Friday, February 4, 2011

One of these things is not like the other...


Trying to come up with a title for today's post. Things that came to mind: "One of these things is not like the other" or "Alien from another planet" or simply "My first time at Book Club"

My awesome neighbor, Lora, invited me to her Book Club (well, I hinted on her blog that I would be interested in coming and she agreed to let me... wow, she's really nice and I'm a freak.) I hadn't even read the book for this month! Lora is so fun to be with and last night I found out what a dear friend she really is. Thanks, Lora, you know what I mean. Here's her blog: Thoughts... and Then some. She's very funny and random and sarcastic and awesome and yeah. Did I tell you she likes 80's hair bands? We were meant to be friends!

I won't tell you how nuts I really am. Here's just a sampling... I was so nervous to go to Book Club last night that I made myself sick. Literally. I couldn't eat before, during, or after. My stomach was not happy with me. I was stressing out fixing my hair and stuff while Zeke was getting dinner ready for the kids... and somehow it felt in a very bizarre way like I was getting ready for a date or something. Don't worry, Lora, at least I didn't wear perfume, that would be going too far... oh man, I need help. I almost changed my mind, but my wonderful husband made me go. He was helping me decide what I should wear. How cute is that? He's definitely a keeper, but I already knew that.

Did I have fun? yes! Do I fit in? NOT EVEN CLOSE. Am I okay with that? yeah, I think so.

But hey, it was a very good eye-opener at how socially inept I really am. These last 3 years or so, I have given up a lot. Our lives were so busy, there wasn't much time for a "night out with the girls" so to speak. I'm so thankful that I could serve in the YW while Zeke was in school. Probably the craziest, most insane times ever, but it "forced" me to be with people and get away from my kids. I really miss it.

To: Lora, Amanda, Emily, Tawnya, Maggie, Lacey, Katie, Deb, and Shari, "Thanks for making me laugh so hard I thought I would pee my pants and thanks for making me feel welcome." (In that order!!)

We are quite an eclectic mix of women. I'm one of the oldest, but I feel like I'm 80 compared to these women. I really liked what Lora said on her blog:

"At book club we aren't moms, we're not teachers, we're not professionals, we're not wives. We are women. We are women.

Women who come together once a month with full acceptance. Women who have been judged and have learned that no one can be judged. Women who have stories. Women who have lived different lives no matter how much "in common" some seem to have. We are women who are friends, who care about each other dearly no matter how new to the club. Women who like to laugh and have a good time. Women who need to laugh and have a good time. Women who appreciate each other for who we are."

That really struck me. I think I've forgotten how to be anything other than a wife and mother. Four children is a FULL TIME job. What do I do? Take care of my children, try to keep up on my house, watch movies and play games with Zeke when the kids are/should be in bed, sew and cook and make messes, and try to have a social life through blogging and Facebook. Now that sounds depressing in a way, and it isn't most days, but it's all I know and those little moments can make it all worth it. You know a day goes by... and a week, then a month, and then you look back and you've been a "stay at home Mom" for nearly 13 years!! YIKES!

I know my children so well. They know me (more than I want them too sometimes). I'm here to help them with homework and fix their favorite meals. I'm here to pick them up from school when they get sick or to go see their class program or costume parade on Halloween. I'm here to play trains with and give hugs to my crazy little man, Beck. I honestly don't think any day care provider or good friend could handle him. I love him. Some days, I must confess I wish I had a "job" and I wish Beck was older and he'd stop flicking yogurt on the CAT!! (Dang!! let me go clean that up!)

10 comments:

  1. I miss the old sesame street skits - I wish they would still play some. I guess that is what you tube is for, right??? :) I am curious to see what you are sewing. I have caught a massive sewing bug, so any fabric not already sewn to something will be by the end of the week. HAH

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  2. K. I'll stop stalking and actually comment now that I've met you!

    I thought you were great, but I hope we didn't make your anxiety worse! And fit in perfectly. And I'm TRULY looking forward to getting to know you better. Although I can imagine what a crazy group we are to fling yourself into! (But just remember...I'm still older than you, so that's something!)

    I think we have SO MUCH MORE in common than you would guess. A lot of your points here are things I think as well. I dragged my feet for nearly a year before creating book club because it had been so long since I had had that group of girls mentality. It was so scary that first month, I thought no one would come. TERRIFYING. But the age differences in all of us melt away after a while. Well, until Deb mentions she doesn't know who Richard Marx is... :) And the crazy starts meshing and now? I cannot imagine a month without this. It's so needed for me for a lot of reasons. But, as Lora said, it reminds me that I'm me and that's a good thing.

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  3. And, now, to show you MY crazy, I'm wishing I could take back that last comment and rephrase so I don't sound so "Oh PLEASE be my friend" desperate! Though you were probably not thinking that at all. Or, maybe you were and are now wondering what you got yourself into... :)

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  4. I too always look forward to book club, so much so that I belong to two of them. :) It is a great escape from the everydayness of life and to enjoy the company of some very different, yet likeminded people. And you definitely fit right into the group. See you next month!

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  5. I LOVE YOU!!!! Seriously so glad you came! Love your family, love your cats! Love your taste in music!... love it all!

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  6. Wow! You hit the nail on the head. I love the thought on "we are women". I love your words on Stay at Home Mom. You never realize that's how you are until you hear someone else say it. Thank You!

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  7. Ha ha Lacy you crack me up. I would love to see a picture of yogurt on the cat though he he. I know I've thought the same thing that it would be nice to have a job. Then I think of others taking care of my kids and seeing them learn what I have and it makes me sad that I would miss it. I'm glad you now can have a night out with the "Women". It's needed to rejuvenate. Let me just say that I was invited to a Chic and Chocolate party tonight and I'M SO PUMPED. The words Sandra and Chocolate should always be in the same sentence together he he.

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  8. THANK YOU so much for coming! I was the newbie last month and it's weird at first. And then oh so delightful. (I, too, almost peed my pants- had to RUN like mad when I got home.) I don't get out much (because I hardly count a trip to run errands out and even THAT doesn't happen as often as it should) and it's so nice to just be with a group of women and not in a church sense. (I don't do much socializing outside of church- sadly- I keep to myself a lot.)I hope you'll come next month. I'll look forward to it all month.

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  9. Lacy!! I laughed SOO hard about that last line with Beck. ha ha ha. Love it! And you are CRAZY. You are so down on yourself! You seriously are one of the most beautiful, funny, crazy (in a good way) loving person ever. I am SO glad Zeke pushed you out the door. It's been a long time for you to be out but 1. you were literally across the cul-de-sac and 2 you needed it :) he he. Speaking of Girls night out. Let's get a sit and chat going and make crafts! For anyone that wants to! You are such a good conversation person. I literally have to THINK of things to say and the conversations don't flow but you, you are so talented and you know what? it makes people feel good!!

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  10. Amen- this is totally how I felt. Like, what should I wear? What should I say? What if I laugh too much? What if no one likes me? Ok, I sound 15, but really! Isn't it funny how we all have so many of the same worries... Yet it all comes together! I had such a wonderful time- it was SO the "therapy" I needed. I feel like being a working mom (and being jealous of stay at home moms), I have different, but similar issues... It's hard to take time away for me because I already have such a guilty complex that I'm gone all day. It feels so indulgent. But I also know that taking time for me gives me the stress relief to be a better mom and wife. Anyway, I'm totally rambling...I'm good at that! It was so great to meet you and get to know you all. The funny thing is, I had no idea you were new until about half way through dinner....was too nervous being the new one myself!

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