M.O.M. (Mom Operating Manual)

The kids and I got this book from the library the other day...

I think I enjoyed it more than they did, but seriously, it is so funny!

I think younger kids might not "get" it -- in fact, a lot of the reviews on Goodreads said so, but my older 3 especially LOVED it. It's nothing to be taken seriously -- that's not the point. We had a lot of fun reading it together and laughing at so many things we found similar to what goes on at our house. It's definitely one of our new favorites!

I think it would make a fun gift for a Mom who is right in the middle of the chaos we call Parenthood. We all need a good laugh, right? When writing this post, though, I realized the reason I find this book so funny may be because I am PAST a lot of the little people chaos. I survived, and now it's funny... mostly.

I especially enjoyed the "Troubleshooting" section highlighting certain auditory signals that may indicate minor malfunctions with your Mom: 

Heavy Sighing -- possible cause: Are you abusing your access to the duct tape? Quick fix: STOP it!

Groaning -- possible cause: Did you forget to flush the toilet again? Quick fix: Flush the toilet?

Snapping -- likely cause: You won't put your shoes on. Quick fix: Put your shoes on!

Eerie Silence -- likely cause: OVERLOAD. Quick fix: Call grandma!

Simple Christmas Gifts: PART THREE

My friend, Becca, sent me an email with the rest of the list -- Thank you!!! :) Here it is: (*again, I did NOT make these up. Becca says her family calls them Corny Christmas Ideas and I would have to agree! I like some of them and I'm sure you'll like others -- it just depends on your degree of corny.:) Enjoy!

• Wake up to a delicious Christmas! (pancake mix and syrup)

• From our PAD to yours, Happy Holidays! (note pad or hot pads)

• To a NOTE worthy teacher! (note pad) (*Attention Locals! Square One Printing has really cute note pads for $.20 each!)
  

• May your holidays BUBBLE over with fun! (bubble bath or bubble gum)

• By GUM, your great neighbors! (gum)

• Don’t SNICKER, just be glad you got something! (Snickers candy bar)

• MUGS and KISSES! (mug full of Kisses)

• May your New Year be festive and FRUITful! (basket of fruit)

• We just couldn’t reSTRAIN ourselves from wishing you a Merry Christmas! (strainer or colander)

• We hope your holidays are PICTURE perfect. (frame)

• You’ve been naughty, so here’s the scoop-All you get for Christmas is Snowman poop! (bag of marshmallows) (*I think my husband and 13 year old son made this one up -- seriously?!?!)
  

• We get such a CHARGE out of Christmas, So we decided to shop acCORDingly. We don’t want to OVERLOAD your CIRCUITS, But this will light up your Christmas tree. We want to EXTEND to you our best wishes. We’ll put a good PLUG in for you. Have a holiday that’s simply ELECTRIC, and EXTEND good feelings the whole year thru. (extension cord)

• A day or two ago, we thought we’d make a treat. Something really special, a Christmas gift to eat. But out schedules would not budge; Hence, here’s this year’s edition of our homemade CHRISTMAS FUDGE! (large chocolate candy bar)

• A STAR appeared in the sky, that first Christmas night; When Jesus was born in a manger, the star shined its light. Everyone saw the star, Up in the sky above; it was bright, glowing and radiant, Sending light, joy and love. It also sent a message, To the world below; Remember Jesus, our Savior, And each day, let your light glow. You can be a star, SHINE BRIGHT! (star cookie cutter)

• "Wise Men still seek HIM."(framed)

• As you hold these candies in your hand and turn them you will see. The M becomes a W, an E, and then a 3. They tell the Christmas Story, it’s one I’m sure you know. It took place in a stable a long, long time ago. The E is for the East where the star shone oh so bright. The M is for the Manger, where the baby Jesus slept that night. The 3 is for the wise men, bearing gifts, that say they came. W is for Worship, Hallelujah, Praise His Name. So, as you eat these candies or share them with a friend. Remember the Spirit of Christmas, and never let it end. (M&M’s) (*Becca says her husband does this one for his Home Teaching families -- I like this one a lot!:)
  

• It’s Christmas time at our house and we are putting up the tree. I wish I could find one simple way to remember Christ’s gift to me. Some little sign or symbol to show friends stopping by, the little babe was born one day, but he really came to die. A symbol of His nail-pierced hands the blood He shed for you and me…what if I hung a simple nail upon my Christmas tree? A crimson bow tied ‘round the nail as His blood flowed down so free to save each person from their sin, and redeem us for all eternity. I know it was His love for us that held him to that tree and when I see this simple nail I know he died for me. (red ribbon tied to a nail)

Happy Holidays!! Thanks again, Becca. Now, enough procrastinating... I have to work on my talk for church on Sunday. This is most definitely not my forte` -- AND to make it harder, I'm speaking in the Spanish-speaking ward in our stake -- AND I'm crazy enough to try and do it IN Spanish. Zeke speaks Spanish and he has helped me translate my talk. I'm practicing reading and trying to know enough of what I'm saying so I can use voice inflections on the right words so I don't sound like a total first grade robot. Yo no se que soy!!

Simple Christmas Gifts: Part TWO

Here are some more fun ideas for Christmas gifts... if you know any more (Sandra! :) Please share:

• Wishing you joy beyond MEASURE! (measuring cups, spoons, ruler, or measuring tape)
• You have been a LIFESAVER! (Lifesavers candy or Christmas Storybook)
• We're NUTS about you! Merry Christmas! (can of nuts)
• Gift idea: Have your child make a bookmark with picture and list of favorite books or favorite things about teacher. (*This, my friends, is called brown-nosing. Would I do it? OH yeah!)
• May your days be Merry and BRIGHT! (magic markers, highlighters, or dry erase markers)
• Sending WARM Christmas wishes to my favorite teacher! (one serving sized package of hot chocolate, apple cider, or dry soup mix)
• JELLY is like love. You can't spread it around without getting some on yourself! Merry Christmas! (jar of jelly)
• Hoping you have a holiday JAM-packed with Christmas cheer! (jar of jam) (*Please DON'T confuse jam for jelly or vice versa -- your little poem would be for naught!! oh, the horror!)
• Have a holly JOLLY Christmas! (jolly ranchers)
• Have a BERRY nice holiday season! (jar of jam)
• We're ROOTing for you to have a Happy Holiday Season and a Wonderful New Year! (root beer)
• Hope a Merry HO-HO-HO fills your heart the whole year through! (Hostess Ho-Hos) (*don't know why, this one just cracks me up... and yes, I love Ho-Ho's!)
• Remember Santa CHEX his list twice to see who's been naughty or nice... so be good for goodness sake! (Chex mix)
• Hoping your Holiday TURNS out great! (pancake turner)
• We just couldn't PASTA up the chance to say Happy Holidays! (holiday shaped pasta)
• Have a PASTAtively Happy Holiday! (holiday shaped pasta)
• We wanted to SPREAD some Christmas cheer! (spatula)
• For being there when you were KNEADED, for RISING to the occasion, large or small. For never LOAFING on the job, for helping others to HEEL with care. No matter how you SLICE it, you do a terrific job loving others. Merry Christmas! (loaf of bread)
• Warm up to a wonderful holiday season TOPPED with Christmas cheer! (pizza)
• You're getting MUFFIN for Christmas! (muffin mix or pan) (*Thanks, Sandra!)
• SEASONED with love! (packet of seasoning or spices)
• Keep Christmas in your heart the whole year through. Merry Christmas! (calendar) (*little side note: this only works if the company you order your calendar from sends you a calendar for the NEXT year!!! Oi!)
• May your Christmas be SPRINKLED with laughter and love. (cinnamon sugar or candy sprinkles)
• If friends were FLOWERS, we'd pick you! (seeds, potted flowers, or silk flower on a pen or barrette clip)
• You make friendship BLOOM all year round! (flower items like those above)
• May your days be happy, your heart be LIGHT, your Christmas be merry, and your New Year BRIGHT! (candle) (*maybe not light bulbs?)
• SCENTS we are such good friends, we wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas (candle or potpourri)

Okay, so if you get one of these from me.... just act surprised, okay? I have two more pages... I know you just can't wait! :)

*I didn't read back through this one yet, so let me know if there's any typos.

Simple Christmas Gift Ideas for Neighbors, Teachers, and Friends: PART ONE

I was reading my friend Stephanie's blog, Diapers and Divinity, and she asked what are some good ideas for inexpensive and easy neighbor gifts for Christmas. I got this list from a Relief Society activity last year and I told Stephanie I would put it on my blog. Some of the ideas are kinda cheesy, but there are LOTS of ideas for any budget. Most of the items you could get at the dollar store. Each of these ideas has a cute little saying with the gift that goes with it in parentheses.

I love giving gifts at Christmas! Only 38 days left....

• Hope your Christmas SHAPES up to be just right! (cookie cutter)
• Here's a little extra DOUGH for Christmas! (cookie dough)
• ROLLING out a batch of Christmas cheer for someone we think is very dear! (sugar cookie dough, cookie cutters, or a rolling pin)
• DIP into a wonderful holiday season and a HEALTHY New Year! (veggies and dip) (*BOO!*just kidding, that's me talking)
• Hope your Christmas holiday is just SOUPer! (soup or soup mix in a jar)
• We give you this gift for a very good reason: instead of dirty DISHES, relax and enjoy the season! (Paper plates)
• May the JOY you give to others come back to you too! (Almond Joy or Joy dish detergent)
• Have a COOL yule! (Ice Cream)
• Have a BEARY sweet Christmas! (honey bear or teddy bear or even gummy bears)
• ORANGE you glad I'm your friend/student/neighbor! I'm glad you're my teacher/neighbor! Happy Holidays! (Oranges or a chocolate orange)
• Wishing you a season filled with SWEETNESS! (anything sweet)
• Have a BRIGHT and RADIANT Christmas! (light bulbs) (*Really?!?)
• We SCRAPED together what cash we could find, although our assets are mostly FROZEN -- We really like you, you're such an ICE friend, and we hope you like this gift we've chosen! (ICE SCRAPER)
• You've got the right STUFF to be a great friend! SEASONED greetings! (stuffing mix)
• Seasons READINGS! (a favorite book/holiday book)
• We DUST wanted to say: "Thanks for being great friends!" (feather duster or dust pan)
• May the joy and LOVE you give away, come back to you on Christmas Day! (heart ornament)
• Just POPPIN' by with a warm Christmas Hi! (popcorn or caramel corn)
• Hoping you have a BALL this holiday season! (popcorn balls or puffed rice balls)
• We have to adMITT, you're great! Merry Christmas! (oven mitt or mittens)
• May your Christmas be Merry and SPRITE! (Sprite)
• Tis the season to be GRATEFUL! You're a GRATE neighbor! (cheese grater)
• We WHISK you a Merry Christmas! (wire whisk)
• No one can MEASURE up to you. Happy Holidays! (measuring cups or spoons, ruler, measuring tape)
• We wish you a full MEASURE of holiday cheer. May your CUP overflow with joy and peace. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! (measuring cups)

Okay, that is page 1 of 4... I'll post more later... (I can't scan it in and convert it to a usable file because the copy I have is in a fancy scripted font with symbols and pictures)