Monday, April 18, 2011

Compassion and a Question

This is a wonderful story that has been circulating through emails for awhile. I had forgotten about it and my sister-in-law shared it with me again. Thanks, Dani! I love this story so much I want to share it with you! I truly believe that we are here to help each other and we can make a big difference in someone's life. (You might want to get a tissue handy...)

There is a nine-year-old boy sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there
is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks
that his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this
has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they will never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her
eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward
him, a classmate names Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with
water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl
of water in the boy's lap. The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while
is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the
object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym
shorts to put on while his pants dry out... All the other children are on
their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is
wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been
his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but
they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, You clutz!"

Finally at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy
walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."


I hope I can be the answer to someone's prayer today. I hope others will show compassion to me.

Okay, now I'm whining...

I'm stressing a bit right now... I need some advice. I used to be the type of person that if someone is bugging me, I go right to that person and try in a nice way to explain what I'm upset about. You know, try to work it out and let them know how I feel? Well, the problem is I've had that backfire horribly a few times and now I'm pretty hesitant to "say what I need to say".

Instead, I've been taking my problems to Heavenly Father in prayer and for the most part just trying to love people more and smile at those who frustrate me. It has worked really well for minor things and one-time misunderstandings and I'm ashamed to admit that I usually realize that I was the one at fault. Even if my mistake was just assuming something. Never assume anything.

However, I've really been having trouble getting along with someone for over 3 or 4 years now. I try to be patient and just "walk it off" but there have been several times that have become much more frequent lately that I feel like she is putting me down and well, quite frankly, being BEYOND very rude. She talks over the top of me when we're with a group of women and if I have to change my plans she gets really upset and acts like it's the end of the world and I'm a complete idiot. She treats me like I am not capable of doing my part, that she has to hold my hand and put up with me. (Maybe I am all this, but again, I've tried to look past her quirks and issues and make it work.) After this weekend, I'm ready to be done with our friendship altogether. (Again, I tend to be dramatic if you didn't already know.) Zeke says I'm being prideful, which I know is true. I don't care what she thinks of me, but at the same time, I don't have to deal with her, do I?

What would you do?


  1. I love that story. I've never heard it before, thanks for sharing.

    I'll have to think a bit about the other part of your post..

  2. No, you don't have to deal with her if it is avoidable. Does she read this blog?

  3. Lesa, thanks.

    "Snake" (ha ha ha) I don't know if she reads my blog... I just don't want to cause a fuss, but I feel like I can't take it anymore!

  4. Remind me sometime to tell you about the time I had to break up with a friend. I'm of the thought that you don't have to put up with people mistreating you. If you are doing what you need to do and have given it your best shot? Then that's all you need to do. If she is still mistreating you, life is too short to keep people who don't uplift you around. If she asks, tell her why, but I don't think distancing yourself is a bad thing. Taking care of yourself isn't a bad thing. Forgiveness / forgetfulness are two separate things. If you can forgive her of her mistreatment, then I don't think you are being prideful. If you can say you gave it your best effort, I don't think you are being prideful. But that doesn't mean you have to keep people who mistreat you around. Forgiving and forgetting are just...different.

  5. What an amazing story. Its so true, we are all in the same boat, just with different problems, & issues we all need to be there more for one another.....what came to mind when I read your question was its her that has the insecurity. When she takes over the conversation, or over talks you, that is her insecurity. She see's in u strengths that she doesn't have so some how in her mind she's trying to out do you. I bet if you unpeeled her layers you'd see that she actually respects you, is envious of your strength, creativity & all your other qualities and she feels she don't have them. IDK just what came to my mind. IF you have to work with her on things you may need to talk to her let her know how you feel, but if not...just start giving her the compliments that maybe she lacks in getting. :) good luck

  6. Tawnya, I agree with what you said, normally I just don't hang out with people that aren't really my "friend" but I kind of have to make some BIG changes in order to not be around her so much and I'm not sure if that's right yet. It would "rock the boat" too much if you know what I mean.

    Bree! I think this might be the answer... I'll try it. She struggles a lot and I need to love her more for sure.:)

    Thanks, everyone, this is all so silly, I guess, but it's nice to have some input from people outside of the situation.

  7. Lacy- You are such a sweet person! Whoever this is that is treating you this way certainly knows you are a kind person. She probably wishes she could be more like you. I would distance myself as much as possible but still be as nice as possible too. It defiantly is a tough situation. Good luck! You have a good heart!

  8. Lacy, you are such a nice person. JUST DUMP HER! but if it is me just tell me to my face :) J/K I am sorry I always stress about stuff like this. You are always the answers to my prayers. I love talking to you and thank you for wathing my little kids. It means so much to me. :)

  9. I have pretty strong feelings on this so I have come straight to the comment box without reading what others have written already. If there is a repeat, I'm sorry.

    Lacy, I think you are one of the most Christlike people I have ever 'met'. In order to be Christlike we have to love everyone. We do NOT have to be friends with them and subject ourselves to any kind of abuse. A person being treated the way you describe is being abused.

    Ending a friendship to protect your self esteem is not a bad thing. If someone is toxic to you, distance yourself.

    Continue to pray for strength, but do what's best for you and your family.

    If you serve together in the ward, it's appropriate to talk to your priesthood leader about it and if you are VT companions, let the RS Pres know you are having some trouble.

    Heavenly Father loves YOU! Keep Him in mind and you will make the right choice for you.

  10. Lacy, I'm so happy you posted this! I'm having a similar problem (but very different, I can tell) with someone I used to be very close to. One of my best friends from camp. Our first summer we were inseparable. After camp we stayed in touch every day and then went back to camp together this last summer. I don't know what happened, but things drastically changed in our relationship. Suddenly she stopped talking to me which was so strange considering we were stuck on an island together so we had to be with each other every day, all day. I talked to another girl who this friend had seemed to cling onto and she told me that this girl now hated me because one of my other dear friends from camp didn't like her and so that meant I obviously didn't like her anymore either. Ummm... bizarre thinking!! She became extremely rude and would openly tell lies about me (in my presence!) and was just so cruel. It still hurts me to think about some of the things she said and did. Michelle is very sensitive as I'm sure you know and she cried nearly every day because of the things this friend did. I have done everything I can think of to try to convince her that I still care about her and love her for her not necessarily for what she does and that I want to be friends with her, but she still has "issues" with me. I'm just ready to drop her and forget I ever had anything to do with her, but knowing me I couldn't do that. Anyway, I appreciate you for posting this because I can use some advice too!

  11. I agree with Dedra and Tawnya. You're great; don't let anyone treat you badly.

    Also, I'm worried about you--Logan's flooding is on the news. Is your house ok?

  12. Lacy, I loved that story! If it were me (and I don't know the whole story) but from what you said I would sit down and let her know how you feel. Just use the "I feel this way when you do this" phrases. If you don't let her know how your feeling she may not know. I hope everything works out. Hugs

  13. So I had an experience like that and Jim tried to tell me that I was just reading into the situation too much. I knew how she treated me though and I confronted her about it. It's been a difficult situation because since I confronted her, I have found that she has done the same to other ladies. She has improved how she treats me, but she does still have the attitude of "one upping" me. I finally came to the conclusion that I will be her friend for her and help her when she needs help, but when I need a friend/help, I will go to another. Good luck. It's so hard dealing with something like this.

  14. That is a sweet story and the timing is perfect. We had an incident at Aidan's ball game tonight. We couldn't find Alex. Turns out she was hiding because she had gone to use the bathroom, the doors were locked, and she'd had an accident. Nothing that mom, a coat around the waist, and a quick trip home couldn't solve. We all need caring and compassion.

    I had a similar problem with a pair of girls in my ward. They would kind of gang up on you. The worst part was that they would drag the kids into it. They were always putting me and my family down. I tried my best to avoid them but living in a small town, in the same ward, with kids the same age makes it difficult.

    Well, the Lord had an answer to my frustrations. It was not really what I wanted. I was assigned to be one of their visiting teachers. It was really hard at first. But over time I learned that what other people have commented here is true, she was just trying to cover-up her own insecurities. Unfortunately, she was doing this at others' expense.

    Well, we are not best friends by any means, but now I do have a better mind set and easier time dealing with her. (At least I am no longer wanting to hide when I see her coming.)

  15. My two cents, for what it's worth... Don't go out of your way to spend time with her, but when you are in the same company, be as kind as you can be. When you know you will be interacting, pray ahead of time to not get angry and repeat the prayer to yourself as many times as you need to during your time together. Sounds corny, but this has helped me several times.

  16. So here's my late vote! It seems like it's clearly come to the point where something needs to be done or sanity will be lost. You really can only take/vent/bury so much before it just isn't worth it anymore. So my advice, should you plan a confrontation (that whole word leaves me shaking with nervousness!) pray with all of your heart before doing so. Come up with a plan and ask the Lord to bless and soften both hearts. I absolutely hate confrontation but there have been times when it is the only possible thing to do. With the right attitude and spirit, it will go well. You may even be surprised at the outcome. I've kept friends, earned respect, and gained more understanding of people that way than I ever thought possible.

    Good luck! Oh, and if you need an excuse to get out of something I am ALWAYS willing to help out! I'm great at impromptu anything to help out a friend in need!


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