Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

It's been awhile since I've posted. As usual, I've been super busy. However, there's a BIG difference now. I don't feel so frazzled and stressed. Sure, there are crazy days and stressful moments, but overall, life actually FEELS different even though when I look at my calendar I'm busier than I've ever been before. My house pretty much looks the same too...  (remember when I was stressing about all the clutter and lack of organization? I don't think it's really that bad. I'm still following Flylady and it's definitely helping our house-- but the change I really needed occurred in my head.)

What's different? TWO things.

NUMBER ONE:
Since the end of August, I've been teaching preschool. Just 2.5 hours a day, 3 days a week. It doesn't sound like too much time, but I've definitely had to adjust my schedule and work smarter to get everything done at home. You know what? I feel GOOD.

The kids are absolutely adorable and they're always making us laugh with the cute things they say and do. I really enjoy being with them and teaching them how to recognize their letters and learn their sounds. It's very rewarding to see the progress they are making already.

I also LOVE the lady I teach with. Her name is Julie and I think I did a blog post about her awhile back. She is... well, she's just plain AWESOME! We have a lot of fun together and I really admire her. She has published the "Read at Three" reading program we use and other preschool's have purchased it to use as well.

So basically, I really look forward to "work" every other day. It's a nice break from the routine of errands and cleaning the house (which never really ends, right?). I haven't worked since?? Gosh, I had a small part-time job back in 2007 where I helped a neighbor with their home-based business (I think it was less than a year?). Other than that, I used to work in the "Bug Lab" at Utah State University in the Fisheries and Wildlife Department back in... oh, 1998. Yeah, it's been awhile.

It feels good to be contributing to something worthwhile and to spend time with the preschool kids and Julie is definitely good for the soul! I feel so blessed to have them in my life. Julie is a woman of God and I would do well to learn from and follow her example. :) Here we are on a field trip to the Fire Station:

A couple weeks ago we went to our friend's Oktoberfest. Just for the record, it was a LOT of fun! Lots of authentic German food and lots of fun people to visit with. Anyway, I've always been and always will be VERY proud to be a mother, especially a "stay-at-home" mother. It is a VERY big sacrifice with immeasurable results! However, whenever someone asks you "what do you do?" and you say, "I'm a stay-at-home mom" they almost always say something to the effect of, "oh, that's nice, good for you" and there's not much else to say. That's fine. I get that. Actually, a lot of the women I associate with are also stay-at-home moms so they get it too. :) They smile a knowing smile and we always have a lot to talk about.

Well, the Oktoberfest was the first social gathering I've been to since I've started teaching preschool and where I didn't already know a lot of the people. So with the regular chit chat, I got a lot of the "what do you do?" and I would say, "I'm raising 4 children AND I teach preschool." They would respond, "Oh, wow, you teach preschool? That's great!" Then, they would ask about our reading program and such, and wow, it felt so good to be part of something as wonderful as this preschool!

I can't wait for our Halloween Party tomorrow! Of course, I will be dressed as Luna Lovegood. I don't think the kids will know who I really am, but I have to celebrate my love of Harry Potter in some way each year. :) Okay...

NUMBER TWO:
General Conference. This was during the first week of October and it was absolutely INCREDIBLE. As usual, I took notes on nearly every talk. I felt very inspired and strengthened. I truly felt like some of the talks were specific answers to my prayers. However, this time, I did something else. Something more. Something I'm still doing.

The very first talk really inspired me. It was from Elder Robert D. Hales (one of my favorite Apostles --I got to meet him a few years ago) and it was called, "General Conference: Strengthening Faith and Testimony". I really felt the need to do more than listen to all of the talks and even more than taking notes on each of them. I felt like I should use them as a road map or guide book for my everyday life until the next conference in April.

Before I forget, did I tell you I've been serving in the Relief Society Presidency? It has been such a WONDERFUL blessing in my life. I enjoy it so much. I really feel like I'm helping others and making new friends. Our Presidency has so much fun together and our meetings are always very inspiring and strengthening to me. Denise is our President and she is truly one-of-a-kind. She is one of those genuine and unfailingly kind people. There isn't a mean bone in her body. She sees the good in everyone and is quick to let them know. She goes out of her way to help everyone AND somehow she still finds time to be a wonderful mother and wife and run a full-time day care! She is SO fun to be with too.

Again, Denise is another very special woman of God. It is no coincidence Heavenly Father has put these women and many others in my life at THIS time. I need them. They help me to stay strong and to do good things. She said to all of us right after conference or was it Time Out for Women? I can't remember, but she said how important it is to continue to study all of the conference talks AFTER conference.

Denise heard someone say, "A talk a day keeps Satan away." 

That has really stayed with me! She said she listens to a talk every morning as she's getting ready for the day. So, I thought I would try it. I usually listen to music or nothing at all and I thought this would be a good time to focus when my mind is fresh and the kids are at school.

I have to tell you, it has literally been life-changing!!! 10 minutes a day. LIFE CHANGING! I have felt a greater desire to pray and read my scriptures. I have felt greater peace and daily inspiration. I have felt HAPPIER! I often find myself listening to 2 or 3 or even more talks. I carry my phone around the house with me as I make my bed and load the dishwasher and start a load of laundry. It has been a HUGE blessing in my life and I hope to do it as often as I can.

Here's *just a few* of my favorite talks from the October 2013 General Conference:

"Windows of Heaven" by Elder David A. Bednar

"Like a Broken Vessel" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"Called of Him to Declare His Word" by Randy D. Funk

"The Strength to Endure" by Richard J. Maynes

"Look Up" by Elder Adrian Ochoa

"We Never Walk Alone" by President Thomas S. Monson

If you prayerfully read or listen to these talks I know it will bless your life.

Now that I think about it, I don't know if the "two things" are actually preschool and conference or Julie and Denise, but either way, my life has been changed for the better.

Conference with a cold and my favorite scripture.

8:30am: Here's my kitchen in all of its horror...

If you could see it in real life you would understand why I'm sitting here typing... it's TRASHED! The other side of the room looks just about the same minus the food. I wanted to take a picture, but my phone is full, of course. Life can be so overwhelming. I can't seem to breathe. (ha! quite literally at the moment)

It was Conference Weekend and I've had a nasty cold since Thursday. Not a good combination. I've spent a lot of time on the couch... blah.

Oh, and just to add insult to injury -- I went outside yesterday for a moment of fresh air and I got stung by a wasp! I haven't been stung by a wasp or bee since I was a little girl! So weird! OUCH! (By the way, lavender oil works great on wasp stings -- the swelling and pain were gone in less than an hour.)

For the record, my sweet hubby and kids have been helpful -- bringing me tissues and cleaning up the house when needed, but last night we just kind of gave up. Zeke offered to clean, but I begged him to sit by me on the couch and watch another movie. This cold makes me feel like a big baby and my brain is so foggy... ugh.

Conference was great. I'm still trying to absorb it all and clarify my feelings and thoughts about some of the talks I would like to post about later. 

One scripture that really stood out to me (I noted 5 different speakers referencing it) was :

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I know I've mentioned on my blog a few times that this is my favorite scripture. 

It is THE scripture. The one that keeps me going. The one that got me going in the first place.

Long, long story, but when I was 18 and completely lost I had a miracle of a thought. To this day, I don't know what made me think it. I do know I'd hit rock bottom in my life and literally there was no way to go but up. I didn't realize this thought would change my life forever.

I thought maybe there was something to this Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I wanted to find out for sure. I opened a Bible -- you know how people say they just randomly flip to a page and start reading? Well, I did that and came to Matthew 11: 28-30. The words practically jumped off the page at me! Those verses seemed highlighted somehow, like there was a glow surrounding them. Those simple, yet powerful verses changed my life forever. This was my answer. THE answer. I have never looked back.

This scripture has sustained me and strengthened me through the last 20 years, but trials still come. Life is very hard sometimes, but life can also be joyful and rewarding. There is always hope through the Atonement of our Savior. 

Yesterday, Richard G. Scott said something like, "The Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion. There is justice for rebellion, but for our weaknesses He shows mercy." I needed those words yesterday. I struggle SO much. I get SO mad at myself. I feel SO weak and unworthy sometimes.

I think of 2 Nephi 4:17-21 when Nephi says, "... O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins;"

Then he says, 

"Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions... He hath filled me with His love, even unto the consuming of my flesh!"

We need our Savior to help us overcome our weaknesses. He is THE answer. I have prayed earnestly to overcome my weaknesses and turn them over to Him. I know it's a daily battle and a lifelong process. I know I can't do it alone. I know in whom I have trusted.

Another quote from Conference (I think it's from Timothy Dyches of the Quorum of the 70):

"All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Christ."

One of my favorite talks was by Richard J. Maynes of the Presidency of the 70. It really brought me hope and comfort and... wow, the word that came to mind was vindication (for me, at least).

He said something like, "We need to develop spiritual stamina in order to find inner peace and strength to endure whatever challenge we wake up to each morning."

I appreciate so much that he acknowledged that some trials don't end. Some trials are with us throughout our earthly life. Many people face horrible and unthinkable and unbearable trials they are able to overcome through the help of our Savior and because they eventually end. (Like being out of work or recovering from a serious accident or illness). They get through it. It's an event in their life, not a way of life.

What about people that just have to endure? Their trial is ALWAYS there and most likely always will be. For some, it is reality. We need to have compassion and understanding for those people. Those people need to have compassion and understanding for themselves. (I'm talking to myself right here.) It's so hard, because some trials people face are invisible to others. Trials you can't actually "see" on the outside or maybe not realize how hard it is for them or what they are truly going through.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "If the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and BE STRONG!"

I honestly loved that and "hated" it at the same time. It stung me (and it was supposed to). I faltered because of my weaknesses. It sounds too hard. I want a reprieve sometimes. It's hard to be strong! I truly appreciated his talk and related to much of it -- but it made me realize I need to accept my trials and not compare myself to others, to "come what may and LOVE it". (from Elder Wirthlin long ago)

I know the Lord knows exactly what we are going through. He understands fully and He can truly see everything. He loves us no matter what. I find great comfort in that eternal truth. I hope I can be strong enough to "drink the bitter cup" and keep going and even "LOVE it". 

One day at a time ... sometimes for me, it's one hour or even one moment at a time. I've come to realize that is what enduring is. We can't be perfect now and we certainly can't be perfect and happy every moment, but little by little we can keep going forward doing our best. That's all He asks. It is enough.

How was your conference weekend?

Monkeys climbing on the "tree" in between conference sessions

Zeke says, "Did you get a picture yet, or what?!"

Well, I survived the weekend. I wrote a silly post about some home repairs and updates we did on Saturday and I just wasn't that into it. My heart is so full and my mind is so stressed. I needed to write a different one.

I am so thankful my Mom is okay from her "heart problems" last week.

General Conference was AWESOME, but isn't it always? We still have a hard time truly focusing on all of it with 4 children who really aren't that into it? I have a question for all of you bloggers out there: do you have or know of any children that actually enjoy conference and like to sit still and just listen to the speakers and not talk and not fight and not throw ice cream on your cats?

just wondering...

or is it something you make them do and it's kind of like torture with bribes and you wonder if it's really a big contradiction because they are feeling anything but the Spirit?

just wondering...

And really don't make me depressed. I don't want to hear how perfect your family is. If I could type the sound of a "raspberry" I would. Thbtttt!? Just because I'm in Parenting 4210!! Enjoy your 101 class... HA!

We did make some seriously awesome ice cream sundaes during the Saturday afternoon session. I got 6 different flavors of ice cream and twice as many toppings and such. It was so much fun -- the rule was that you could eat as much ice cream as you wanted IF you sat at the table and listened to conference AND were quiet enough to let other people listen. Yeah, I got that idea from a cute book I read a couple weeks ago, "Bullies in the Headlights" by Matthew Buckley.

Our whole family listened to this book on tape and the prequel, "Chickens in the Headlights". If you want a good family read that will have you laughing so hard that you can hardly breathe, these are the books for you. But be warned!! Your children might learn AND use new terms to insult one another with: You TOILET SEAT!! You're just a big POT LICKER! Yeah, I love this book! Oh, and my dear sweet daughter belched at the dinner table the other night and instead of our required "Excuse me" she yelled, "TA-DAAAAAH!" Just another fabulous treasure acquired from the pages of these books. Seriously, if anything, you should read them so you can learn a whole new version of the Primary song, "Two Little Hands." ha ha ha ha ha... I won't tell you, you'll have to find out for yourself or my kids can sing it for you. They're just waiting for the opportunity.

Why is it so funny to read about OTHER people's naughty children?

Anyway, conference was a good mix. Some talks I felt great comfort and peace; like Elder Bednar's about Revelation. Wow! I never realized how much information I am receiving. Am I listening? Am I applying it? The Holy Ghost is speaking to me all the time. Little by little I am getting help every moment of every day. I just need to be humble and do what the Spirit tells me to: go play with my children, love others -- even those who are hard to love, study the scriptures, forsake worldly things, serve in our community AND not what I want to: sleep more than I should, eat more ice cream, hide in my room when my kids are bugging me, fall asleep in my bed before I say my prayers. I'm a bad girl and this is just the tip of the iceberg. What about not answering the phone sometimes because I just don't want to deal with the drama on the other end? Or thinking really mean thoughts about people who have offended me? I have been offended by? I need to do better and this is exactly why I need conference.

I love Elder Holland's term "Bedlam-ites". They definitely live at my house. I wonder if there are any at your house? Sometimes I feel like our house is so CRAZY, you know, full of BEDLAM. I looked up bedlam in the dictionary: a scene or state of wild uproar and confusion. Yep, that's us. And sometimes I think we have no idea what we are doing as parents. But we're really trying...

I really REALLY enjoyed the talk by Elder Lynn G. Robins of the Seventy about "To Be" lists and parenting. The Spirit pricked my heart more times than I am willing to admit that I really need to make some changes in my life.

Elder Ballard's talk about small and simple things, Elder Cook's talk about women (YEAH!) and another talk by ? about the characteristics of people who follow Christ are some of the talks that really stood out to me. I find it interesting how much President Monson has emphasized missionary work the last few conferences.

We have decided as a family to make a monthly contribution to the ward and general missionary funds. I want my children to know that I want to "Follow the Prophet" and I think this is something tangible for them to physically do and actually see with their eyes.

My kids are home from school this week for Spring Break.... again I am thankful for Conference; it helps me survive. I'll write another post about this week... "...by small and simple means are great things brought to pass." Yes, I'll keep chanting that and try my best to keep smiling.

I guess this conference was much better than the last one. Last time we got e-coli. Yeah.

Weekend Update... playdough and conference and parties

Well, it's Tuesday and I am so happy.... it's payday. Enough said.

Zeke has been working crazy hours still and I can't possibly imagine the day when this project is actually finished (for more reasons that one!) Yesterday, he worked from 6am to 7pm. He came home, ate dinner, and we had Family Home Evening which was very nice. Then at 10pm, he went back to work and came home at 6:30 this morning! Right now, he's sleeping. Poor guy, he is SO amazing. He is under a HUGE amount of pressure and added stress and I pray that he can get through this crazy time.

On Friday night, Gabe went to a birthday party and Zeke was at work. So the rest of us made play dough. By the way, my friend gave me THE best play dough recipe I've ever found. It's very easy to make and it doesn't stick to clothes and carpet. If you'd like the recipe, let me know.

Zeke had to work Saturday too. I was kinda bummed not to have him with us to watch Conference. But the kids and I made the best of it. We played with play dough and I embroidered a cute pillowcase for a birthday gift later that night.

Conference was amazing! I needed it so much. I took notes like crazy and I felt like several of the talks were just for me! But I always do. Some of my favorite talks were Pres. Uchtdorf's about simplifying things, Elder Holland's... I just love him!, and Elder Lawrence? about Courageous Parenting. I also loved Sister Wixom's... I could go on and on. We are so blessed.

Zeke came home around 3pm on Saturday. We all went to a birthday party for our neighbor's daughter at 4pm. Can I just tell you that I LOVE spending time with Latin-American people? They are so kind and generous. They throw THE best parties and cook THE best food. Although, I feel VERY white (in color and dancing abilities, hee hee.)

We are so blessed. Later, Zeke and Gabe went to the Priesthood Session and Zoe, Kaia, Beck and me had a dance party!! I don't know how to put videos up yet... but here's a picture of the girls after the birthday party. The lady that was doing the face painting was amazing as you can see!

Everyone went to bed and I stayed up and cleaned the house (a little) and read a book (a lot). Right now, I'm reading "The Red Pyramid" the first book in a new series by Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) It's a pretty good book, very interesting and fun so far.

Zeke has worked for ASI (his company) for over 8 years. During that time, he has NEVER had to work on a Sunday. What an incredible blessing for us. This project has been so crazy, I actually thought he might have to, but thankfully he didn't.

What a great day: big breakfast, awesome conference sessions, Twister, Settlers of Zarahemla, Monopoly, Peach Cobbler, and Bob Marley. And lots of nothing! Zeke hasn't been home this much since the end of August. I just realized I don't have any pictures of him, but he was there!:)

Oh, and of course the girls had to play dress up, they do that nearly everyday.

I think this picture looks like an album cover or something....

"Wha da hick?!"

This is Beck language for, "What the heck?" His new favorite thing to say. Imagine him rolling his eyes and sticking out his lips.... I wonder where he learned this from. It makes me laugh EVERY time. It's the little things... my life is so full of little blessings everyday... I'm so thankful that I'm able to see them.

So our neighbors are probably thinking, "Wha da hick?" Well, if you've been past our house... the FOR SALE sign is gone. We've changed our minds -- again. We're staying. It's not logical, but it feels right, we know it. We can only eat one elephant at a time... and right now, that elephant is Zeke's school (munch, munch, CRUNCH!).

My awesome visiting teacher, Irene, shared with me a talk from April conference, "Mother Told Me", by Elder Bradley D. Foster of the seventy. Elder Foster says, "A distraction doesn't have to be evil to be effective." WOW! Somewhere in the scriptures it talks about how Satan tries to keep us from arriving at truth. I feel like Satan is trying to distract us in every way possible to keep Zeke from graduating from college.

Mosiah 4:27 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."