BEAUTIFUL

Why are women so concerned about how they look? 

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not. In one way or another all women are. I think there's a balance though, between being obsessed and not caring at all. The older I get, I don't care as much how I look, but even still, I have days when I don't feel as "beautiful" as I would like to.

 I attended a New Beginnings meeting last night (for young women ages 12-18) and several of the girls talked about how much they struggle with the way they look. One didn't like her clothes, another was teased a lot when she was younger about the way she looks and still struggles to overcome it, another said she actually thinks she's UGLY. So many young girls feel like they aren't pretty or good enough simply BECAUSE they aren't pretty enough. 

What's up with that? I think a lot of it comes from TV and movies. Everyone is SO perfect and beautiful and appear to be successful and happy only because they ARE beautiful. Somehow, beauty is tied to success and accomplishment, even though they don't really DO anything to show what they've accomplished, they only LOOK perfect. Does that make any sense?

The media is constantly telling us:

Perfect Beauty (fake or surgically enhanced or whatever) = 

Successful, desirable, "worthy", lovable, wanted, preferred, acceptable, better than.

Not Beautiful = unsuccessful, undesirable, not acceptable or worthy of love, less than. As in, don't even bother trying, your effort will not be measured on the same scale simply because you're not beautiful to begin with.

It made me really sad. I had trouble sleeping last night. I was sad, because I've had those same feelings before, and it's hard to overcome. Then, I felt even more upset because I don't want my girls to go through that. My girls are so precious and beautiful to me. I wonder if I'm doing all I can to help balance and even overcome the negative influence they receive from the media and society?

The funny thing is, I was really shocked to hear these young women say they look in the mirror and think they're ugly. For a minute, I actually thought they were joking. Let me say they are SO wrong in that belief. Each and every one of those young women are SO beautiful. Truly.

 Is it there faces? Their hair or eyes? Their clothes or shoes? Their smiles?

For me, this song is the answer. It helps me on days when I'm feeling down. It helps me everyday to remember what is most important and what I should be doing with my time here on earth.

It's appropriately titled, 

"Beautiful" 

from Cherie Call 

(she is one of my absolute favorite singers ever -- I love her lyrics.)

Look at all the signs, Look at all the shows

All the glamorous people who claim to know

What perfection is and what makes beauty stay

But when all the styles go out and the labels fade away

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful

Nothing burns as bright, nothing shimmers so

As the smile of a friend when hope is running low

And how your hand feels warm when you dry a tear

Love is still in fashion at the end of every year

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful

Even roses fade away in the snow

But the beauty in your heart can always grow

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful.

I was so thankful that each of those young women went on to say that Heavenly Father has helped them overcome these feelings of inadequacy. The Personal Progress program has helped them to feel like they are "more than just a pretty face" and what they do has value and meaning.

Another one of my favorite scriptures:

1 Samuel 16:7

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

I heard this years ago (supposedly it's from Audrey Hepburn):

For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
Walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things,
Have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed,
And redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
You will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
One for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

P.S. I found THE best quote to go with this post! It's from Elaine Dalton, 

"We are royal daughters of God and our value is not based on sensual appeal."

Here's the hoop -- should I jump?

Look at this cute guy... he LOVES climbing in our tree.
Christmas isn't really Christmas without a kitten... life is good.

How's life? How's your Christmas preparations coming? You may think I am just one of those annoyingly perky people during Christmas... I love it! All of it. My friend, Stephanie, did a great blog post about that today and well, I'll just say DITTO to what she said. (and Steph, for the record, I might send out New Year's Cards again, the budget is *tight*)

Our family is also doing something really special this year... more on that later.

Okay, so in my last post, I told you that I sent my children's story to two publishers... (now three) well, I got a positive response from one of them just five days later.... WHAT?!?!?!?!

Yeah, I was pretty excited and I know they are a reputable company because a friend of mine has recently published with them; however, they require a $2,000 retainer FEE. :( Yes, I just heard screeching brakes, did you? Anyway, the retainer fee is fully refundable upon the sale of 1000 copies of my book. Blargh! I knew it wouldn't be that easy the first time out of the gates, but man, that email got me excited! From what I've heard, that is fairly common for unknown authors wanting to publish their first book.

I firmly believe that if I'm supposed to publish this book something better will come along. I wish I was Anne Shirley and there was a local "Rollings Reliable Baking Powder" Company that needed a boost. I bet I could win that!

Anyway, I love Christmas and for the moment, we are all basically healthy... which is kinda freaking me out.

I love my kids. We made some cardboard box cars this week just for fun.
And it was.
Beck slept in his last night.

Zoe and I went to a USU women's basketball game with her class. SO fun!

Here she is with "Big Blue", the USU mascot!
Zoe said he stunk like cologne... just keep thinking that way, sweetie.

Kaia's still awake (it's 10:15) and she's crying. Zeke is up there with her and I should go help. He is such a great guy... which kinda freaks me out too.

This should probably be another post, but I want to do a "Word of the Year" thing like my good friend, Tawnya. She is most groovy, by the way. I think it's a great idea and a way for me to really make some changes in my life all through the year. Not a big list of "resolutions", I've never been one for that really, but something simple. Something I can think about and implement everyday.

Once I decided to do this, the word I wanted came to mind almost instantly:

DISCIPLINE
dis.ci.pline (noun)

1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.

2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.

3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.

4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.

5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.

This is what I jotted down on my phone:
TIME
MONEY
STUDY
GIVE
PROGRESS
SELF

I'll expand more on that list as I figure out exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it.
For the most part, I want to focus on our money and get out of debt. This year is the year!
I feel like the planets are aligning...

It's happening...

My kids are growing up...

No more diapers in the house, no playpens, no strollers, no baby monitors...

Gabe is almost 14 and Zoe will be 11 in just 3 weeks...
WHERE has the time gone?

The little dimples on their knuckles are LONG gone...
only Beck's remain and only just.
As I'm hanging up laundry,
I suddenly realize their clothes need "big-people" hangers.

I noticed I don't trim their nails anymore... they've already trimmed them...
when did this happen?

When they feel sad and cry or get hurt, they don't come running into my arms anymore or sit on my lap... I can't just scoop them up in my arms like I used to.

They don't want to go trick or treating with us anymore...

I was feeling sorry for myself on Halloween when Gabe just couldn't eat dinner fast enough so he could go be with his friends and Zoe got all ready with us to go trick-or-treating, only to announce she was planning to go with a friend and her family. Aren't we cool enough anymore?
(Don't answer that! Just let Kaia and Beck keep thinking it for a little while longer, please!)

I feel like I just woke up out of a thick fog and suddenly realized I have four children and they are growing up right before my eyes whether I like it or not.

I have to let them go, let them be, let them choose what they want to do and find out who they are... it's really hard and it makes me sad, but in a way, I'm excited for them too. What a wonderful and fun time of their lives.

I'm scared for them, the world is a crazy place, but I just want them to hold my hand a little longer -- maybe more for me than for them. They are okay. I love them so much and I want so much for them. In this craziness called Motherhood, somewhere along the way in the last almost 14 years, I have given birth to four amazing, beautiful, and not-so-little people.

Suddenly, the diapers and sleepless nights are gone and I'm here with a 13, 10, 7, and 3 year old and they're all about to have a birthday here within 6 months. Wow. I've heard so many other mothers tell me to enjoy it when they're little because the time will go so fast. I always thought those mothers were wrong, I thought they were so nostalgic and sappy and pathetic and lonely even. I couldn't wait for my kids to sleep through the night and be potty-trained and dress themselves and be big enough to do all of these things... and now, it's already here and passing and I think I've missed something along the way. It's so hard when you're in the middle of it. I'm grateful to feel (good and bad) this wake-up call and realize MY time with them is slipping away.

I told my mother on the phone today that I'm just the "chef" or "taxi" or "housekeeper" or "backpack finder" or whatever and sometimes they don't even notice me or what I want or feel. Sometimes my kids unknowingly make me feel like chopped liver! My Mom listened quietly and sighed deeply before she replied, "Yes, sometimes your kids will make you feel like chopped liver and I hate to say it, but sometimes they still do." My sweet little mother who I completely adore... is she sad and lonely and feeling this yuckiest twinge of regret I'm feeling in the pit of my stomach and in the deepest part of my heart? Does she wish she could go back? Have I made her feel like chopped liver? I'm sure! Especially when I was between the ages of 12-18. Let's not go there...Oh man! I was awful. I'm only beginning to realize how truly hard it is to be a Mom.
I just need to enjoy every minute I have with them. I've been praying about it and I need to find something for each child at the specific age and phase they are in right now to enjoy them and make them feel special and let me feel close to them.

Gabe and I like to watch "Mythbusters", Zoe and I like to bake cookies and paint her nails, Kaia and I like to read books and draw pictures, Beck and I like to play with his Legos and Hot Wheels. I'm going to soak it all in and have fun!

I know it is SO hard when your kids are little and your days (and nights) are CRAZY and chaotic and even depressing sometimes. Guess what? I've become that weird old lady like your mother or some old woman in your church that tells you "They grow up so fast, don't waste it, enjoy it!" I'm going to enjoy every minute of it! Grumpy teenagers and preschool tantrums and my little brown-eyed drama queens and everything that goes with it. (famous last words...)

While writing this post, I was listening to "Give it Away" from the Red Hot Chili Peppers and it was quite fitting for how I was feeling:

My Mom I love her cuz she love me
Long gone are the times when she scrub me!

Yes, even Anthony Kiedis was a little boy once and THAT, my friends, is a scary thought!! HA!

The Real Deal

I woke up in a funk the other morning. Around 4am I had a nightmare about my Dad... I just couldn't seem to shake it all day long.

Things got to me all day, that feeling again like I don't fit in, I'm a terrible mother, a terrible person, a failure.
Life is too hard, things are too sad and scary and HARD.

Did I mention that life is hard?

Stressed, anxious, depressed, scared.

I just wanted to be home with my kids.

I came home and read some scriptures, helped fix some of the girl's Polly Pocket dresses (no small task), helped Beck make a track for his car, moved all the pictures around on my wall and added some more, made dinner, just going through the motions really. I just felt sad and lost today.

Zeke came home tired and stressed too. We couldn't wait to get the kids to bed. I came downstairs to find Zoe starting the movie, "The Other Side of Heaven". I love this movie. I love the Tongan people (and I love Anne Hathaway). Most of all, I love the message. I felt the Spirit so strongly.
My heart needed it.

I couldn't find the exact quote, but I love the part after the storm and they all make it to shore and one of them says sometimes the Lord calms the storm and sometimes He calms the sailor. I've heard that many times before, but then Elder Groberg says, "and sometimes He just lets us swim." Isn't it true? I know that God loves us and helps us, but sometimes I think we have to work things out ourselves so we can learn and grow and exercise our faith.

My favorite quote that brought me peace, "There is a connection between heaven and earth. Finding that connection gives meaning to everything, including death. Losing that connection makes everything lose meaning, including life."

I am convinced the only thing in this world that brings any peace to my troubled heart is The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I feel better because of the truths I was reminded of that give me hope for a better day and faith in an eternal family. It's the real deal!

I invite all of you, especially those members of my family who don't have this peace in their lives, to come unto Christ. ALL of you.
Pray to know if this Gospel is true.
I know that I haven't been the best example every moment of my life, but I know this church is true and I am forever grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ that makes it possible for me and for everyone to repent of their mistakes and try to become a better person each day. A change of heart. We have the opportunity to be Eternal Families and live again with our Father in Heaven in peace and love because of His Son.
"I tremble to know that for me He was crucified.
That for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled, and died..."
("I Stand All Amazed", Hymns #193)

Three is a Magic Number

Well, here's my week: Swim lessons everyday, Playdate/Park everyday, shopping, library, gymnastics, art class, oh, and laundry, dishes, dinner, and guilt from NOT working in my yard.

I realized this week I have reached a milestone in my life. This is the FIRST time EVER in 10 years that I have been able to sit and watch my kids during their entire swimming lesson. WOW. Really it is SO weird. Gabe started when he was three and I was busy with Zoe. Gabe and Zoe took lessons and I was busy chasing Kaia. For the last three years, I have been chasing Beck while Gabe, Zoe, and Kaia have been doing their lessons. Now, Beck is three and this is his first summer taking lessons.

I have 40 whole minutes just to sit there! *bliss* It took me until yesterday to realize I should bring a book! Every few minutes I would look up and smile and wave at the kids. Beck keeps giving me the "thumbs up" I like this new phase of being a Mommy. My brain feels so calm. It's time to re-fuel. Especially after chasing Beck through Wal-Mart yesterday morning!

Today is the first day this week I don't HAVE to go anywhere. I'm looking forward to working in the yard and reading "Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo". I'm on chapter four and it's really good so far. Really good, if you like juvenile science fiction/fantasy and I DO!

We're also going to a wedding reception tonight for one of Zeke's former young men/scouts. It's so cool/bizarre to see the youth grow up and get married. *sniff sniff* Where does the time go?
My girls just LOVE to go to weddings and see the bride's dress!
The girls have been playing dress up lately. Here they are as the Red Fairies complete with RED lipstick. I know I'm just a *little* biased, but I think they are absolutely adorable. I am so thankful they have each other. They are so close. Sometimes too close... there are some occasional arguments, usually over candy or jewelry or the cats. Oh, to be little again!

Last Friday, Zeke and Gabe went camping with the Scouts, so I took Zoe, Kaia, and Beck to the park. We also went Father's Day shopping for Zeke and got him some new shorts. This guy doesn't really ever buy clothes for himself other than shoes and T-shirts with funny sayings on them. I've mended and re-mended most of his shorts. He calls one pair his "Frankenstein Shorts" because of all the stitches on them. It was time to get new shorts!

I love this picture of Beck.
He was jumping up the slide and I caught him with his feet in the air:

Unfortunately, he jumped so hard, he hit his head on the slide:

"Whoa, Mom, did you see dat?!"

The girls call this the "little red spinny chair". It's tilted a bit, so when you sit in it and lean just a little, you start spinning so fast you wish you never sat there. I've only sat there twice. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! What was I thinking? I used to love stuff like that. Not so much anymore, actually not at all. It's really hard to get out, especially with one hand over your mouth! Needless to say, Kaia and Zoe LOVE it!
Beck isn't too fond of the "little red spinny chair",
but this motorcycle is one of his favorites.

This park is one of my FAVORITE places to be.
It's only three minutes from our house.

I hope you're all having a FABULOUS summer and please don't feel bad if I haven't commented on your blog... I haven't forgotten any of you wonderful friends. I LOVE your comments and I look forward to catching up on your blogs in the next few days.

The Good with the Bad... I'll take what I can get!

Okay, so Wednesday was Book Club. It was so AWESOME. It was nearly impossible to get there, but I was going no matter what! Kaia had a last minute birthday party. Zeke and Gabe went hiking with the scouts. At least my friend Nancy agreed to watch my kids, but right before I left, the Young Women came by doing a service scavenger hunt (how could I say no?) I had to take my Dad's old Chevy, very groovy in my opinion, although a tad hard to reach the gas pedal. I was an hour late, but it was worth every crazy minute spent trying to get there!

Sushi at the Black Pearl and Cannoli's at Sweetly Divine?
Oh yeah, but that's just the beginning!
Without incriminating anyone I will just say we hand a grand old time shopping for lingerie at Dillard's. What?!? Don't you go shopping for lingerie with your Book Club? Well, you should.

Oh and of course we talked about the book, a bit. Actually most of us hadn't finished it yet. It's over 500 pages and well... life happens. But I did finish it Friday night. If you didn't read my last post, it's called "The Forgotten Garden" by Kate Morton. I really liked it. I would probably give it 3 out of 5 stars, maybe 4. It's hard to follow sometimes, jumping between the early 1900's, 1975, and 2005 all through the book with each chapter labeled with a different year. It's a great mystery with interesting characters. However, I was a bit frustrated by this woman's apparent allergy to conjunctions. I don't think I've read a book with longer, more confusing sentences. (other than my blog!) I'd have to go back and reread a few sentences here and there trying to figure out what she was saying. I'm very impatient and it just didn't flow at times. But the overall story was great.

Seriously, this whole paragraph is TMI I know, but I don't care. Friday was one of those days.... my dumb bladder. Does anyone wanna trade me? Deb? Amanda? You've offered to trade other things with me, I just thought I would ask. :) Anyway, having IC does have it's benefits, I guess. When I'm having a "flare-up", I can't hold still for anything, for fear of, well, you know. So I spent most of Friday running around the house getting stuff done. A week's worth of chores done in one day: Litter boxes, weeding, laundry, more weeding, dishes, etc. I guess I just need the proper motivation. Hmm? The kids and I had fun in spite of my inability to sit still. My medicine just wasn't cutting it so I had to keep VERY busy in order to keep my mind off of it.

Random: Kaia and Beck watching Scooby Doo

For the record, we're just a week into summer and my kids are so good at helping me around the house. During the school year, they have a few chores each day, but with so much homework and scouts and activity days and all that, I don't really focus on heavy duty chores until summer. I have a very simple chore chart and I rotate it everyday. Did you know that Kaia seriously LOVES to dust? I don't know where she came from, but I am definitely keeping her! Gabe mows the lawn for me and takes out the trash. Zoe is my best sweeper and clothes folder and Beck will do anything if he thinks he's "helping". Yeah, I'm pretty dang blessed!

Here's Gabe and Beck chillin' on the back deck after Gabe mowed the lawn.
Beck LOVES his big brother!

Friday night, we built a camp fire in the backyard and made smores.
It was a bit chilly, but fun.

Saturday was a Mother-Daugher Picnic for the Activity Day girls (kinda like girl scouts, sorta). Zoe and I went together and well, she is my buddy. We had a picnic on the lawn and painted flower pots.
Afterwards, we went to the store to grab a few things and Zoe saw a display of Justin Bieber dolls and was NOT happy about it. I'm glad she's not into all that yet. Honestly, why is he so popular? He sounds like a girl, well, at least the doll version of him does. We had to test all of the dolls just to see if they worked -- at the same time. You know the guy that spins dinner plates on top of sticks or whatever? We're WAAAY better than him!
Saturday night, we invited our wonderful neighbors, Lora and David, over to help us eat some some dutch oven potatoes and ribs. They obliged and brought some dutch oven cherry-chocolate dump cake. It was a feast! I can't believe it's only been a year since I met Lora. We are so blessed! I was so sad last year when I got released from Young Women's and then, Lora moved in across the street and life just keeps getting better. We have a lot in common so we can relate to each other, but we are very different too and it's keeps things interesting. :) I didn't take any pictures :(

Okay, today, Sunday, has been quite a day for me. I've been praying earnestly for answers to some things that have been troubling me lately. I'm always amazed at how those answers come. Testimony meeting was inspiring and I really appreciated my friend, Michelle's testimony of prayer and how she's gotten answers to the "small" things and that's given her Faith to keep praying for the "big" things and now the big things have been answered. I need to have more Faith! I hope I can endure the trials I have been given. Sometimes I'm not so sure. They're nothing too major, but for me they seem unbearable.

I was thinking about how wonderful my life really is aside from one or two things and if I didn't have these trials to deal with, how would I learn anything? There must be opposition in all things, right? Sometimes I just wish I could pick the what and the when... yeah, it just doesn't work that way.

Also, while preparing my Primary lesson this week, I've had this cute little Primary song going through my head (and it's no coincidence):

Help me, Dear Father, to freely forgive
All who may seem unkind to me.
Help me each day, Father, I pray;
Help me live nearer, nearer to Thee.

Why is it so hard to forgive people? Maybe it's just hard for me. I look at other families and wonder what it would be like to have a different family. But you know, I was given my family for a reason. ALL of them. I'm really trying to figure out what I'm supposed to learn from all of it and REALLY trying to feel charity in my heart. I think it's interesting the lyrics say "all who may seem unkind". It's how we perceive things... and I could go on forever about that one. But regardless of perception and true intent, I am still REQUIRED to forgive. My trial isn't "finished", but I got a lot of answers today and I am very grateful for the peace I felt. I think I've made some progress. There's NO way I could handle what I'm going through without the help of my Father in Heaven.

Here's to a new week! :)

School's out for Summah!!!!

Our favorite song this morning:

It's the last day of school and my kids are more than REALLY excited!!! We made it through another year! We're going to visit my parents this weekend and I can't wait to see them, other than I think I have an ear infection. :( It's been a rough week, but I'm going to the doctor this morning. I think I get an ear infection every May. I'm not going to let that stop us from having fun!

Hope you have a fun weekend! :)

Blah-ging: it's not you, it's me

I've been so busy and I'm just not in the mood to blog... I'll try to catch up on my blog reading tonight. I promise: it's not you, it's ME! Blah.

We had a wonderful weekend:

• We took Friday off and just played. All six of us. It was more than splendid. I'll write more about that later too. We kind of planned it last minute. It was SO fun. We are so blessed. By the way, I love sushi.
  
• On Saturday we cleaned out our garage and car, just to mention a few things. And those are MAJOR things.
  
• I went to a Stake RS meeting and heard a great talk by Emily Watts. She was AWESOME! I'll write more about that later too.
• We rented Harry Potter 7 from the Redbox and I loved it. (Kaia and Beck didn't watch it -- I'll save you the trouble of cussing me out. You're welcome.) *SPOILER ALERT* Tell me I'm not the only person that cried when Dobby got killed? I knew it was going to happen; I've read the book, but it still made me really sad.
  
• We ate dinner outside -- to me, this is THE welcoming ritual of summer. Any suggestions on yummy things to grill?
  
• The girls and I got new swimsuit cover ups and flip flops -- another sign that summer is really coming!

Are they cute or what?
My cover up is the same color as Zoe's. The sash can be worn many different ways and well, that fact made us want them regardless of the color. They can be dresses, skirts, sleeveless cover-ups over your bathing suit, yeah, it's just too groovy. We can't wait to walk around Bear Lake all dressed the same. I am so blessed to have these precious girls.
They are definitely my shopping buddies.

I hope you all have a FABULOUS week.
My kids get out of school on Friday and for the moment,
I'm really happy about it.
No more homework, no more books, no more children's dirty looks! :)
I just want to play...

Surreal... but Nice

Valentine's Day was great. Beck and I went to the Elementary School and helped with the Valentine's Tea. It was really fun! The kids get all dressed up in their "Sunday Best" and they learn table manners and etiquette and such and then, they get to sit down to a little "tea party" with cake and punch.

"Peace, Mom"

Zoe was really excited for Valentine's Day:
I painted their nails that morning:
Then I told them to be silly:
It comes quite naturally to them:

Zoe at the tea party with her class:

Kaia with her class:

When Zeke got home from work, he brought flowers for ALL the girls. (And I didn't get a picture of him walking in the door! Dang!! He looked so cute.) Sorry for the lovely backdrop... our kids don't hold still very long. Our photography "rule" is very similar to golf: "Play the ball where it lies." Um, we need to change that. That's Beck's "potty chart" in the background and our trim still isn't finished along that wall. Well, it's us.Beck wanted a picture with the flowers too:

For dinner that night, we made heart-shaped pizzas and had ice cream sundaes with all sorts of fun toppings. We put the kids to bed early and curled up together and watched a movie. We also had Spumoni ice cream of course!

My husband is my very best friend. I just realized I didn't get a picture of us together... I need to do better. Well, here's an oldie, but a goodie. This is from Girls's Choice 1990 or 91? Yes, that really is me behind all that hair and make-up! Good times :)
Just FYI, I also have a very cool 12 year old son... he does NOT want to be on my blog... unless it's something cool. Well, Gabe, our definitions of cool might be different, but I love you anyway :)

Video Premiere!

So, here's my first video posted!
The girls and their friend, Collette, had a dance party Friday night.

Yes, those are underwear on their heads!
(That *crack!* sound you hear at the beginning right before
I say "ooh, be careful" is the Wii remotes smacking together! ouch!)

2 Nephi 2: 25 "...and men are, that they might have joy."

This is what I did while I was waiting for the video to upload:

• cleaned the kitchen
• played Just Dance with Beck
• swept the floor
• played Just Dance with Beck
  
• showered
• played Just Dance with Beck
• cleaned the litter box (eww!)
• played Just Dance with Beck
• loaded the dishwasher
  

Maybe I should upload videos more often!
(Do your videos take this long to upload? What am I doing wrong?)

16 girls, 1700 square feet, and Sardines!

Zoe, age 10: decorator of cakes and instigator of chaos

Well, I survived Zoe's birthday party Tuesday night. Why oh why did I let her invite so many girls? Because I'm her Mom and I just can't resist that face. It was really fun, just crazy. I think Zoe was the loudest one of all. I didn't get too many "action" shots either... I was right in the middle of it all!

Poor Beck, he was SO tired, but he REFUSED to nap. He was very grumpy and crazy. Thank goodness Zeke was there to help me. He's so wonderful. He even cleaned up after the party while I was taking girls home. Yep, he's a keeper. :)

Opening presents:
Kaia made Zoe a really cool 3-D paper flower garden

Zoe wanted to decorate her own cake this year.
I think she did a really good job.

The girls wanted to play Hide and Seek and I talked them into playing Sardines instead. Our house isn't very big and I wasn't sure there would be enough hiding places for 15 girls. Especially since Gabe threatened us not to let any of the girls in his room NO MATTER WHAT! He was lucky enough to go to a friend's house during the party! (Thanks, Nicole)

Sardines is WAY more fun than Hide and Seek anyway. Please tell me you've played Sardines before. You haven't? It is SO much fun. Back at Snow College, my roommates and I and whoever was at our house at the moment wasted several hours playing Sardines. And we were so good at it too! The trick is to be very quiet. I never thought our little laundry room could hold so many people. Good times.

Okay, so it's kind of like the opposite of Hide and Seek. You have ONE person hide and then everyone else splits up and looks for the one person. If you find them, you don't say anything and the game isn't over yet. Instead, you quietly hide with them. So one by one, each person finds the little group of hiding people and joins them. Depending on where you hide, it can get pretty squishy, hence the name "Sardines". Oh, I wish I had a picture of everyone hiding behind the shower curtain in the bathtub... it was awesome. Thanks girls, I hope you had as much fun as I did!

I knew I loved you before I met you...

When Zeke and I we were dating in high school, we decided that if we ever got married and had a daughter, we would name her Zoe Lace. Zoe, from some vampire book Zeke was reading, and Lace, after me. Zoe is a Greek name that means "life." Her name definitely fits her; she is always full of energy and life. I always dreamed about having a little girl with dark brown eyes and brown hair... and now I have two!

Well, on November 30, 2000 at 9:39pm after 12 hours of labor and
then an emergency C-section here she was:

8lbs 15.7oz! She was a sweet chubby baby with tons of BLACK hair.
The nurses would look at her and then at me and say,
"Did we bring you the right baby?"
Her little face was so round and pink and her hair was so dark,
we thought she looked like an Eskimo baby.

Six Months

18 Months

Gabe dressing Zoe in his clothes, 2003

Sisters: Zoe meets Kaia for the first time, April 12, 2004

Zoe being Zoe, 2006

Zoe with Beck, Summer 2008

Zoe with Pippin, Christmas 2008

Zoe being Zoe, Spring 2009

Zoe and her new glasses, November 2009

Zoe has always been the peacemaker of our home. That being said, if you push her too far or if she has been wrongly accused... WATCH OUT! She is so patient, too patient, but sometimes she gets to the point where she just can't handle Gabe, Kaia, and Beck anymore and she let's them know!

I'm proud of her for standing up for what is right and trying to be friends and include everyone, regardless of what other children at school want her to do. This has been a big trial for Zoe and she has stayed strong, even when some of her "friends" have turned away from her and ridiculed her for choosing to play with everyone. Girls can be so mean sometimes. I hope Zoe can continue to be a good example.

She is very creative and talented. She loves to design and make dresses for her dolls and even herself. She has become a very good seamstress in her short ten years. She has an eye for color and design and loves to coordinate her clothes. She also loves to cook and has learned to make many things in the last few years. She has been singing and dancing with TaVaci for about a year. She is the one who keeps us in tune when we sing songs for family home evening and scripture study.

Zoe's the one who always tells me "Thank you for this yummy dinner, Mommy", even when it's not. Zoe's the first one to stop complaining and arguing and say "Okay, Mom, and then do what I've asked her." Zoe is SO silly! She loves to tell jokes and imitate characters from movies... she really has a talent for performing and making people laugh. "You're a good person!" (that's an inside joke from Zoe... from Shark Tale :) She is amazing in her ability to remember not just movie quotes, but entire scenes from movies, word for word. This is a highly coveted ability in our home!

She has a true admiration and unconditional love as a little sister to Gabe and is an amazingly patient and generous big sister to Kaia. I know Beck has been hard for both Zoe and I to handle. We like things quiet and peaceful (he is neither of those 100% of the time). I love her for hanging in there with me. I don't know why, maybe because she is so good, which doesn't really make sense, but I feel like I am the hardest on Zoe. I push her too much. I get after her for too many little things... I want so much for her.

My promise, Miss Zoe, now that you're 10 years old: I am going to do my very best to be positive and encouraging in all that you do. You are an influence for good in our family. I promise I will let you know that more often. And when you're feeling a bit grumpy or if you forget to put something away, I will try to be more patient and forgiving like you are with me. You are wonderful in so many ways!

Happy 10th Birthday, Zoe Lace, you are my special sweet girl.
I love you so much!
Eleven pictures, one for each year we've been blessed to have you in our family and one to grow on! :)