Anonymous with a side a STINK!

I don't even know what that title means, but it felt good to type it, so I'm leaving it there. This is not a happy post, friends. You have been warned.

Seriously. I had it all worked out this morning, well, in my head at least.  I was going to start a new blog, an anonymous blog. A blog where I could TRULY vent and tell it like it is. I had a really pitiful name for it and dozens of things I couldn't wait to post about. The thought is still swirling, but the fear of someone finding out who's writing all of these horrible "woe is me" and "this just chaps my hide" kind of posts keeps me from doing it. Yep, you can say it, I'm a chicken.

Can you even create an anonymous blog? I'm sure you can... but I'm sure there's a way you can track down the person who wrote it. I don't trust the cyber world.

I didn't know if "wo", was spelled "wo" or "woe", so I googled it. Did you know that "Woe is me" is a is an American Electro Post-Hardcore band from Atlanta, Georgia.??? Wow, I'd better check them out... ha.

Anyway, today is the day I've been waiting for sort of. The day I knew was coming, but I just didn't know exactly when. The last few weeks things have been going so good. All the kids are healthy, we're building a beautiful new home, Zeke has a great job, I have awesome friends and family, life is just so good, right? I kept thinking something bad was going to happen. I'm not trying to be negative or pessimistic (maybe I am and I just don't realize it), but when things are "up" for so long... there has to be a "down", you know, "opposition in all things" and stuff like that. I just felt like I needed to be prepared.

The really terrible thing is nothing earth-shattering or truly terrible has HAPPENED, I'm just having a really bad day. There I said it. You know when you cry a little and you tell yourself, "Okay, chill, the kids are going to worry and your mascara will be ruined." (I tell myself that a lot) Well, today isn't one of those days. Today I cried so much I had snot dripping down my face and there's no trace whatsoever of the mascara that was there at 8am. Yeah. Woe is me.

You know, the thing that really bugs me is someone once said I'm a "woe is me" kind of person. That  has been a very hard pill to swallow. I don't think they really know me.... most days I'm really upbeat and fine... and yet, it seems like just under the surface is ME. There's probably some truth to that and that's what makes it so hard. The me that freaks out over "nothing", the me that sometimes I just bite my tongue and put up with stuff so long when I finally can't take it anymore I completely lose it and crumple for awhile. The sad thing is, the "crumple for awhile" seems to last longer than it used to.

Okay, so here's the deal. I had my DUMB yearly visit to the OB-GYN this morning. I won't bother taking the time to link to all of my other posts about that, but I think it's fair to say I hate going to the OB-GYN a bit more than your average woman.

Don't worry, everything "looks" fine. Seriously though, what does that mean? How can your cervix LOOK fine. You know, it bugs me so much, because well, for one thing, I can't see for myself. And if I did, I wouldn't know what to look for. I get SO COMPLETELY freaked out on the days leading up to my check-up and clear until I hear the results back on the pap smear.... and even then I worry if they did it right.

Then, add to that the EMBARRASSMENT. I might be neurotic in this sense, but I HATE that check up! Oh man, I hate it SO bad! I feel so violated. I feel so awful. I hate the random chit-chat the Dr. tries to engage you in while they're basically groping and grabbing and poking and prodding and EW! I can't imagine why I even go... but I know it's important. Blah. It's done. Hopefully for another year.

I thought going to a female OB-GYN would help a little. I don't remember last year being quite so bad, but today was AWFUL. Commence the crying. At least I waited until I got in the car...

And then. THEN! This "building a house" thing. Yes, it's exciting and fun and cool and such a blessing, but it can be SO stressful. So incredibly stressful. It has been part of my every day life for over 7 months now. The builder and realtor and owner of the subdivision DO NOT communicate with each other very well. Sometimes I wonder if they communicate at all.  So we end up hearing two or three different versions of everything and we're supposed to magically "know" which is the right one, because: 1) We can read their minds. 2) We've built a house before so we know things.

Well, since NEITHER of those things are true, I almost always feel "in the dark" about stuff. I thought we'd come to an agreement or arrangement of things from here on out. I won't bore you with all of the details before, but basically, I've just wasted about 6 hours of my personal time (which is such a precious thing to begin with). I have got to chill and just let go and chalk it up to experience and just count it towards the whole process.

One person told me to go pick out our flooring wherever, so I did. I thought the other two people knew of this and were in agreement. I mean, as in, I told one of them on the phone this is what I'm doing... Oh my. There are some people that I struggle with. Whoa. I've researched and called and visited several different flooring stores looking for the best quality I can get for the flooring budget we were given. (Which isn't much!) You know, I just feel like people don't listen.

Anyway, now, today, after all of that, I've been told, "No, actually we need to have you go through a specific place and we'll just give you some choices from there..." ARGGGGGHHH!!! Really? You couldn't tell me that a week ago... um, when I asked you? Do you have any idea the time I have spent looking for flooring? The things I could've been doing instead? Yeah, it's all water under the bridge, really. I know. I know. Blah.

Poor me, we're building a house and I wasted time looking for flooring when I didn't need to. It's just so hard. I feel so lost and Zeke is so busy, I feel like I'm basically doing it all on my own. I just want to be done with all the phone calls and emails.

I will say though, I found a really good deal within our budget and I've learned a lot about flooring and about service and people. "All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for they good..."

And then there's the email shortly thereafter stating our leftover budget for upgrades and what we've used so far... um, yeah. The communication thing isn't going so well. I'll spare you the gory details, but we were told we had a certain amount left when in reality that amount is the total amount before any of the upgrades have been deducted. Does that make sense? Basically, even an extra outlet costs $$$ and it just goes up from there. It's been hard to come to an agreement on wants vs. needs with everyone involved. I'll just leave it at that.

We're okay. Our loan amount will cover it, but it's just more. Not just more $$$, but more paperwork with the builders and me feeling like I have to beg them to let me upgrade this or that and apologize all the while.  I just want it to be done. I want to unpack all of these boxes and not ever utter the phrase, "Sorry, it's still packed" to anyone EVER again. I'm just so tired.

I just want to say so much more and sometimes I really think it would be great to have an anonymous blog to do all that. But I don't want to dwell on the negative. We are so blessed. I just feel so darn angry some times. Neglected and ignored and overworked and "under-demeciated" and yeah, "woe is me". Did I tell you how ornery teenagers can be sometimes? (Mom, forgive me please, I was THE worst teenager ever!)

Do you ever feel alone? Just SO alone. In a crowd of people. In the middle of your noisy house with all of your family and cats. I still feel so alone sometimes. I'm just so convenient and reliable. I'm not interesting or exciting.

I have this dream of living on a farm somewhere and Zeke and I could be school teachers or owners of a bookstore or bakery or something like that and we could raise chickens and have four-wheelers and well, live right up the street from my Mom. We're just SO busy, but it's a different kind of busy. You farmers correct me if I'm wrong, I could be completely delusional as far as that goes. We're just running everywhere all the time and Zeke is rarely home. It's interesting to see the older kids "need" me less and less. They "want" me less. Oh, I need to stop. I just feel sad today. I think I'm just tired.

I think it's Satan working on me. I'm teaching a YW (Young Women) lesson on Sunday and well, whenever I'm preparing for something spiritual like that, I really get tested and tried as far as my faith and patience and strength to do what I've been asked to do. I'm serving in the Stake YW and I seem to be teaching or speaking at least once a month or more, so I'm feeling much more unsettled and tested than I did in the past. Again, "All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good... right?"

Did I tell you my OB-GYN was asking about our house and I think she lives down the street from me?? Yuck. There's just some things I don't want people to know about me. Those things. Like, when she sees me now will she picture me naked (and laugh!)??? Oh, gosh. Okay, I'm crying again. Man, that really threw me off today.

My friend and I were watching "Groundhog Day" on Saturday (cool, huh?) and we were just talking about what that would really be like, to live the same day over and over again. She said all you can really take with you is your relationships and your knowledge. I just keep thinking about that. We were getting too deep and I think it was annoying our husbands (Zeke, at least). After all, it is Bill Murray!

I just wish there was more time to invest in things that truly matter. I wish I could change things. I wish things could be more simple. I wish I didn't have to go to the OB-GYN once a year, but I do and it's okay. It could be worse...

We are so blessed in SO many way. I'm amazed. I don't feel worthy of our blessings. We have been so healthy for months now -- that is an absolute miracle.

Today is a day when ice cream or flowers or a good book just won't cut it.  I want my Mom. And you know, when I say that, I immediately feel guilty. I think of my nieces and nephew and their Mom (my sister) who's up in heaven. I'm sorry guys, forgive me. My mom is still here, but oh how I wish I could visit her today. I always wonder how you feel on days like this? I hope I can be there for you if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.

Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again. When Zeke comes home from work, all the kids want him and need him. Hugs and help with homework and all that, I think I get jealous sometimes... by the time he gets to me, well, he doesn't. I'm usually in bed before he and Gabe go to bed. They need their Daddy. I need a date!

Wow, I'm a mess. A pathetic baby of a mess today. It's just been lots of things building and then coming to a head all at once. I'm just leaving this up here. I need to put it into words and get it out.

Thanks for the bit of sunshine today: Jessica, Lora, and Shauntae. Your phone calls and texts made me happy. :) Thank goodness for friends.

"uphill and smiling" meets "mother of the wild boys"... and NOIRA

Doctrine and Covenants 122:9 "Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."

First of all, my checkup went really well. I am SO relieved to have it over with! I won't find out the test results until Friday. Thank you all SO much for your prayers and concern. It really brightened my day to hear all of your words of love and encouragement :) I've decided it's good for people to know so they can pray for me! I know there is great power in prayer and I'm so thankful for everyone that has prayed in my behalf.

Mercifully, my checkup went really fast. (waiting and all) Afterward, I ran over to Wal-Mart for a minute to get myself a prize for being such a good patient. (Yes, I was!) I felt so happy just to be done. I really felt the Spirit comforting me and telling me that everything will be okay. I also felt like my sister, Brenda, was there holding my hand and helping me be brave.

As I was coming into the store and getting a cart, I got a little teary-eyed just thinking of my sister and enjoying the peace of the Spirit. I looked up and saw my friend, Shauntae! I love this woman! We had such a good visit. Thanks, Shauntae, for letting me talk your ear off. You are a great friend. I think I hugged her at least 4 times! It was so fun to see someone I haven't seen for awhile and cheer me up after that nasty checkup. I'm so glad it was her.

I spoiled myself with an almond truffle (no picture, but just think CHOCOLATE), I'm a bad girl!

A new clock for the bathroom (our other one stopped working for good):
A 2011 calendar (I always get a funny cat one. Sorry, Dedra):

And a $20 wreath I've been wanting to buy since before Thanksgiving.
It was on clearance for $5! Yeah, by now, I was positively euphoric:

So I picked up Beck from Jessica's and talked her ear off as well. Thanks for listening to me vent, Jessica. I think you are "da bomb" and I love ya! I got her a truffle too. :)

As soon as I got home, I noticed a small black kitten on our deck. Today was just getting better and better! No, seriously, Zeke and I have talked and we decided two cats are enough. But this kitten was ca-yute! I wasn't going to make a big deal about it and I didn't want the kids to see it, but it looked so hungry. Before the kids got home from school, I just took a small bowl of food to the side of the house for it. That was all! I guess it's all my fault, but on Friday night it kept coming to the door and the kids were going crazy over it.
By Saturday morning, we talked/begged Zeke into letting us feed it on the deck. A few hours later, SHE was in the house! The kids were in heaven (I'm included in "the kids" you know). The funny thing was Caspian and Pippin hissed at her a few times and then they were like, "Okay, whatever!" (It's meant to be, right?) And we were all in the kitchen playing together. We spent most of the morning trying to come up with a name for her:
I wanted to keep tradition and go with the name of a character from a book. Luna (Harry Potter) or Piper (The Lost Hero) or Eilonwy (Chronicles of Prydain)... but the kids weren't going for it. They wanted to name her "Blackberry". So we decided to vote on it. Gabe is taking a French class at school and he told us that "noir" means black in French. So we came up with "Noira" and that was our final pick. This kitty is BLACK!
Here's the kicker, I was trying to be a good Samaritan and I called Animal Control to see if anyone had reported a missing cat. You know, if she belonged to someone, it wouldn't be right for us to keep her. Well, I got a surprise! They told me it is against city ordinance to "harbor a stray". I had no idea that would happen. They gave us until 4pm to find the owners or they would have to confiscate her. I was crushed! We finally talked/begged Zeke into keeping the cat and now we couldn't... isn't it ironic? (don't ya think)

We said a prayer that we could find Noira's owners and we called several people in our neighborhood and went to several houses. But no one claimed her. The officer came to get her and everyone was really SAD. He said we need to give the owners a chance to claim her and if no one does after 4 days we can adopt her. I think that's the right thing to do. Well, no one has claimed her yet, but it now costs $85 to adopt a cat from the Humane Society! We are so torn.

I had a dream last night that we went to the Humane Society and they told us we could have her for free because we were so honest and cooperative with Animal Control. It was a good dream until I looked down at Noira and she was just a plastic toy cat... hmm?

When a negative is SO positive

Okay people, my blog is my venting place... it's your choice to read it - or not.

Today I am stressing out big time! I have been stressing every time I look at the calendar and see January 7th looming closer. Much to the chagrin of my husband, I played tetris for over an hour last night trying to get my mind off of today.

Today is my bi-annual visit to my OB-GYN for the dreaded check up. I know most people only go once a year, but I have been going every 6 months for the last 4 years. And in 2006, I went every 3 months. Sounds fun, huh? Nope not one bit.

I really need to go shower or I'm going to be late...

This is my sister, Brenda (during chemotherapy):

She battled stage 4 cervical cancer for 4 years. It metastasized and she passed away in February 2005. She was 46 years old. She was a great sister. She took me to a Def Leppard concert when I was 14. She helped my Mom calm down when I told her I was engaged to Zeke. She was a fighter. She left behind 6 children. Her youngest was only 5 years old when she died. I think of her everyday, but especially on the days I have to go for a check up. She had THE best laugh ever.

In October 2005, I went in for my regular check up and found out I also had the beginnings of cervical cancer "stage 1 dysplasia" (precancerous cells on the cervix). So for the next year and a half, I had to get checked every 3 months and have cryosurgery (think liquid nitrogen). My tests kept coming back positive for cancer cells. I cannot express how scary that is! Especially after seeing what my sweet sister went through.

By 2007, things were looking a bit better for me. I was able to graduate to 6 month check-ups. So here I am. I try to joke with myself and say I'm going in today and see if I can get an extension on my lease -- on life.

I read a book awhile ago about a family with a history of ovarian cancer. It's called "What We Have". It's a really great story, just be aware it has a few "F-bombs" in it. The author talks about living from fear to fear. Waiting and wondering. Hoping for more time. Going to every check up and wondering if today would be the day they tell you the cancer has spread. Or it's terminal and there's nothing more they can do for you. I feel like that author somehow climbed inside my brain and wrote down my personal feelings. That is EXACTLY what it's like.

But I have been blessed! So far, my last 3 check ups have come back NEGATIVE. I'm really hoping for a NEGATIVE today. It would be SO positive. I feel very selfish when I say that I'm not ready to go anywhere yet! I feel even more guilty when I'm stressed out with my children and I just want a break... and then I think of my sister and her children. I should just be grateful everyday.

Now, I don't want sympathy, I'm really okay. It just feels good to write it down. It might be why I'm so serious about things sometimes. I really want to do what is right. I never know how much time I have to prepare. If you ever see me crying during sacrament meeting (certain hymns and things really hit me hard) I am thinking about Brenda and how lucky I am. I find myself praying/bargaining with Heavenly Father, "Please just 6 more months, please let it be negative; if it is, I promise I will do better, I promise I will be better."

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." —Ether 12:6

P.S. Thanks to my dear friend, Jessica, for watching Beck. love ya

"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good..."

Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-9 "And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?...therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever."

Well, I'm still here, barely. Now, I'm not saying my life is that hard... times have been much harder for sure... but what a weekend!

So Zeke got home Wednesday afternoon...

Gabe watched the kids for us while we went to Zeke's work party... first party with the new company... it will take some time to adjust. I didn't know anyone and all the employees talked about work the whole time. They served us a yummy dinner, but it tasted way too salty to me. I didn't even like the chocolate raspberry cheesecake! Yeah, I think I was starting to get sick that night... I just felt off.

Here's a rundown of our Christmas via Facebook (bear with me... my head feels like it weighs 30 pounds at least):

Dec. 23rd: well, thanks "SC", for a Merry Christmas :) and here we are... Kaia AND Zoe are both sick now... C'est la vie...

Dec. 24th: Dear friends and neighbors... please know that we love you and thank you for all the goodies and gifts... this year we will give you a gift of NOT giving you our germs... this morning we are ALL sick (except for Zeke). You don't want this bug, I promise.

Dec. 24th: looks like the Tooth Fairy will have to hitch a ride with Santa tonight...

Dec. 25th: Merry Christmas everyone! I am so thankful for my family and for our Savior Jesus Christ and for Ibuprofen.:)

Dec. 25th: okay, so we all have colds... but Zoe is coughing up blood... any ideas what could be going on? I'm thinking bronchitis? do I need to take her right in? or can it wait until Monday?

Dec. 25th: thanks everyone, Zeke and Zoe are home. Dr. said her lungs are clear for now. He said her throat is very raw and inflamed; could be causing the bleeding. He gave her a steroid to help with the inflammation. We have to take her back to the Dr. on Monday to make sure there's no infection/pneumonia. Dr. said Zoe probably just has a nasty virus. Well, it could be worse, right? :)

Dec. 26th: I think I'm done... last night, Beck got THE worst nose bleed I've ever seen... he was even bleeding out of his tear ducts... that was before he threw up all the blood the ran down his throat...okay, so if you want to start the bidding for the movie rights.... we just need a title... I'm sure it will be a big money maker....

Yesterday, Zeke's Mom stopped by to say HI.
Oh, Patty, thank you for coming!! and thank you for the great presents!

It finally felt like Christmas! I sure hope she doesn't get sick. Gabe is the only one with a fever still. We're getting better, but it's going to take awhile. And by some amazing miracle, Zeke hasn't got sick...yet. I think Zoe was the sickest so far. Poor girl. I'll put up more pictures later...

Beck and Kaia are lovin' the Zhu Zhu pets...

Beck got a Hot Wheels garage...

I am so thankful for prayer. I know I've prayed a lot before, but this weekend is definitely in the top 10. Beck's nosebleed just about did me in. It was one of THE scariest things I've ever been through. Poor Beck! I'm thankful for Priesthood blessings and just for time. It's nice to see Kaia getting better; it gives me hope for the rest of us. I'm thankful that Zeke was here to help me, sorry honey! One of these days we won't be sick during the holidays...

Zeke and I really enjoyed watching Pippin watch TV with us last night... yeah, it doesn't take much to entertain us.

Un-crafty, Un"scoped", Undaunt-ed?

I am feeling a bit better today as far as my anxiety and that "sense of impending doom" feeling I was having on Tuesday. I talked to my Mom and my niece, Angee, on the phone and I took a bath. But I still felt anxious all day Tuesday. I went to a Relief Society Craft Night and I just could NOT focus. Just ask my dear neighbor, Lora, we stood around the food table and snacked and talked. ("Don't ask me... I'm just here for the food." hee hee) And she says, "Well, I didn't sign up to make anything, did you?" And I did! Lots of stuff... more than I could possibly complete in 2 hours even if I was focused! I was hoping to make some inexpensive Christmas presents for friends and neighbors (Shhh, it's supposed to be a surprise!) Why in the world do I do stuff like that? Anyway, Lora helped me cut out my felt nativity puppet thingies, is she cool or what!? uh huh! We had fun, but I sure didn't get much accomplished.

Ok, so remember back before Halloween and I was supposed to go to the urologist? Well, I did and it was a surprisingly good visit. (If you want details, I put some in a comment on this post.) Very helpful and informative AND I was able to remain fully clothed. Well...

Yesterday I was supposed to go see the urologist again and have a "bladder scope". Um, I do NOT think those two words should be in the same sentence together. Especially when it's referring to MY bladder! However, I woke up yesterday feeling yucky... like I was getting a cold or something. Who knows? Maybe I was being a chicken baby again... I really didn't feel good, but I was also REALLY freaked out about having this procedure done. (No, they do NOT numb you and YES, I would be awake!) But I rescheduled for the first week in December. Basically the urologist, Dr. Pitcher (like a pitcher of water? hee hee), says I have Interstitial Cystitis. It's very embarrassing, but there it is! It's kind of like an ulcer in your bladder, sort of. He needs to see if the lining of my bladder has any actual holes in it and how bad the lining is breaking down among other things.

Why on Earth would anyone want to be a urologist? Have you ever asked a child, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And they get all excited and say, "Ooh, I want to be a urologist and look inside people's bladders!" Nope, I've never met a child like that. Oh, I would laugh if one of my children becomes a urologist! I wonder when Dr. Pitcher decided to be a urologist. He's actually really nice. He uses the word 'barbaric" a lot when referring to the pain and discomfort I've been going through. I like people that use dramatic words like that. I feel like he's sympathizing with me. We'll see how much I like him after my "bladder scope".

The best quote from Sister Hinckley:
"If you can laugh at it, you can live with it."

So anyway.... I'm changing the subject!
Here's a family photo from our Halloween Party at church
(Thanks, Stoddard family):

You know that Primary song, "A Happy Family"
(sing along if you want!)

I love "Luna Lovegood" she loves me.
We love "Princess Leia", yes siree; HE loves us and so you see,
We are a crazy family!

I love "Zoe the Blue Fairy" she loves me.
We love Beck, even though he refused to wear a costume;
He loves us and so you see,
We are a crazy family!

I love "Kaia the Rose Princess" she loves me.
We love the "Orange Mummy",
even though he REALLY didn't want his picture taken,
He loves us and so you see,

We are a crazy family!

P.S. I will triumph!
P.P.S. Happy 15th Birthday to my beautiful great-niece, Jayden!

Yay for cameras, chairs, and radish earrings. Boo for me!

I'm so happy, I got a new camera today, just an inexpensive Sony Cybershot, but a new digital camera nonetheless. Woo hoo! I found out it would be way more than the price of my previous camera to have it fixed, so here we go again. FYI: Cameras do NOT bounce! That cute little strap isn't just for looks, it's like a Wii strap -- it's there for a reason! Put it on your wrist so when your hands let go of the camera while you're holding everything else, it doesn't hit the floor. I dropped our first camera last June. Beck dropped our second camera last week. Our new camera is bright orange! So it must be awesome, right? I wish I could take a picture of it. Let's hope it stays "un-dropped" for awhile.

(drum roll....)
The first picture with the new camera, ironically it's us:
The Camera Destroyers... I'm pretty sure this new camera feels threatened already. At our house, it should.

Our new chairs ($30 each... oh yeah!) We really like red and black (obviously). They're kind of funky; they remind me of licorice or checkers. We decided to put them together all mixed up just because we can. Ha! I love that Zeke and I like the same stuff. We assembled them while watching "You've Got Mail". I have to say that is one of my all-time favorite movies. "I can't help myself!" For years I've been wanting to find that dessert picture Meg Ryan has on the wall in her kitchen. It would look great with my new chairs. (If that isn't a hint for a Christmas present, then I don't know what is.)

I haven't been feeling well... unfortunately, this is a recurring theme with me. I went to the doctor this morning. I am full of infection: sinus, ears, urinary tract... just the usual stuff for me. But I'm sick of being sick. The doctor also said I'm dehydrated... that's hard to believe because I drink water like crazy, but it would partly explain why I've been so tired. And oh yeah, I'm anemic (no, really?!). I think I've always been anemic. I can honestly say for at least 20 hours of every day, I'm thinking of a big juicy steak. Aren't you? Maybe I'm a vampire...

I went to the store and got the kids some gummy vitamins to help me feel like I'm fighting back the impending cold/flu season. "Wall-e" for the boys and "Tinkerbell" for the girls ;) I took some Tinkerbell ones for myself. Maybe my tummy can handle the kiddie vitamins. Sheesh!

Anyway, my doctor wants me to see a urologist tomorrow for the recurring UTI's. (I'm joining a club, by the way, with my friend, Stephanie) I think I would rather have E-coli than a UTI (I am NOT kidding!) I'm such a chicken baby. I don't want to go to the urologist :( that does NOT sound like fun in any sense of the word. What have I done to deserve this cruel and unusual punishment? Okay, don't answer that. I won't! I wish magic was real. I could wave my wand and say "Body Reparo" and Ta-da!

Maybe I should wear my Halloween costume to the appointment? At least the doctor would be more interested in my radish earrings...

Can you guess what my costume is going to be?
If you can, you must be cool (like me).

I have a hard time not feeling discouraged by always being sick. I was going really good for almost a year or so... but I have to remember there is "opposition in all things". Maybe Heavenly Father was just keeping me healthy until we had money to pay for all my doctor visits and medicine. Go figure. Okay, I'm going to give myself a big dose of ice cream tonight. Doctor's orders!

E. coli 101: Everything you never wanted to know but should.

My son's 5th grade teacher affectionately labeled us the "E. coli clan" yesterday on Facebook and I thought it was funny. If you can laugh at it you can live with it, right? Thanks, Mr. Barker!

Well, I thought I'd fill you in on recent events. Here's a flashback in case you're just tuning in...

Kaia (my 6 year old) got sick on Oct. 1st, I took her to the Dr. and her tests came back positive for E. coli. Yeah, E. coli! These results will be sent to the state Health Department for further investigation. At this point, we're pretty sure it came from contaminated ground beef... I'm very freaked out about eating it again!

Then, on Oct. 7th, my 9 year old daughter, Zoe, got sick as well. And to even things up, on the 9th, my sons and I also got sick. My husband was a little sick on Saturday, but we thought he was going to be okay. It was good too, because he and the girls took care of us on Saturday and Sunday. We also had a Harry Potter movie marathon... fun, but we had to pause the movie every time one of us had to use the bathroom (um, like every 20 minutes or so). So we didn't get very far on the movie marathon... but you know the books are better than the movies anyway. :)

Tuesday night (the 12th) Zeke started getting sick too... oh boy, I keep thinking of the scripture in D&C where the Lord tells Joseph Smith "...thou art not yet as Job..." Now, I am not trying to compare our lives to Joseph Smith's (or Job's) -- no way. We have it so good! But it's been a rough 6 months or so, especially for Zeke. He's actually doing the best out of everyone, thank goodness.

Everyone has been in for blood tests and now all 6 of us will have to go to our doctor every Monday for the next 4 weeks or so to have our blood pressure checked and to leave a urine sample to make sure our kidneys are working properly. What a fun activity for family night! ha ha ha

Seriously, though, we are very lucky so far. I've been told we have a mild case. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like to have a serious case. Most people are hospitalized.

Did you know after you have ingested E. coli it can take 1 to 14 days for your body to show any symptoms? I didn't.
Did you know that E-coli can cause kidney failure? I didn't.
Did you know that even if you cook ground beef until it's "no longer pink" you could still be at risk for getting E-coli? I didn't.
Did you know that some people have suffered strokes, blindness, paralysis, and even death from E. coli? I didn't.
Did you know that E. coli has been classified as a potential bio-terrorist weapon? I didn't.

I just thought I'd use this bizarre and unfortunate "opportunity" to inform everyone. Please read up and take precautions. I thought I was being careful, I guess you just never know.

By the way, my friends and neighbors have been SO awesome helping us with groceries and dinners and such. Thank you Lorie, Jenny, Lisa, Denise and Kolton, Jennifer and Nathan, Diana, Nicki, and Jessica. You know you're sick when you ask your neighbor to please go buy some more toilet paper for you. Sheesh!

Thanks for your concern and prayers. I am so thankful for the power of the Priesthood. It is such a blessing to see my children getting better :)

"Better out than in...."

Oh boy, this will be a quick post.... I'm afraid a storm is coming. Not a good storm either. We'll survive it, but in the middle of it I never think so. A stomach flu of some kind has found my house and I am not happy about it one bit!

Ok, I'm talking about gross bodily functions and bizarre lab tests... so you can skip it if you want to. Really, just scroll down to the cute picture.

Last Friday, Kaia started with stomach cramps and diarrhea.... the weird thing was there was blood in it (I've never had that happen to me or any of my children before). By Monday, it was still happening, although no one else seemed to be sick. I took her to the Doctor Tuesday morning and they were more concerned that I wanted them to be (it scared me!) They thought she may have some kind of food poisoning like salmonella or e-coli. They assured me whatever it was, it was not contagious, it was caused by something she had eaten. They said if none of the rest of us were sick, she must have eaten something we didn't (school lunch maybe?)

They took a urine sample, which also came back with blood in it and high white blood cell count. From this, they determined she has a bladder infection (poor girl).

Later that day, I had to take Kaia to the hospital to have blood work done. This was her first time and she did pretty good. The blood tests came back "fine".

They sent me home with a whole bag full of items to help me collect a stool sample. YIKES!! Yeah, that wasn't the greatest experience of my life. But hey, I'm not the one who is sick. Poor Kaia! It was very bizarre and embarrassing carrying a little "bio-hazard" bag with vials full of poo to the laboratory at the hospital. Even more bizarre was the lab technician's indifference to it. Two vials full of strange scary poo? Snore.... just go put them in the little yellow box by the door and make sure they're labeled correctly. However, I've gotta give them some credit for even being willing to do that job! The test results on that won't be back until Friday, so they told us just to wait it out and have her drink lots of fluids.

Well guess what? Today is Thursday, and Zoe woke up with the SAME symptoms! Anyway, we'll see what happens... poor girls.

My sweet Zoe and Kaia during one of their many fashion shows...

Please say a prayer for us, okay?