Are we there yet????

The other day we went to visit some of our family.  They live less than one hour from us. We had a really great visit. However, my children turn into psychotic monsters when they're all trapped in a car together. I just wanted to share with you some of the dialogue from our ride home for posterity's sake; I mean, we actually survived this! I didn't use my children's real names in order to protect MYSELF from their wrath. (They are most definitely not innocent!) However, I'm pretty sure you might know who's who...

Kid 1: "Just get us home, I want to go home now!"

Kid 2: "Can we turn the radio off? I have a headache."

Kid 3: "Be quiet! I have a headache too!"

Kid 1: "BE QUIET!"

Kid 4: Blah blah, random singing REALLY LOUD singing...

Kids 1, 2, 3: "SHUT UP!!!"

Mom: "Please don't say "shut up" guys. Kid 4, please use an inside voice. " (Turns radio speakers to the front) "Sorry, Kid 2, is that ok?"

Kid 2: "Yeah, it's fine, it's just Kids 1, 3, and 4 mostly. I just want to go home. I'm tired."

Kid 3: "Kid 4 stop grabbing my pillow, Kid 4, MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP, Kid 3!!!!!!!!!"

Kid 4: Blah, blah, chatter chatter, random singing REALLY LOUD!!

Kids 1, 2, 3: "SHUT UP, Kid 4!!!!!"

Dad: "That is enough, Kid 4!! Be quiet all of you!!!" (Turns radio up louder.)

Kid 3: "MOM!!!!!! Kid 4 keeps hitting me!!!!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP!!!! Oh my gosh, just shut up! Can't we go any faster? I hate driving in the car with you guys!"

Kid 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!! Kid 3 took my pillow!"

Dad: "Why did you bring a pillow? Did you know they brought pillows?"

Mom: "Yeah... they said they were tired. I gave in. Kid 4, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"

Kids 3, 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He/She keeps touching me!"

Kid 1: "SHUT UP! This is ridiculous!" (Random sounds of a scuffle with Kid 4. Elbows flying. Grunting.)

Kids 2 and 3: "Shut up, Kid 1, we have a headache!!!!!"

Kid 4: blah blah blah, random chatter, poking Kid 1 with paper Burger King crown, laughing REALLY LOUD, singing! Poke, poke, poke....

Kid 1: "Kid 4, KNOCK IT OFF!!! If you don't stop it, I'm going to take your crown!"

Mom: "Kid 1, That's enough. Leave Kid 4 alone. Kid 4, That's enough, Leave Kid 1 alone." (Turns radio up louder. Sighs at Dad. Dad rolls eyes.)

Kid 4: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Loud screaming and crying and random paper ripping sounds.) "Kid 1 took my crown!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He ripped it up!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Extremely loud screaming and crying. Fists flying from Kids 1, 3, 4. Mom turns around to check for blood. No blood. Turns up radio.)

Kids 2, 3: "Thanks a lot, Kid 1! Kid 4, just BE QUIET PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dad: "Now you've done it, Kid 1!"

Kid 1: "Make Kid 4 SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Kid 4, not ME!"

Dad: "You made KID 4 cry.... thanks a lot, KID 1, now we all have to hear it!!" (Kid 1 becomes strangely silent.)

Kid 2: "I have a headache. I feel car sick."

Kid 3: "Me too. MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kid 4 is on my side of the seat!"

(Kid 4 still wailing LOUDLY.)

Mom: "No more talking from anyone! Kid 4 and Kid 1 you have extra chores when we get home."

Kid 2: "How much longer?"

Kid 3: "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dad: "I have a headache."

Mom: "Me too."

It's a wonder why we don't travel more, isn't it?