Thursday, August 6, 2015

Are we there yet????

The other day we went to visit some of our family.  They live less than one hour from us. We had a really great visit. However, my children turn into psychotic monsters when they're all trapped in a car together. I just wanted to share with you some of the dialogue from our ride home for posterity's sake; I mean, we actually survived this! I didn't use my children's real names in order to protect MYSELF from their wrath. (They are most definitely not innocent!) However, I'm pretty sure you might know who's who...

Kid 1: "Just get us home, I want to go home now!"

Kid 2: "Can we turn the radio off? I have a headache."

Kid 3: "Be quiet! I have a headache too!"

Kid 1: "BE QUIET!"

Kid 4: Blah blah, random singing REALLY LOUD singing...

Kids 1, 2, 3: "SHUT UP!!!"

Mom: "Please don't say "shut up" guys. Kid 4, please use an inside voice. " (Turns radio speakers to the front) "Sorry, Kid 2, is that ok?"

Kid 2: "Yeah, it's fine, it's just Kids 1, 3, and 4 mostly. I just want to go home. I'm tired."

Kid 3: "Kid 4 stop grabbing my pillow, Kid 4, MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP, Kid 3!!!!!!!!!"

Kid 4: Blah, blah, chatter chatter, random singing REALLY LOUD!!

Kids 1, 2, 3: "SHUT UP, Kid 4!!!!!"

Dad: "That is enough, Kid 4!! Be quiet all of you!!!" (Turns radio up louder.)

Kid 3: "MOM!!!!!! Kid 4 keeps hitting me!!!!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP!!!! Oh my gosh, just shut up! Can't we go any faster? I hate driving in the car with you guys!"

Kid 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!! Kid 3 took my pillow!"

Dad: "Why did you bring a pillow? Did you know they brought pillows?"

Mom: "Yeah... they said they were tired. I gave in. Kid 4, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"

Kids 3, 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He/She keeps touching me!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP! This is ridiculous!" (Random sounds of a scuffle with Kid 4. Elbows flying. Grunting.)

Kids 2 and 3: "Shut up, Kid 1, we have a headache!!!!!"

Kid 4: blah blah blah, random chatter, poking Kid 1 with paper Burger King crown, laughing REALLY LOUD, singing! Poke, poke, poke....

Kid 1: "Kid 4, KNOCK IT OFF!!! If you don't stop it, I'm going to take your crown!"

Mom: "Kid 1, That's enough. Leave Kid 4 alone. Kid 4, That's enough, Leave Kid 1 alone." (Turns radio up louder. Sighs at Dad. Dad rolls eyes.)

Kid 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Loud screaming and crying and random paper ripping sounds.) "Kid 1 took my crown!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He ripped it up!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Extremely loud screaming and crying. Fists flying from Kids 1, 3, 4. Mom turns around to check for blood. No blood. Turns up radio.)

Kids 2, 3: "Thanks a lot, Kid 1! Kid 4, just BE QUIET PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dad: "Now you've done it, Kid 1!"

Kid 1: "Make Kid 4 SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Kid 4, not ME!"

Dad: "You made KID 4 cry.... thanks a lot, KID 1, now we all have to hear it!!" (Kid 1 becomes strangely silent.)

Kid 2: "I have a headache. I feel car sick."

Kid 3: "Me too. MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kid 4 is on my side of the seat!"

(Kid 4 still wailing LOUDLY.)

Mom: "No more talking from anyone! Kid 4 and Kid 1 you have extra chores when we get home."

Kid 2: "How much longer?"

Kid 3: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dad: "I have a headache."

Mom: "Me too."

It's a wonder why we don't travel more, isn't it?


  1. OH I'm dying!!! "No blood. Turns up radio" I'm so very glad you saved this! And I'm so glad everyone survived. Oh my. Reminds me of some of our family trips as a kid.


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