Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Real Deal

I woke up in a funk the other morning. Around 4am I had a nightmare about my Dad... I just couldn't seem to shake it all day long.

Things got to me all day, that feeling again like I don't fit in, I'm a terrible mother, a terrible person, a failure.
Life is too hard, things are too sad and scary and HARD.

Did I mention that life is hard?

Stressed, anxious, depressed, scared.

I just wanted to be home with my kids.

I came home and read some scriptures, helped fix some of the girl's Polly Pocket dresses (no small task), helped Beck make a track for his car, moved all the pictures around on my wall and added some more, made dinner, just going through the motions really. I just felt sad and lost today.

Zeke came home tired and stressed too. We couldn't wait to get the kids to bed. I came downstairs to find Zoe starting the movie, "The Other Side of Heaven". I love this movie. I love the Tongan people (and I love Anne Hathaway). Most of all, I love the message. I felt the Spirit so strongly.
My heart needed it.

I couldn't find the exact quote, but I love the part after the storm and they all make it to shore and one of them says sometimes the Lord calms the storm and sometimes He calms the sailor. I've heard that many times before, but then Elder Groberg says, "and sometimes He just lets us swim." Isn't it true? I know that God loves us and helps us, but sometimes I think we have to work things out ourselves so we can learn and grow and exercise our faith.

My favorite quote that brought me peace, "There is a connection between heaven and earth. Finding that connection gives meaning to everything, including death. Losing that connection makes everything lose meaning, including life."

I am convinced the only thing in this world that brings any peace to my troubled heart is The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I feel better because of the truths I was reminded of that give me hope for a better day and faith in an eternal family. It's the real deal!

I invite all of you, especially those members of my family who don't have this peace in their lives, to come unto Christ. ALL of you.
Pray to know if this Gospel is true.
I know that I haven't been the best example every moment of my life, but I know this church is true and I am forever grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ that makes it possible for me and for everyone to repent of their mistakes and try to become a better person each day. A change of heart. We have the opportunity to be Eternal Families and live again with our Father in Heaven in peace and love because of His Son.
"I tremble to know that for me He was crucified.
That for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled, and died..."
("I Stand All Amazed", Hymns #193)


  1. Thanks for your insight, Lacy. I just watched this movie the other day but I missed the part about "sometimes He just lets us swim".

    I needed that 'cause I'm swimming right now.

    Oh, and I LOVE what you posted on FB about "Let there be public school..." I couldn't agree more. I may have to use that on my blog.

  2. Lace,
    What a beautiful post! I love you so much!!!

  3. Thank you for this beautiful post! I too know that it is true!!
    I needed some of those quotes today. It's amazing what true words will do for the soul. :)
    You are awesome!
    Hope you can stop swimming and take a boat soon!

  4. Wow- I hear ya. Amen. I've been thinking a lot lately about my grandpa and that quote: "There is a connection between heaven and earth. Finding that connection gives meaning to everything, including death. Losing that connection makes everything lose meaning, including life," is so applicable to how I feel right now. Thanks for the reminder. I just watched that movie again recently but it was before my grandpa passed and I'm glad you reminded me of that quote. I love it too.

    Thanks for blogging even on the down days. I have a hard time doing that yet I am so grateful when others do- to know I'm not alone in having rough spells.

    Hope you find some peace and reprieve soon. You are loved. By us and God. :)

  5. This was amazing. You are amazing.

    I have days like that, too. And you're right, the only thing that ever brings me out of that funk is the Gospel and the things that matter.

  6. I'm so glad you are feeling better. The gospel is true!

  7. I needed this today. I dont know if I'm swimming so much as struggling to tread water some days. Thanks for your words and insight. You are amazing!


  8. Inspiring post Lacy. You continue to teach me about having faith through trials. Thank you.

  9. Does he say anything about drowning while swimming? ha ha just kidding. It's amazing how hard ol' whats his face (satan) works on Moms. you are wonderful Lacy! Thanks for sharing your testimony!

  10. I know the same feeling. I woke up the other day just feeling like something wasn't right. I have been paranoid that people don't like me or that I have done/said something wrong. I normally don't worry about that kind of thing, but lately it has happened more and more. Enough that I find myself trying to avoid going to things because I feel unwanted. Its hard and I have no solution obviously, but I wanted you to know you aren't alone. Sunny

  11. We were in Logan today and I checked out the face of every blond woman I saw, just looking for you. Willow Park was so busy, but you weren't there. Maybe next time.

  12. Did that sound stalkerish? I didn't mean to sound stalkerish...yeesh, sometimes blogging is so hard! I've yet to meet any of my bloggy friends in real life. It certainly adds an extra level to the word vacation. Last month when we were in Idaho Falls, I found myself looking for another friend I knew lived there. Wouldn't it be weird to actually see someone you only knew from a blog in the grocery store? Like when we were driving on the freeway today and suddenly I looked out the window and there in the next lane over was my son waving at me! Hope I didn't offend.

  13. Sandy, I think it's great! I would love to run into you. I've met two blog friends in person now and it's been so fun.

    We were feeling kind of worn out yesterday and opted to go to the library where it's nice and cool, but Willow Park is my FAVORITE park in Logan. I hope you had fun!

    I actually did meet a sister of one of my blog friends in the grocery store for thefirst time... We had been looking at each other's blogs for awhile and she recognized me! FUN! ;)

  14. Sorry we missed you at the park. I'll let you know when we get back up there, but it probably won't be until next summer. (I can't afford Aggie ice cream more often than that for my crew...$26.00!)


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