BEAUTIFUL

Why are women so concerned about how they look? 

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not. In one way or another all women are. I think there's a balance though, between being obsessed and not caring at all. The older I get, I don't care as much how I look, but even still, I have days when I don't feel as "beautiful" as I would like to.

 I attended a New Beginnings meeting last night (for young women ages 12-18) and several of the girls talked about how much they struggle with the way they look. One didn't like her clothes, another was teased a lot when she was younger about the way she looks and still struggles to overcome it, another said she actually thinks she's UGLY. So many young girls feel like they aren't pretty or good enough simply BECAUSE they aren't pretty enough. 

What's up with that? I think a lot of it comes from TV and movies. Everyone is SO perfect and beautiful and appear to be successful and happy only because they ARE beautiful. Somehow, beauty is tied to success and accomplishment, even though they don't really DO anything to show what they've accomplished, they only LOOK perfect. Does that make any sense?

The media is constantly telling us:

Perfect Beauty (fake or surgically enhanced or whatever) = 

Successful, desirable, "worthy", lovable, wanted, preferred, acceptable, better than.

Not Beautiful = unsuccessful, undesirable, not acceptable or worthy of love, less than. As in, don't even bother trying, your effort will not be measured on the same scale simply because you're not beautiful to begin with.

It made me really sad. I had trouble sleeping last night. I was sad, because I've had those same feelings before, and it's hard to overcome. Then, I felt even more upset because I don't want my girls to go through that. My girls are so precious and beautiful to me. I wonder if I'm doing all I can to help balance and even overcome the negative influence they receive from the media and society?

The funny thing is, I was really shocked to hear these young women say they look in the mirror and think they're ugly. For a minute, I actually thought they were joking. Let me say they are SO wrong in that belief. Each and every one of those young women are SO beautiful. Truly.

 Is it there faces? Their hair or eyes? Their clothes or shoes? Their smiles?

For me, this song is the answer. It helps me on days when I'm feeling down. It helps me everyday to remember what is most important and what I should be doing with my time here on earth.

It's appropriately titled, 

"Beautiful" 

from Cherie Call 

(she is one of my absolute favorite singers ever -- I love her lyrics.)

Look at all the signs, Look at all the shows

All the glamorous people who claim to know

What perfection is and what makes beauty stay

But when all the styles go out and the labels fade away

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful

Nothing burns as bright, nothing shimmers so

As the smile of a friend when hope is running low

And how your hand feels warm when you dry a tear

Love is still in fashion at the end of every year

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful

Even roses fade away in the snow

But the beauty in your heart can always grow

It's what you give that makes you beautiful

It's how you live that makes your dreams come true

Keep your faith in this world,

And let the light of the Lord shine through

That's what makes you beautiful.

I was so thankful that each of those young women went on to say that Heavenly Father has helped them overcome these feelings of inadequacy. The Personal Progress program has helped them to feel like they are "more than just a pretty face" and what they do has value and meaning.

Another one of my favorite scriptures:

1 Samuel 16:7

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

I heard this years ago (supposedly it's from Audrey Hepburn):

For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
Walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things,
Have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed,
And redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
You will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
One for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

P.S. I found THE best quote to go with this post! It's from Elaine Dalton, 

"We are royal daughters of God and our value is not based on sensual appeal."

Beauty Tips

I wanted to share this with my niece, Angee, and when I read it again, I still love it so much I wanted to share it will all of you:

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Sam Levenson

Posted October 1999

Contrary to what some may think, Audrey Hepburn did not write this beautiful poem, Sam Levenson did. Levenson wrote "Time Tested Beauty Tips" for his grandchild, and it just so happened to be one of Audrey's favorite poems. She read it to her children on the very last Christmas Eve she spent with us here on Earth.

Here's the skinny...

NO, this isn't Cindy Brady. This is me when I was about 5 years old.
Kinda cute, huh?

I've been wondering at what age do we stop thinking we are cute?
I was eleven years old. Middle school and puberty can be brutal.
What happens to our self-image? Why are we so hard on ourselves?

This post is probably going to be "blog suicide", but John Mayer sings, "Say what you need to say" right? Okay people, I have some things on my mind that need to be said. And if I offend you, that's not my intent. Please, don't let yourself be offended.

I really appreciated my friend, Stephanie's, post yesterday. I'm relieved to know other people feel the same way I do. When I'm driving on I-15 through Salt Lake and Provo, I feel completely bombarded with offensive and crude billboards advertising plastic surgery and liposuction and such. I don't want to see it and I don't want my children to see it. The media makes me feel like I'm not good enough in any way, shape, or form. Literally.

Why do women feel so pressured to look perfect? Why do so many women in Utah feel that way? Honestly, I feel that way sometimes too. I hate feeling that way; I know it is Satan working on me, trying to bring me down and keep me from focusing on what is really important.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are."

There's a really cute story in the February 2011 Friend called "Beautiful" (page 44). I don't think it's online yet. We read it during FHE last night and I hope my girls got something out of it. I did. I'm almost 36 years old and I still struggle with feelings of low self-esteem. But I've noticed that when I'm consistently reading my scriptures each day, serving others, saying my prayers, and all the little things we're supposed to be doing, I don't feel so bad about myself. For me personally, I also find if VERY important to stay away from media that sends me the message that "I'm ugly" (This can be very hard to find in today's world.)

Speaking of the word "ugly", isn't that an awful word? I don't know about you, but I do NOT allow that word to be said in my house about anything. I think it is very derogatory and harmful. On Sunday during sharing time, a little girl said loud enough for all to hear, "Ooh, look at the girl, her face is SO ugly!" I was horrified to say the least. I don't know who she was talking about nor did I turn around to see. I told her that isn't nice to say and she responded, "Well, it's true." What are we teaching our children?

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says in this amazing talk, "I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style... In the kingdom of God, the real you is 'more precious than rubies' (Proverbs 3:15)." I know this includes all women, regardless of our ages. I also know we must be more accepting of others.

Are we judging others simply based on their appearance? I had a very interesting experience last week. I have a very good friend who has been my friend since the moment I met her over 7 years ago. I don't know if she reads my blog, but if you do I LOVE YOU! And I hope you don't mind me sharing this story. We went out for ice cream the other night and I noticed several people staring at us (not in a nice way). I don't know how to say this without offending anyone, but my friend really struggles with her weight, mainly from health problems. I don't know if they were staring at me or her, but I could feel my face get hot and my heart start to pound. How dare they judge?! They don't even know us! It was very awkward and I never realized how rude people can be. I felt sorry for my dear friend and I wish other people knew how funny, smart, and beautiful she is! People are so quick to stereotype and ostracize others who look different.

Please, dear blog friends, as small as it may be, I have something I want to get off my chest! Now I know exactly what you're going to say, because I've heard it all before, but I have felt severely ostracized and even ridiculed just like my friend. You see, I have been "blessed" some people might think ... and again how do I say this without offending? Well, I don't really struggle with my weight. And there's nothing special about me other than I have a lot of health problems that prevent me from gaining weight. I know some of you may be thinking "Oh, poor baby, I wish I had your problems!" Well, I'll trade you and see what you think! I don't feel very good most days and it's a real slap in the face when someone "wishes they were like me".

You never know why someone looks the way they do; big or small or somewhere in-between. Don't assume anything. Think before you speak. Do people have to be the same size in order to be friends? No way!

I cannot tell you how many people; so-called "friends" and even complete strangers, have walked up to me and said this, "You are so skinny, I hate you!" I know that sounds silly, but it's cruel. Would you ever walk up to someone and say, "You are so FAT, I hate you!"? No one would EVER say that. Think about it.

This is one of the best talks ever. I know that President Monson is inspired. I really like this quote: "Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."

I love this quote from Sheri L. Dew: "Why can't we resist the urge to second-guess and evaluate each other?...Sometimes I wonder if the final judgment will be a breeze compared with what we've put each other through here on earth." (No Doubt About It)