Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

It's been awhile since I've posted. As usual, I've been super busy. However, there's a BIG difference now. I don't feel so frazzled and stressed. Sure, there are crazy days and stressful moments, but overall, life actually FEELS different even though when I look at my calendar I'm busier than I've ever been before. My house pretty much looks the same too...  (remember when I was stressing about all the clutter and lack of organization? I don't think it's really that bad. I'm still following Flylady and it's definitely helping our house-- but the change I really needed occurred in my head.)

What's different? TWO things.

NUMBER ONE:
Since the end of August, I've been teaching preschool. Just 2.5 hours a day, 3 days a week. It doesn't sound like too much time, but I've definitely had to adjust my schedule and work smarter to get everything done at home. You know what? I feel GOOD.

The kids are absolutely adorable and they're always making us laugh with the cute things they say and do. I really enjoy being with them and teaching them how to recognize their letters and learn their sounds. It's very rewarding to see the progress they are making already.

I also LOVE the lady I teach with. Her name is Julie and I think I did a blog post about her awhile back. She is... well, she's just plain AWESOME! We have a lot of fun together and I really admire her. She has published the "Read at Three" reading program we use and other preschool's have purchased it to use as well.

So basically, I really look forward to "work" every other day. It's a nice break from the routine of errands and cleaning the house (which never really ends, right?). I haven't worked since?? Gosh, I had a small part-time job back in 2007 where I helped a neighbor with their home-based business (I think it was less than a year?). Other than that, I used to work in the "Bug Lab" at Utah State University in the Fisheries and Wildlife Department back in... oh, 1998. Yeah, it's been awhile.

It feels good to be contributing to something worthwhile and to spend time with the preschool kids and Julie is definitely good for the soul! I feel so blessed to have them in my life. Julie is a woman of God and I would do well to learn from and follow her example. :) Here we are on a field trip to the Fire Station:

A couple weeks ago we went to our friend's Oktoberfest. Just for the record, it was a LOT of fun! Lots of authentic German food and lots of fun people to visit with. Anyway, I've always been and always will be VERY proud to be a mother, especially a "stay-at-home" mother. It is a VERY big sacrifice with immeasurable results! However, whenever someone asks you "what do you do?" and you say, "I'm a stay-at-home mom" they almost always say something to the effect of, "oh, that's nice, good for you" and there's not much else to say. That's fine. I get that. Actually, a lot of the women I associate with are also stay-at-home moms so they get it too. :) They smile a knowing smile and we always have a lot to talk about.

Well, the Oktoberfest was the first social gathering I've been to since I've started teaching preschool and where I didn't already know a lot of the people. So with the regular chit chat, I got a lot of the "what do you do?" and I would say, "I'm raising 4 children AND I teach preschool." They would respond, "Oh, wow, you teach preschool? That's great!" Then, they would ask about our reading program and such, and wow, it felt so good to be part of something as wonderful as this preschool!

I can't wait for our Halloween Party tomorrow! Of course, I will be dressed as Luna Lovegood. I don't think the kids will know who I really am, but I have to celebrate my love of Harry Potter in some way each year. :) Okay...

NUMBER TWO:
General Conference. This was during the first week of October and it was absolutely INCREDIBLE. As usual, I took notes on nearly every talk. I felt very inspired and strengthened. I truly felt like some of the talks were specific answers to my prayers. However, this time, I did something else. Something more. Something I'm still doing.

The very first talk really inspired me. It was from Elder Robert D. Hales (one of my favorite Apostles --I got to meet him a few years ago) and it was called, "General Conference: Strengthening Faith and Testimony". I really felt the need to do more than listen to all of the talks and even more than taking notes on each of them. I felt like I should use them as a road map or guide book for my everyday life until the next conference in April.

Before I forget, did I tell you I've been serving in the Relief Society Presidency? It has been such a WONDERFUL blessing in my life. I enjoy it so much. I really feel like I'm helping others and making new friends. Our Presidency has so much fun together and our meetings are always very inspiring and strengthening to me. Denise is our President and she is truly one-of-a-kind. She is one of those genuine and unfailingly kind people. There isn't a mean bone in her body. She sees the good in everyone and is quick to let them know. She goes out of her way to help everyone AND somehow she still finds time to be a wonderful mother and wife and run a full-time day care! She is SO fun to be with too.

Again, Denise is another very special woman of God. It is no coincidence Heavenly Father has put these women and many others in my life at THIS time. I need them. They help me to stay strong and to do good things. She said to all of us right after conference or was it Time Out for Women? I can't remember, but she said how important it is to continue to study all of the conference talks AFTER conference.

Denise heard someone say, "A talk a day keeps Satan away." 

That has really stayed with me! She said she listens to a talk every morning as she's getting ready for the day. So, I thought I would try it. I usually listen to music or nothing at all and I thought this would be a good time to focus when my mind is fresh and the kids are at school.

I have to tell you, it has literally been life-changing!!! 10 minutes a day. LIFE CHANGING! I have felt a greater desire to pray and read my scriptures. I have felt greater peace and daily inspiration. I have felt HAPPIER! I often find myself listening to 2 or 3 or even more talks. I carry my phone around the house with me as I make my bed and load the dishwasher and start a load of laundry. It has been a HUGE blessing in my life and I hope to do it as often as I can.

Here's *just a few* of my favorite talks from the October 2013 General Conference:

"Windows of Heaven" by Elder David A. Bednar

"Like a Broken Vessel" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"Called of Him to Declare His Word" by Randy D. Funk

"The Strength to Endure" by Richard J. Maynes

"Look Up" by Elder Adrian Ochoa

"We Never Walk Alone" by President Thomas S. Monson

If you prayerfully read or listen to these talks I know it will bless your life.

Now that I think about it, I don't know if the "two things" are actually preschool and conference or Julie and Denise, but either way, my life has been changed for the better.

Wasn't planning to bleed today...

Sometimes I just HAVE to write. Sometimes I can't function any more until I do. I have to drop whatever I'm doing and just write down what's in my head until my head feels clear. Get it out. Write it down. Let it come alive on paper. Let my mind utilize that space for new thoughts. Today is one of those days. 

I have SO much to do. I always do. Today especially. Last week I substituted at my friend's preschool 6 hours a day for 2 days, so I'm a bit behind on other things. 

It's okay though. I honestly enjoyed it. I was a bit tired by Friday evening, but I made it. The kids are absolutely ADORABLE. Really. The best part is, I got to take Beck with me. ;)

My friend has asked me to teach next year three days a week and just half a day. I'm so excited! I think it will be a great fit for my life right now in lots of ways. I really enjoy the kids and look forward to the teaching experience if I'm ever to become the "Ms. Frizzle" I want to be.

It's so fun to see kids at the preschool that I know their families as well. I can see their parent's facial expressions and mannerisms through them. How they stand and what they say and how they scrunch up their nose when they talk or smile. So amazing! I also got two special pictures drawn just for me -- Thanks, Jack and Keegan!

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I'm still working on the quilt. Since January 26th is past, I'm shooting for February 1st :)

I'm so close. Last week, I remembered why I don't sew as much as I'd like and why I always stop in the middle of a project: 3 of my finger tips cracked on both sides of my nails. It is SO painful. I had to take a few days off to let them heal up again. Zeke says I always sew in the winter too -- he's right -- and there may be a correlation there since my hands are already dry. Oh, it's discouraging, but I'm not giving up!

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Got my first "Bountiful Basket" on Saturday. Thanks, Nicole, for the suggestion!! I know I'm behind on that, but wow, it was fun and I look forward to the next one. Pineapple and watermelon in January? Okay!

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Our house is *almost* done. Seriously. They are mudding, taping, and painting this week. Then, comes the flooring, lighting, interior doors, cabinets, exterior siding, brick...

It sounds like a lot, but it's going SO fast. 

Isn't it funny how you start something and you think it's going to take SO long? 

Then, you look back and it wasn't very long at all.

We've lived in this little apartment for SEVEN months! Wow. 

And now, in 5 or 6 weeks (hopefully) we'll move again.

We are SO blessed and I know it is a miracle from God.

I'm SO excited. I don't care how much we get moved in that first day, but when they give us the keys, the kids and I have decided we are taking sleeping bags and toothbrushes and spending the night on the floor if we have to. It's been an amazing adventure and to come this far and realize we're closer as a family than we were before we started? Even better. :)

Here's me in our freshly sheet-rocked kitchen! 

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Another idea... Do you think someone can be too nice? I try to be nice to everyone. EVERYONE. Sincerely nice. I do. However, the last 10 years or so, the thought keeps creeping into the back of my mind that you CAN be too nice. I'm afraid sometimes I'm TOO nice. Not in a good way.

The last few years or so (as in, ever since I got on Facebook in 2008), this "too nice" thing has become more and more apparent. I'm friendly. I know a LOT of people from high school, college, church, my children's school, our neighborhood, etc. I like people. I love friends. I love to share positive things that lift people up. I love to laugh. I love sarcasm and inside jokes. I love making other people laugh. 

Lately though, there's been a person that continually puts negative comments on my Facebook and well, it's just become obnoxious. I've had family members send me private messages saying, "What's up with so-and-so? What's her problem?" The comments have been so childish and out of line I actually feel embarrassed for her. They try to sound "NICE" like, well, "if it was me I would NEVER do that, but you know, if that works for you", but NO, it's RUDE.

Comments about my children and their choices and appearance. REALLY? And our house. Oh, our house! Seriously, I should not be made to feel guilty because we are able to build this house. It is a huge blessing and miracle for us. Zeke worked hard to finish school and was blessed to get a really good job. The pictures and posts I share on Facebook are for family and friends that love and support us and want to see the progress.

I'm certain not everyone likes what we're doing or approves of it, (and that's okay) but THANK YOU for not saying so. Seriously. 

The really sad thing is, this person, was, I thought, a really good friend of mine. SO "top-notch" in my book if I had a "100 favorite people list" she would have been on it, but over the last few years, (I can actually pinpoint it to a specific day), she has changed. Poisoned by jealousy. Prone to excessive negative criticism about everything we do and/or don't do. It's not my idea of a friend. Not at all.

I had a really good talk with my husband on Sunday. Um, he's wonderful, by the way. Seriously, wonderful. I'm SO thankful to have him in my life. 

Anyway, long story short. He suggested I "unfriend" her. (Who knew that would be an almost universally recognized term 10 years ago??) Wow. That's BIG for me. I'm always trying to be "too nice", trying to avoid conflict, trying to put up with people being "not nice" and trying to tell myself "they're probably right" and "I must deserve it somehow". But you know, when he said that and I considered it... I felt a great peace. It's okay. I deserve better. So I did it. Negative thoughts and feelings? Gone. Wow.

This year is going to be a good one. 

Balance, Exactness, Focus