson this week, I've had this cute little Primary song going through my head (and it's no coincidence):

Help me, Dear Father, to freely forgive
All who may seem unkind to me.
Help me each day, Father, I pray;
Help me live nearer, nearer to Thee.

Why is it so hard to forgive people? Maybe it's just hard for me. I look at other families and wonder what it would be like to have a different family. But you know, I was given my family for a reason. ALL of them. I'm really trying to figure out what I'm supposed to learn from all of it and REALLY trying to feel charity in my heart. I think it's interesting the lyrics say "all who may seem unkind". It's how we perceive things... and I could go on forever about that one. But regardless of perception and true intent, I am still REQUIRED to forgive. My trial isn't "finished", but I got a lot of answers today and I am very grateful for the peace I felt. I think I've made some progress. There's NO way I could handle what I'm going through without the help of my Father in Heaven.

Here's to a new week! :)

Satan gave me some Zyrtec

You know that song, "Satan gave me a taco" from Beck. Yeah, you probably don't, but it's one of our family favorites. You just might click on another blog right about now...

Well, as you know, yesterday, was not my best day. However, I woke up feeling absolutely FABULOUS today... could it be all the wonderful comments you posted yesterday? DEFINITELY. I'm so thankful for all of you. I love you all!

Could it be a random girl's night at my neighbor Lora's house? YES, most definitely! Oh dear, have you woke up the next morning after a night of crazy and thought, "Why did I say that?", "Why did I do that?" Yeah, it was that fun! Here are my accomplices, if you ever need any dirt on me, they have it:

LORA
TAWNYA
SHARI
ALLISON (I don't know if you have a blog and
I think I might have freaked you out a little, but I thought it was fun.)

Well, I also realized that way back on Monday, I was having seasonal allergy issues, so before I went to bed I took a Zyrtec. And when I woke up yesterday I felt AWFUL. Shaky and stressed and tired and groggy and DEPRESSED. It was the Zyrtec. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! By the way, I did NOT take a Zyrtec last night, but I did consume quite a bit of chocolate. Hmmm... I think there's a connection.

So, I have to fill you in on the events yesterday:

Visiting teaching went really well. Prayer changes things. Even my prideful stubborn heart. (sometimes) I had a strong feeling that I'm right where I need to be for the moment for good or bad. My partner has a lot of strengths I didn't recognize until yesterday. The Spirit helped me a lot. I think sometimes Satan doesn't want us to go visiting teaching because it's so good for us. Carry on.

"Zoe and Kaia and sharing a bedroom" SAGA: Zoe prayed about it again yesterday morning before school and we made another list of pros and cons. Zeke and I talked with her about when you make a decision and pray about it and get a good feeling that you shouldn't second guess it. If it's right, it's right. That being said -- it doesn't mean everything will go smoothly 100% of the time. We tried to use the analogy of us getting married, we know it's right, we love each other, but sometimes we really can't stand the sight of each other. (NO, we didn't say that to Zoe!) But we did say that sometimes it's hard being married, but we keep going because we love each other and it's mostly FUN:)

So, after school, she said, "I really want to share a room with Kaia, it's more fun than not!" She has been at peace ever since... and I am more than a little excited to reclaim the family room! HAPPY DAY!

Oh, one of the MANY topics of conversation at girl's night:

If you don't know, this guy is Jani Lane, the lead singer from a 90's hairband called Warrant. (Yes, I LOVED them!)

Don't you think I look like him? My brother says I do.
(Thanks for the picture, Tawnya)
Being totally whacked is much better than being depressed.
Oh, and I almost forgot to thank my awesome hubby for encouraging me to go hang out with my friends and for taking care of the kids. LOVE you.

"uphill and smiling" meets "mother of the wild boys"... and NOIRA

Doctrine and Covenants 122:9 "Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."

First of all, my checkup went really well. I am SO relieved to have it over with! I won't find out the test results until Friday. Thank you all SO much for your prayers and concern. It really brightened my day to hear all of your words of love and encouragement :) I've decided it's good for people to know so they can pray for me! I know there is great power in prayer and I'm so thankful for everyone that has prayed in my behalf.

Mercifully, my checkup went really fast. (waiting and all) Afterward, I ran over to Wal-Mart for a minute to get myself a prize for being such a good patient. (Yes, I was!) I felt so happy just to be done. I really felt the Spirit comforting me and telling me that everything will be okay. I also felt like my sister, Brenda, was there holding my hand and helping me be brave.

As I was coming into the store and getting a cart, I got a little teary-eyed just thinking of my sister and enjoying the peace of the Spirit. I looked up and saw my friend, Shauntae! I love this woman! We had such a good visit. Thanks, Shauntae, for letting me talk your ear off. You are a great friend. I think I hugged her at least 4 times! It was so fun to see someone I haven't seen for awhile and cheer me up after that nasty checkup. I'm so glad it was her.

I spoiled myself with an almond truffle (no picture, but just think CHOCOLATE), I'm a bad girl!

A new clock for the bathroom (our other one stopped working for good):
A 2011 calendar (I always get a funny cat one. Sorry, Dedra):

And a $20 wreath I've been wanting to buy since before Thanksgiving.
It was on clearance for $5! Yeah, by now, I was positively euphoric:

So I picked up Beck from Jessica's and talked her ear off as well. Thanks for listening to me vent, Jessica. I think you are "da bomb" and I love ya! I got her a truffle too. :)

As soon as I got home, I noticed a small black kitten on our deck. Today was just getting better and better! No, seriously, Zeke and I have talked and we decided two cats are enough. But this kitten was ca-yute! I wasn't going to make a big deal about it and I didn't want the kids to see it, but it looked so hungry. Before the kids got home from school, I just took a small bowl of food to the side of the house for it. That was all! I guess it's all my fault, but on Friday night it kept coming to the door and the kids were going crazy over it.
By Saturday morning, we talked/begged Zeke into letting us feed it on the deck. A few hours later, SHE was in the house! The kids were in heaven (I'm included in "the kids" you know). The funny thing was Caspian and Pippin hissed at her a few times and then they were like, "Okay, whatever!" (It's meant to be, right?) And we were all in the kitchen playing together. We spent most of the morning trying to come up with a name for her:
I wanted to keep tradition and go with the name of a character from a book. Luna (Harry Potter) or Piper (The Lost Hero) or Eilonwy (Chronicles of Prydain)... but the kids weren't going for it. They wanted to name her "Blackberry". So we decided to vote on it. Gabe is taking a French class at school and he told us that "noir" means black in French. So we came up with "Noira" and that was our final pick. This kitty is BLACK!
Here's the kicker, I was trying to be a good Samaritan and I called Animal Control to see if anyone had reported a missing cat. You know, if she belonged to someone, it wouldn't be right for us to keep her. Well, I got a surprise! They told me it is against city ordinance to "harbor a stray". I had no idea that would happen. They gave us until 4pm to find the owners or they would have to confiscate her. I was crushed! We finally talked/begged Zeke into keeping the cat and now we couldn't... isn't it ironic? (don't ya think)

We said a prayer that we could find Noira's owners and we called several people in our neighborhood and went to several houses. But no one claimed her. The officer came to get her and everyone was really SAD. He said we need to give the owners a chance to claim her and if no one does after 4 days we can adopt her. I think that's the right thing to do. Well, no one has claimed her yet, but it now costs $85 to adopt a cat from the Humane Society! We are so torn.

I had a dream last night that we went to the Humane Society and they told us we could have her for free because we were so honest and cooperative with Animal Control. It was a good dream until I looked down at Noira and she was just a plastic toy cat... hmm?

"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good..."

Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-9 "And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?...therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever."

Well, I'm still here, barely. Now, I'm not saying my life is that hard... times have been much harder for sure... but what a weekend!

So Zeke got home Wednesday afternoon...

Gabe watched the kids for us while we went to Zeke's work party... first party with the new company... it will take some time to adjust. I didn't know anyone and all the employees talked about work the whole time. They served us a yummy dinner, but it tasted way too salty to me. I didn't even like the chocolate raspberry cheesecake! Yeah, I think I was starting to get sick that night... I just felt off.

Here's a rundown of our Christmas via Facebook (bear with me... my head feels like it weighs 30 pounds at least):

Dec. 23rd: well, thanks "SC", for a Merry Christmas :) and here we are... Kaia AND Zoe are both sick now... C'est la vie...

Dec. 24th: Dear friends and neighbors... please know that we love you and thank you for all the goodies and gifts... this year we will give you a gift of NOT giving you our germs... this morning we are ALL sick (except for Zeke). You don't want this bug, I promise.

Dec. 24th: looks like the Tooth Fairy will have to hitch a ride with Santa tonight...

Dec. 25th: Merry Christmas everyone! I am so thankful for my family and for our Savior Jesus Christ and for Ibuprofen.:)

Dec. 25th: okay, so we all have colds... but Zoe is coughing up blood... any ideas what could be going on? I'm thinking bronchitis? do I need to take her right in? or can it wait until Monday?

Dec. 25th: thanks everyone, Zeke and Zoe are home. Dr. said her lungs are clear for now. He said her throat is very raw and inflamed; could be causing the bleeding. He gave her a steroid to help with the inflammation. We have to take her back to the Dr. on Monday to make sure there's no infection/pneumonia. Dr. said Zoe probably just has a nasty virus. Well, it could be worse, right? :)

Dec. 26th: I think I'm done... last night, Beck got THE worst nose bleed I've ever seen... he was even bleeding out of his tear ducts... that was before he threw up all the blood the ran down his throat...okay, so if you want to start the bidding for the movie rights.... we just need a title... I'm sure it will be a big money maker....

Yesterday, Zeke's Mom stopped by to say HI.
Oh, Patty, thank you for coming!! and thank you for the great presents!

It finally felt like Christmas! I sure hope she doesn't get sick. Gabe is the only one with a fever still. We're getting better, but it's going to take awhile. And by some amazing miracle, Zeke hasn't got sick...yet. I think Zoe was the sickest so far. Poor girl. I'll put up more pictures later...

Beck and Kaia are lovin' the Zhu Zhu pets...

Beck got a Hot Wheels garage...

I am so thankful for prayer. I know I've prayed a lot before, but this weekend is definitely in the top 10. Beck's nosebleed just about did me in. It was one of THE scariest things I've ever been through. Poor Beck! I'm thankful for Priesthood blessings and just for time. It's nice to see Kaia getting better; it gives me hope for the rest of us. I'm thankful that Zeke was here to help me, sorry honey! One of these days we won't be sick during the holidays...

Zeke and I really enjoyed watching Pippin watch TV with us last night... yeah, it doesn't take much to entertain us.

The yams did it!

There's an old Daffy Duck cartoon where "Tom Turkey" begs Daffy Duck to hide him from Porky Pig who is hoping to kill a nice big turkey for Thanksgiving. Daffy promises the turkey he'll hide him from Porky and never tell where he is. Well, Porky Pig begins telling Daffy Duck about all the yummy things he would have eaten if he had a turkey to go with it. By the time he mentions candied yams, Daffy's mouth is watering and finally he can't stand it any longer and shouts, "The yams did it! It was the yams! The yams did it!" and he breaks his promise to poor Tom Turkey and tells Porky where he is. Anyway, our family always thought this was so funny and to this day whenever we do something we said we weren't going to, we'll say,"The yams did it! It was the yams that did it!" It's one of our bizarre Thanksgiving "traditions" I guess... I love how my Mom says it. Anyway...

Kaia got to have a Thanksgiving Feast at school on Tuesday.
This was the Indian costume she made.
(No our windows aren't frosted... they're covered in SNOW!)

Well, our long weekend started out pretty exciting I guess. On Tuesday, the National Weather Service issued a blizzard warning for Logan. They closed the children's schools at noon and even closed the University at 2pm in anticipation of the big storm. We sat in the living room and looked out the window and waited... around 3pm the first few flakes began to fall. By 3:15 the wind was blowing so hard it was a total white-out and by 4pm, all our windows were covered from top to bottom with snow. It was very pretty, but kinda freaky at the same time.

The kids and I were quite antsy until Zeke made it home from work. I put a movie on and made dinner. Zeke called around 5pm and said he was on his way. Normally it takes him less than 10 minutes to get home... but he didn't pull up in the driveway until 5:45! It was crazy out there. He got stuck a few times and said at one point a guy got out of his car and jumped on Zeke's back bumper to give him enough traction to get going (this is pretty normal for people in Logan and everyone's pretty cool to help one another). It continued to snow and blow through much of the night. I went to bed thinking we'd be snowed in (this has only happened once in the 9+ years we have lived here). However, we woke up the next morning and it was just another day. The wind had stopped and there was only about 5 or 6 inches of snow. The blizzard itself was the scary part... it came down fast and hard. I'm thankful we're all okay and the power didn't go out or anything.

On Wednesday, Gabe went sledding with some friends, Beck took a nap (THANK YOU!!) and the girls and I made pies. This was a definite highlight of my holiday. Do you remember back in June when Zeke made the portable island for our kitchen? Okay, Wednesday just made it all worth it 100 times over! It was so nice to have room for everyone to work (and play). I really felt like I could get the pies done at the same time I was playing with the girls and teaching them how to do things and letting them do their own thing too. Lots of room and great traffic flow... oh, how I have waited for that. Thanks, honey, for doing it MY way! :)

I made 5 pies (yeah, for 6 people.. you might think that's a bit much, but we are 6 people who REALLY like pies!) And the girls each made 3 mini-pies of their own. We listened to Zoe's practice CD for her TaVaci performing group and we wore our matching aprons and drank hot chocolate. It was really great. They are my little girlfriends in every way. I feel so blessed.

I had a good Thanksgiving really. I'm just one of those silly people who get these great expectations in my mind of how special a holiday is going to be and then when it turns out just normal or a little chaotic or even a bit depressing, I get super bummed.

Right after breakfast, everyone wanted to go outside and play in the snow. I was busy fixing dinner. Zeke helped the kids get ready and went out with them. Zoe came in and was really cold. She was building an igloo and you know when the sleeves of your coat are too short to cover the bottom of your gloves so the snow keeps coming in? Anyway, I figured since I was inside cooking, she could wear my coat and it would cover her arms better.

I dug out my heavy winter coat and started cleaning out the pockets... I found a whole stack of church permission slips from one of the last Young Women activities I went to. We went sledding in February. I started crying. Gabe and Zeke said, "What's wrong? What is it!?" I cried through the words, "It's permission slips!!!" (like that should explain why I was so upset) Oh man, I was a mess! For those of you that don't know, I served in the Young Women's in my ward for nearly 4 years and was just released this May.

It's been a strange grieving process, not unlike losing a dear loved one. Really. The feelings come and go quite strongly at times. Some days I'll be totally fine and other days, something will hit me: like a song, or a fun memory, or in this case, a stack of old permission slips, and I completely fall apart. This was one of those days. Oh how I miss it! I am overwhelmed with sadness sometimes... those youth are so awesome!! I feel rather lost without them. I love them dearly... okay, now I'm crying again. I guess that unexpected event set the mood for my day. I really tried to enjoy everything, but I just felt this aching loneliness that wouldn't go away.

I had to get out of the house. I went to the store with Gabe to get some ice cream (it is NOT okay to eat pie without ice cream at our house!) We can have a lot of fun together. We were just laughing and joking together. I think it was the highlight of the day. I am so thankful for laughter! It keeps me going. We saw a guy in sweats jogging through the store with a can of "Reddi-Whip" in each fist... he was on a mission and no one was stopping him! Actually, he looked like a guy who was in the middle of a really great football game while his wife was in the kitchen slaving away at the big dinner and she said, "Honey, I need you to go to the store right now and get some whip cream, I forgot to get some!" And he was grumbling about it JUST a bit. It was SO funny, really. Gabe and I waited until the guy was about 5 feet away and we just exploded laughing... good times. We tried to imitate him for everyone when we got home, but they didn't laugh too much. Well, you just had to be there!

I really wanted to spend the holiday with some of my extended family, especially my Mom and Dad, but with finals just around the corner, Zeke really needed to be here to study and couldn't spare the time to travel. I sent an open invitation to my family at the Northern end of the state for anyone who might like to come for dinner... homemade pies, people! I couldn't help myself... I kept looking at the clock and looking out the window hoping someone would pull up. I know the weather was bad and people already had other plans... but I just wished this year would be the year someone would come to our house. By 2:30, I had to tell myself out loud that nobody is coming so I'd better get over it. I am a big baby.

Our dinner was good. Zeke and I both worked really hard and fixed all the classic stuff even though it was just for the 6 of us. We waited for the yams to be done and debated about starting without them, but we both agreed we love yams enough that dinner will have to wait for them. We got the table set and all the food ready. I checked the yams and they were pretty much done, so I turned the oven off and left the yams in while we said the prayer and such. And then I didn't even think about the yams until the next evening... (shows you how much I really like them!) Beck was being Beck and well, he's very "flusterating" sometimes... my mind is pretty much gone with this kid.

Zeke told the kids the night before he wanted them to think about something really special they are thankful for. Before we ate, we went around the table and told everyone what we were thankful for:

Gabe -- Thanksgiving (and all the good food)
Kaia -- Heavenly Father
Beck -- POPCORN!! (it sounds more like "Pa-kern!")
Zoe -- doctors and medicine
Me -- the Atonement (where would I be?)
Zeke -- me and the sacrifice I make to stay home with the children
(okay, I was crying again, I don't think I deserved that,
but it was very sweet)

Then, about 20 minutes later... dinner was over! WOW! All that time and effort for 20 minutes?! But I will say, the Rainbow Jello from my friend's food blog was a huge success! It was so AWESOME!! Here we are posing for a picture, while our beloved yams are sitting in the oven completely forgotten:

On Friday, Zoe got to perform with her TaVaci group at the Novemberfest (like a big arts and craft fair thing). It was really fun to watch her. She gets better every time. One of my favorite songs she sang goes like this, "Santa is the man and he's got a plan! I'm his biggest fan and he's comin' on Christmas!" kinda like a rap... it was so cute! And I can't get it out of my head. I was going to put up a little video of it, but I felt a bit seasick after previewing it... I need to have at least a 3 foot barrier from Beck if I'm trying to video anything... he kept bumping me and sitting on me and saying, "Mommy, I want more candy!" (yeah, I was trying to bribe him to sit still)

After lunch on Friday, I declared it was "Christmas decoration time!" I have been waiting! Zeke had to study, Gabe went sledding again... (oh well?) So it was the girls and Beck (aka The Ornament Destroyer). But we had fun anyway... I love to watch my children decorate the Christmas tree. They always seem to gather as many ornaments as they can on just one branch. I love our little old Christmas tree. It's nothing fancy, but I think it's beautiful. Every year, we take turns having one child put the tree topper/spire thing on... don't you love Zeke's face? Kaia does.
We were still putting up decorations around 5pm and I thought I'd better start some dinner. I chose a crowd-favorite: pizza. So while I was mixing the yeast for the dough, I turned the oven on and went about making the sauce, letting the dough raise, and putting away storage bins from the Christmas stuff. Well, about 15 minutes later, I noticed a strange smell coming from the kitchen... something was burning! I ran to the oven and opened it to find yesterday's YAMS burned and yucky. DANG IT! (like Kip on Napoleon Dynamite when he drives over the plastic bowl and smashes it) I should have taken a picture I guess... do you really want to see a pan full of burned yams? I've seen some pretty weird pictures on blogs... like string cheese that looks like jerky (ha ha ha). Anyway, it wasn't anything too serious, but I had to laugh! I cannot believe we forgot all about the yams...

This morning while I was doing dishes, some of the clean ones began to topple over. I tried to grab them, but they crashed to the floor. One of my baking stones shattered and my electric griddle broke in 4 places. :( I was pretty bummed. I was mad at myself. I was trying to hurry and just get them done. I guess I stacked them too high. But I thought, at least no one got hurt. Well, I guess I'll be getting a new griddle for Christmas...sigh.

What I really want for Christmas is for Zeke to graduate. I don't want to feel guilty anymore when I ask him to help me when he should be studying. I don't want to live our lives by the semester calendar anymore and change plans or not make any plans at all because Zeke has a test or a project due. I want to have more time to just be together and not always be rushing through dinner and scriptures and everything. Anyway, I don't want to have unrealistic expectations... maybe it won't be that different. Maybe it will. But I want to be done. Say a prayer for us, please?

Here's a great scripture I found this week:
1 Nephi 18:16: "Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions." (Nephi is saying this while his wrists and ankles are very swollen and sore from being tied up by his brothers and they are mocking him... yeah, I really shouldn't complain!)

One more important thing, last night, I had the yummiest creation: Razzleberry Pie with Spumoni Ice Cream. Okay, I think it beat the Pecan Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream. Well, maybe they tied. Mmmmm!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

I just wanted to tell you a bit about my 6 year old daughter, Kaia. She is the Queen of "one-liners." She always says really random and funny things and it makes up for her not-so-funny temper and stubbornness. But alas, I have decided she is just too much like me in that department, so I will forgive her. She can't help it, it's genetic, right? I can't help but admire her feisty-ness. It might come in handy when she gets older.

A few months ago, my Primary class was struggling through the lesson. They were just really silly that day; having a hard time sitting still and keeping quiet and such. So I gave them "3 strikes" each and then I would have to get one of their parents. Guess who was the first one to get 3 strikes? MY DAUGHTER, Kaia, of course! oh man! I was pretty flustered and I was like, "Okay, I'll have to go get your Dad!" ha ha ha

Last week I overheard Kaia telling Zoe, "Look! It's my first chest hair! You gotta come see this!"

Kaia (with a large crepe in her mouth): "I have a cigarette and I know how to use it!" Then she proceeded to take a HUGE bite with powdered sugar puffing out everywhere.

Kaia (with hot pink plastic vampire teeth in her mouth): "You know, Mom, I bet vampires must bite their tongue a lot with these fangs." And Zoe added, "Yeah, maybe that's why they have snake tongues because they bit off the sides..."

Kaia came upstairs crying one day telling me that Gabe was pushing and shoving her out of his room. I went downstairs and asked Gabe what the matter was. He promised me he didn't even touch her, he just wanted to close his door. I didn't realize Kaia was standing behind me and suddenly she said, "Well, it felt like he was pushing me!"

Just the other day, Kaia smiled mischievously and said, "Now I'm going to do some art, but I wish I had some boys to chase..." WHY? "Because that is art, the art of chasing boys!!" Oh man, I'm in trouble.

Kaia was in the bathtub the other night and she was really thinking about something. She sat up and said, "Mom, I want to do something different for my next birthday. You know, something unusual! I want you to fill the bathtub with whipped cream and I want to jump in naked and eat all of it!" I was laughing and said, "Well, I don't know about that." She gets really excited and yells, "Oh yeah, not whipped cream, let's do cake batter!"

Kaia bore her testimony in sacrament about our lost cat, "I pray every night for him to come home and when we find him (with hand on her hip and shaking her finger) "I'm gonna say where have you been and then I'm gonna kiss him until I just can't stop!" As a side note, we had SO many people from our ward tell us they prayed for our cat after hearing Kaia's testimony and we found him after he had been missing for 7 weeks!

The other morning at breakfast, Kaia asked me why our country's bird is the bald eagle. I told her maybe because they are so powerful and majestic. She said, "Well, I think it should have been the turkey, like that Benjamin guy said." She continued eating breakfast and after some deep thought looked up and said, "You know, Mom, maybe he was drunk when he said that!"

And my personal favorite:

Kaia (after seeing her older brother throw up): "Mom, "throw-up" is kind of like salsa, except it has germs in it, right?"

I was taking "beautiful bride" pictures of Zoe and Kaia.
Just as I was about to take the picture, Kaia roared at me!

That's my girl! She is an imp and she is a spit-fire...
oh, how I love her, but she is a handful!

Uneasy

Do you ever have that feeling like something is wrong? I have no idea what is is, but I just feel this strange anxiety and uneasiness. I feel like the Spirit is trying to tell me something or warn me about something, but I cannot for the life of me figure out what it is. I woke up at 3am feeling this way and I've been praying ever since to know what I need to do...

I told Zeke about it before he left for work this morning and we said another prayer together. I love him so much. He is such a great friend and support to me. He said maybe it's not something you can prevent, maybe you just need to be ready for it. Okay... scary. Whenever I feel like this, I turn to the scriptures.

One of my favorite scriptures says, "Yea, I know that I am nothing, as to my strength I am weak. Therefore, I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God. For in His strength I can do all things." Alma 26:12 (I found this one when I was in college.)

And I love this one, "Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God." D&C 101:16 (I found it when Beck was in the NICU)

I just want to feel at peace. I hope that I can relax today and everything will be okay...

So, dear family and friends, if I call each and every one of you today to check on you... I just love you and want to make sure you're okay :) I keep thinking about my sweet niece, Angee, she just had a miscarriage last week and I feel so heartbroken for her. And my Dad, whose health is very fragile. And my wonderful brother, Jody, a stay-at-home Dad to 3 small children, ages 4, 2, and 3 months. And my sweet husband, Zeke, I don't think he even went to sleep last night... he's trying to finish this semester and work full-time. And my son, Gabe, who isn't feeling well this morning. And my nieces and nephews, especially: Angee, Brintton, Brooke, Jake, Jacey, and Jaxon. They are so amazing. And I pray for them everyday to feel happy even though their Mommy is in heaven. I love my family so much! I pray that I can be an answer to someone's prayers today.

This is a picture of my family from 2007:
(minus Beck, Oskar, Samantha, Tyler, and Brendi)

E. coli 101: Everything you never wanted to know but should.

My son's 5th grade teacher affectionately labeled us the "E. coli clan" yesterday on Facebook and I thought it was funny. If you can laugh at it you can live with it, right? Thanks, Mr. Barker!

Well, I thought I'd fill you in on recent events. Here's a flashback in case you're just tuning in...

Kaia (my 6 year old) got sick on Oct. 1st, I took her to the Dr. and her tests came back positive for E. coli. Yeah, E. coli! These results will be sent to the state Health Department for further investigation. At this point, we're pretty sure it came from contaminated ground beef... I'm very freaked out about eating it again!

Then, on Oct. 7th, my 9 year old daughter, Zoe, got sick as well. And to even things up, on the 9th, my sons and I also got sick. My husband was a little sick on Saturday, but we thought he was going to be okay. It was good too, because he and the girls took care of us on Saturday and Sunday. We also had a Harry Potter movie marathon... fun, but we had to pause the movie every time one of us had to use the bathroom (um, like every 20 minutes or so). So we didn't get very far on the movie marathon... but you know the books are better than the movies anyway. :)

Tuesday night (the 12th) Zeke started getting sick too... oh boy, I keep thinking of the scripture in D&C where the Lord tells Joseph Smith "...thou art not yet as Job..." Now, I am not trying to compare our lives to Joseph Smith's (or Job's) -- no way. We have it so good! But it's been a rough 6 months or so, especially for Zeke. He's actually doing the best out of everyone, thank goodness.

Everyone has been in for blood tests and now all 6 of us will have to go to our doctor every Monday for the next 4 weeks or so to have our blood pressure checked and to leave a urine sample to make sure our kidneys are working properly. What a fun activity for family night! ha ha ha

Seriously, though, we are very lucky so far. I've been told we have a mild case. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like to have a serious case. Most people are hospitalized.

Did you know after you have ingested E. coli it can take 1 to 14 days for your body to show any symptoms? I didn't.
Did you know that E-coli can cause kidney failure? I didn't.
Did you know that even if you cook ground beef until it's "no longer pink" you could still be at risk for getting E-coli? I didn't.
Did you know that some people have suffered strokes, blindness, paralysis, and even death from E. coli? I didn't.
Did you know that E. coli has been classified as a potential bio-terrorist weapon? I didn't.

I just thought I'd use this bizarre and unfortunate "opportunity" to inform everyone. Please read up and take precautions. I thought I was being careful, I guess you just never know.

By the way, my friends and neighbors have been SO awesome helping us with groceries and dinners and such. Thank you Lorie, Jenny, Lisa, Denise and Kolton, Jennifer and Nathan, Diana, Nicki, and Jessica. You know you're sick when you ask your neighbor to please go buy some more toilet paper for you. Sheesh!

Thanks for your concern and prayers. I am so thankful for the power of the Priesthood. It is such a blessing to see my children getting better :)

Not good

Please say a prayer for us: we are ALL sick :(

Weekend Update... playdough and conference and parties

Well, it's Tuesday and I am so happy.... it's payday. Enough said.

Zeke has been working crazy hours still and I can't possibly imagine the day when this project is actually finished (for more reasons that one!) Yesterday, he worked from 6am to 7pm. He came home, ate dinner, and we had Family Home Evening which was very nice. Then at 10pm, he went back to work and came home at 6:30 this morning! Right now, he's sleeping. Poor guy, he is SO amazing. He is under a HUGE amount of pressure and added stress and I pray that he can get through this crazy time.

On Friday night, Gabe went to a birthday party and Zeke was at work. So the rest of us made play dough. By the way, my friend gave me THE best play dough recipe I've ever found. It's very easy to make and it doesn't stick to clothes and carpet. If you'd like the recipe, let me know.

Zeke had to work Saturday too. I was kinda bummed not to have him with us to watch Conference. But the kids and I made the best of it. We played with play dough and I embroidered a cute pillowcase for a birthday gift later that night.

Conference was amazing! I needed it so much. I took notes like crazy and I felt like several of the talks were just for me! But I always do. Some of my favorite talks were Pres. Uchtdorf's about simplifying things, Elder Holland's... I just love him!, and Elder Lawrence? about Courageous Parenting. I also loved Sister Wixom's... I could go on and on. We are so blessed.

Zeke came home around 3pm on Saturday. We all went to a birthday party for our neighbor's daughter at 4pm. Can I just tell you that I LOVE spending time with Latin-American people? They are so kind and generous. They throw THE best parties and cook THE best food. Although, I feel VERY white (in color and dancing abilities, hee hee.)

We are so blessed. Later, Zeke and Gabe went to the Priesthood Session and Zoe, Kaia, Beck and me had a dance party!! I don't know how to put videos up yet... but here's a picture of the girls after the birthday party. The lady that was doing the face painting was amazing as you can see!

Everyone went to bed and I stayed up and cleaned the house (a little) and read a book (a lot). Right now, I'm reading "The Red Pyramid" the first book in a new series by Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) It's a pretty good book, very interesting and fun so far.

Zeke has worked for ASI (his company) for over 8 years. During that time, he has NEVER had to work on a Sunday. What an incredible blessing for us. This project has been so crazy, I actually thought he might have to, but thankfully he didn't.

What a great day: big breakfast, awesome conference sessions, Twister, Settlers of Zarahemla, Monopoly, Peach Cobbler, and Bob Marley. And lots of nothing! Zeke hasn't been home this much since the end of August. I just realized I don't have any pictures of him, but he was there!:)

Oh, and of course the girls had to play dress up, they do that nearly everyday.

I think this picture looks like an album cover or something....

Plastic Surgery...I triple dog dare you!

Going under the knife? Several years ago, someone told me I should have plastic surgery. They said to me right in front of a crowd of people I have a "big nose" and I should get a nose job. Now, I'm not going to lie to you... it literally destroyed any bit of self-esteem I might have had and it took me a long time to get over it. I've always been self-conscious about my nose.

According to the world's standards, I might have a less than "perfect" nose. But then again, I've always been a bit of a non-conformist when it comes to the ways of the world. Looking back, I'm actually thankful I had that experience. It just made me all the more stubborn and firmly resolved that I would NEVER change my nose. God gave me my nose for a reason and I truly believe that. It's me. Zeke says I look "exotic" (I love you, babe!) I think I look like I'm from a foreign country or maybe like one of those old Greek statues...
maybe?... anyway...I'm not actually talking about that kind of plastic surgery.
I'm SO not into that!

I'm talking about something infinitely more important, something that can bring lasting happiness, peace of mind, and financial security. I'm talking about the kind of plastic surgery that Elder Holland and so many other Prophets and Apostles have referred to:

Cutting up our credit cards!!

Elder Holland: "As part of this general financial caution we encourage, if necessary, plastic surgery for both husband and wife. This is a very painless operation: Just cut up your credit cards. Unless you are prepared to use those cards under the strictest of conditions and restraints, you should not use them at all—at least not at high rates of interest. No convenience known to modern man has so jeopardized the financial stability of families, especially young struggling families, like the credit card.

Just as your religion should protect you against immorality and violence and other family tragedies, it will protect you against financial despair as well, if you will let it. Pay your tithes and offerings first. No greater financial protection can be offered you. Then simply budget what is left the rest of that month. Make do with what you have. Do without. Say no. You can hold your head high even if your clothing is not the most stylish nor your home the most regal. You can hold it high for the simple reason that it is not bent or bowed with the relentless burden of debt."

As I was serving in the Young Women organization, I felt very inspired and prompted to complete my Personal Progress. I really wanted to get "My Young Women" excited about Personal Progress. I thought the best way to do that would be by example. Well, it was an awesome life-changing experience to say the least!

One of the requirements was to "live within my means" for 3 months. OUCH! I instantly thought, "yeah right, that's only possible for single people without children, people who aren't in school, people who don't have high-deductible health insurance like we do" and on and on (I was making excuses). I seriously didn't think I'd be able to do it! But I knew if I wanted to receive my YW Recognition Award and show the girls "if I can do it, you can do it" then I would need to follow through and complete every part of the personal progress honestly and to the best of my ability.

So I gave it a try... I talked to Zeke and he was totally on board with it. I have always been the one "in charge" of the money (yeah, no pressure whatsoever, right?) I said a prayer (actually hundreds) and asked Heavenly Father to help us "live within our means" and to have faith. We cut up our credit cards and more importantly for us, we stopped using those stupid convenience checks they send in the mail. Oh, we always needed something. And even now, I have a list a foot long of things we need, but the question is: do we really need them right now? My perspective and the way I do things have completely changed. I have learned a great deal of patience and self-control.

Now I'm going to be honest, this has been one of the most-challenging and stressful years of my life (mostly because I'm suffering the consequences of past choices) but at the same time, this year has been one of THE most strengthening, miracle filled, spiritual, joyful/"peace of mind" kind of years I have ever had. Ever.

Since August 2009, we have not used a credit card for ANYTHING. Not once!
It has brought us the greatest blessings we have ever experienced. The continual peace and confidence we have felt is worth so much more than any fleeting thrill of buying something. We have changed how we do things and gone without some things people think they can't, but we have made our own fun and I think it's brought us closer as a family and made us more grateful for the little things in life. It's been hard, but with Heavenly Father's help, we've done it.
It IS possible!

Now, I know you're thinking of a million "reasons" why you need a credit card. Until last year, I was always making excuses, always justifying our use of credit cards (Zeke's still in school, our insurance premium went up, Zeke got another pay cut at work, the water heater is broken, the dishwasher is broken, doctor bills, Christmas presents, school pictures, or maybe I just don't feel like making dinner, etc, etc, etc.)

What I realized is that all of these excuses are really just a lack of Faith. You may think I'm simple minded, maybe I am, but the Lord has said he would provide for our needs (see 3 Ne. 13:28-34). Do we believe Him? Do we let Him help us? Or do we trust in the "arm of flesh" (see 2 Ne. 4:34) and swipe that little card every time we need an extra $20 for groceries, a tank of gas, or even a new water heater? Zeke and I were laughing about that analogy of trusting in the "arm of flesh"... I'm picturing my flabby "relief society arm" jiggling every time I swipe a credit card through that little machine... it makes me laugh every time!

After getting rid of all of our credit cards and truly living within our means for over a year, I came across a scripture that I don't recall ever reading before (maybe I wasn't ready for it yet): D&C 111:5: "Concern not yourselves about your debts, for I will give you power to pay them." To me, this was Heavenly Father telling me, okay, you're doing your part and now I can do mine. Good job!
I feel a greater peace than I have ever known in my life! I feel confident when I say my prayers and ask Heavenly Father to bless us and specifically to help us financially. I know we are doing our part and He will do His part. (see D&C 82:10)

I've realized that "living within our means" is a gospel principle we can be perfect at. Just like paying tithing, it is something we can either do or NOT do. There's no gray area (not anymore at least). I feel peace knowing that I am being obedient. I feel so grateful when I recognize the blessings that come pouring in because of my choice to "live within my means". We have been overwhelmed and amazed at the incredible miracles that have taken place in our lives this last year or so. Everything began to fall into place as soon as we took that leap of faith, got out our credit cards and did some serious plastic surgery!

Say a prayer and get out your scissors -- I triple dog dare you!!

"If you opt for any other way of life or try to live only the parts of the gospel that seem convenient, such a choice will cheat you of the full, resplendent joy and happiness for which you were designed by our loving Father in Heaven and His Son." -- Marcus B. Nash of the Quorum of the Seventy