Monday, January 28, 2013

Wasn't planning to bleed today...

Sometimes I just HAVE to write. Sometimes I can't function any more until I do. I have to drop whatever I'm doing and just write down what's in my head until my head feels clear. Get it out. Write it down. Let it come alive on paper. Let my mind utilize that space for new thoughts. Today is one of those days. 

I have SO much to do. I always do. Today especially. Last week I substituted at my friend's preschool 6 hours a day for 2 days, so I'm a bit behind on other things. 

It's okay though. I honestly enjoyed it. I was a bit tired by Friday evening, but I made it. The kids are absolutely ADORABLE. Really. The best part is, I got to take Beck with me. ;)

My friend has asked me to teach next year three days a week and just half a day. I'm so excited! I think it will be a great fit for my life right now in lots of ways. I really enjoy the kids and look forward to the teaching experience if I'm ever to become the "Ms. Frizzle" I want to be.

It's so fun to see kids at the preschool that I know their families as well. I can see their parent's facial expressions and mannerisms through them. How they stand and what they say and how they scrunch up their nose when they talk or smile. So amazing! I also got two special pictures drawn just for me -- Thanks, Jack and Keegan!
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I'm still working on the quilt. Since January 26th is past, I'm shooting for February 1st :)
I'm so close. Last week, I remembered why I don't sew as much as I'd like and why I always stop in the middle of a project: 3 of my finger tips cracked on both sides of my nails. It is SO painful. I had to take a few days off to let them heal up again. Zeke says I always sew in the winter too -- he's right -- and there may be a correlation there since my hands are already dry. Oh, it's discouraging, but I'm not giving up!
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Got my first "Bountiful Basket" on Saturday. Thanks, Nicole, for the suggestion!! I know I'm behind on that, but wow, it was fun and I look forward to the next one. Pineapple and watermelon in January? Okay!
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Our house is *almost* done. Seriously. They are mudding, taping, and painting this week. Then, comes the flooring, lighting, interior doors, cabinets, exterior siding, brick...
It sounds like a lot, but it's going SO fast. 

Isn't it funny how you start something and you think it's going to take SO long? 
Then, you look back and it wasn't very long at all.

We've lived in this little apartment for SEVEN months! Wow. 
And now, in 5 or 6 weeks (hopefully) we'll move again.
We are SO blessed and I know it is a miracle from God.

I'm SO excited. I don't care how much we get moved in that first day, but when they give us the keys, the kids and I have decided we are taking sleeping bags and toothbrushes and spending the night on the floor if we have to. It's been an amazing adventure and to come this far and realize we're closer as a family than we were before we started? Even better. :)

Here's me in our freshly sheet-rocked kitchen! 

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Another idea... Do you think someone can be too nice? I try to be nice to everyone. EVERYONE. Sincerely nice. I do. However, the last 10 years or so, the thought keeps creeping into the back of my mind that you CAN be too nice. I'm afraid sometimes I'm TOO nice. Not in a good way.

The last few years or so (as in, ever since I got on Facebook in 2008), this "too nice" thing has become more and more apparent. I'm friendly. I know a LOT of people from high school, college, church, my children's school, our neighborhood, etc. I like people. I love friends. I love to share positive things that lift people up. I love to laugh. I love sarcasm and inside jokes. I love making other people laugh. 

Lately though, there's been a person that continually puts negative comments on my Facebook and well, it's just become obnoxious. I've had family members send me private messages saying, "What's up with so-and-so? What's her problem?" The comments have been so childish and out of line I actually feel embarrassed for her. They try to sound "NICE" like, well, "if it was me I would NEVER do that, but you know, if that works for you", but NO, it's RUDE.

Comments about my children and their choices and appearance. REALLY? And our house. Oh, our house! Seriously, I should not be made to feel guilty because we are able to build this house. It is a huge blessing and miracle for us. Zeke worked hard to finish school and was blessed to get a really good job. The pictures and posts I share on Facebook are for family and friends that love and support us and want to see the progress.

I'm certain not everyone likes what we're doing or approves of it, (and that's okay) but THANK YOU for not saying so. Seriously. 

The really sad thing is, this person, was, I thought, a really good friend of mine. SO "top-notch" in my book if I had a "100 favorite people list" she would have been on it, but over the last few years, (I can actually pinpoint it to a specific day), she has changed. Poisoned by jealousy. Prone to excessive negative criticism about everything we do and/or don't do. It's not my idea of a friend. Not at all.



I had a really good talk with my husband on Sunday. Um, he's wonderful, by the way. Seriously, wonderful. I'm SO thankful to have him in my life. 

Anyway, long story short. He suggested I "unfriend" her. (Who knew that would be an almost universally recognized term 10 years ago??) Wow. That's BIG for me. I'm always trying to be "too nice", trying to avoid conflict, trying to put up with people being "not nice" and trying to tell myself "they're probably right" and "I must deserve it somehow". But you know, when he said that and I considered it... I felt a great peace. It's okay. I deserve better. So I did it. Negative thoughts and feelings? Gone. Wow.

This year is going to be a good one. 

Balance, Exactness, Focus

15 comments:

  1. Crap. Did you actually unfriend someone? I'm so proud of you! And, of course, totally want to know who it was. Can't wait until Wednesday! ;)

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    1. Yes, I know. It was HARD. You know me -- thanks for saying so. Baby steps, right? I actually went through my list and unfriended about 20 people... It felt good. And yes, Wednesday cannot come soon enough! ;)

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  2. A hahaha! SOrry, that was in response to Tawnya's comment. And too nice is only bad if you don't really mean it, then it's just patronizing. But genuinely nice... not a problem in the world! and again, soooo excited for your house!!

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    1. Yes, I just feel like I'm smiling behind clenched teeth sometimes and that's not doing anyone a favor!

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  3. I had a similar experience a few years ago and unfriended a bunch of people. I then eventually quit FB until my blog got big enough that I needed a FB page for it. A few months ago I got a really negative faith shaking experience with several members of my stake on FB and I decided I had to quit. I understand the need to defriend, I hope you feel great after doing it. Sometimes that not being teathered in reality really makes ppl feel like they can say things they wouldn't really say in real life. Sad, but I hope you feel better now after that.

    And horray for new kitchens!!!

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    1. I'm so sorry -- that sounds really awful! FB can be a strange "place". I totally agree that people say things on there they wouldn't say in real life. It's crazy. Thanks for your thoughts. Good to hear from you! :)

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  4. I've often wondered the same thing about being "too nice." I sincerely LOVE my friends, and care about my neighbors & acquaintances, but I think sometimes I freak people out by caring too much. I was also in the habit of taking crap from people who didn't have my best interests in mind...but this year has been a big one for me as far as Letting Go of the people/things that bring me down. And you know what? After I cleared up my mental "friends list", I have a lot more time for my REAL friends. It is liberating.
    PS-I love you...don't be freaked out :)

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    1. You know, to hear that you are doing the same sort of thing helps confirm to me what I'm doing is right. I couldn't find the words, but when you said, " in the habit of taking crap from people who didn't have my best interests in mind" -- that is EXACTLY what I've been doing and that is the "too nice" that I'm trying to fix -- for ME.

      I love you too! and we need to get together -- I know we always say that, but I really mean it. I miss you and your vibrant energy and smile :)

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    2. We're seriously on the same path right now...good to know I'm not alone. :)

      And yes, let's do something SOON!

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  5. Lacy, I've heard you mention the "too nice" thing on FB before, perhaps because of the same "friend". You are someone I look up to, admire, and want to emulate because you have such a positive vibe and beautiful spirit. I don't know you well, but was thrilled when you accepted my friend request on FB just so I can be a part of your amazingness on a regular basis.
    I love your quote from Eleanor Roosevelt - so true. Finally, for some people like me, it takes time to learn to be supportive rather than jealous. I have recognized that your life is on a different path than mine, and, therefore, you receive different blessings than I do: But no matter what, we are BOTH blessed beyond belief, simply in different ways, and that's perfect.
    Please don't change - keep being positive and nice, as they are the only things in this that help you "enjoy the journey" and "endure it well".

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    1. Thanks, Debbie, that's really sweet of you. You have been so welcoming and friendly in the new ward. I look forward to getting to know you better :) I like what you said about people being blessed in different ways, but still both are blessed. That's hard to remember sometimes, but so important.

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  6. I sure do Love you! There have been things I have struggled with lately and by reading several of your recent posts, I have found comfort, peace and answers. I am sorry you have had to deal with this not so nice person. Jim and I have had conversations about a same situation. It hurts! We both just think that their self esteem must be so low that they are that way to others to try and make themselves feel better. I like Shaunta's comment....clearing up the mental friends list and making time for real friens!

    I am so excited for you and your new house!

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    1. Kristi, YOU are amazing and I love you too. You've always been such a good friend to me. So genuine and real.

      I'm sorry that you're struggling too -- it's good to rally together and realize we're not alone AND there's still nice people.

      I agree that some people must feel pretty miserable to feel like that have to bring others down or judge them.

      Shauntae is right. :)

      I would love to come see you again sometime.

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