Thursday, February 24, 2011

If you ever feel incompetent, just read this and you'll feel much better.

Okay, so I am a total LOSER. Really. Really. I am so upset with myself tonight. Have you ever felt so completely stupid that you wish you could go back in time and fix just how completely stupid you are. YES! I am using the word STUPID! I had a good cry or two tonight.

Okay, so here's the nasty details: I carpool with two other mothers and their children for elementary. My friend, Colleen, picks my girls up EVERY morning without fail. And I pick everyone up after school (my two girls, Colleen's daughter, and another girl). Well, imagine being one of those mothers and your daughter doesn't come home from school. Why? Because your good 'ol carpool buddy, Lacy, completely and totally forgets! Yes, I'm serious. I totally spaced it. Yeah, I am really that LAME. Don't ask me to do anything remotely important because I might just forget. I just realized that LAME, LOSER, and LACY all start with L. Coincidence? I think not. :(

So today, well, to plead my case here... I'm a total nutter. Maybe? But today was crazy. Okay, so it was Gabe's Birthday. 4 of us (including me) woke up sick: fevers, headache, sore throat, achy. I called Colleen to tell her not to pick up Kaia and Zoe and I said, "But I'll pick up the other girls at 2:30." Then, I put Gabe back to bed, put a movie on for Zoe and Kaia, and put myself back in bed because Beck was still sleeping and I felt horrible. Anyway, Beck woke up about 8:30 (so much for a nap) and he was NOT sick at all. Which is good -- of course I don't want my children to be sick. But when I'm sick... it's all I can do to function, let alone chase Beck.

Okay, so I spent the day trying to keep Beck from climbing all over the girls, trying to make Gabe's birthday cake, and trying to help Zoe study for a spelling bee tomorrow at school. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed and hold still. And it happens to be the end of the trimester tomorrow for Gabe and he had a few pages of Math homework he had to turn in today by 3pm or else, so all I could focus on was 3pm, go to the middle school at 3pm and turn in Gabe's homework. Poor kid. He's sick on his birthday. He slept almost all day. I wish I could have. Blah.

Anyway, to make a long story longer... I headed over to the middle school at 2:45 and didn't think twice about going to the elementary to pick up my friend's daughters... (Name this movie: I went to get a manicure and I forgot to VOTE!)

So tonight around 6, Colleen called and said, "Are you okay?" She figured I must be dying or something since I forgot to pick up the girls (I wish I had that for an excuse). And I was like, "Yeah, well, I haven't been feeling very good today and OH MY HECK! COLLEEN, I AM SO SORRY!!!!" I didn't even remember for a minute. Can I just tell you how horrible I feel? Colleen was quite nice about it. She always is. She's put up with a lot from me. We used to serve in the Young Women's Program together and we've been carpooling for at least 4 years now. I guess the girls went back inside the school and called the other Mom, Lanette. Thank goodness. Lanette, I'll call you tomorrow and apologize profusely as well. I would die if my girls were left at the school. Colleen and Lanette, I won't blame you for a minute if you come murder me in the night. Really.

Oh man, I am going to bed. I really wonder if I'm losing it. Really. I can't remember anything anymore. I can't concentrate on anything and I just feel slow... do you know what I mean? I know that sounds like an excuse, but I seriously feel like I'm... you know... a few beans short of a burrito or something? Am I just getting old? Is it lack of sleep? Is it hormones? Is my brain turning to goo? I just don't feel good. I have felt "off" for a few years and it seems to be getting worse. :(

Sorry...... I am so sorry, Madison and Makenzie. Poor girls. As soon as I got off the phone with Colleen, this song popped in to my head and it's stuck. I like the song... but honestly this video is so weird! It feels like the dreams I have right before the alarm goes off and I'm kind of awake but not really. Lurpy! ha ha, my favorite new word and now I can't remember where I heard it. Lora? remind me what we were talking about on Tuesday?

14 comments:

  1. Lacy, if this is the worst thing you ever do then you're doing GREAT! I once forgot to take treats to Nicole's school for her birthday celebration, She was in first grade. There are other stories too. All mom's have them.

    Don't be too hard on yourself.

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  2. You're sickness sounds like what my family had last weekend. I hope you didn't get it from us!!!

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  3. Lacy,

    You've got a great excuse--you were sick! I forget things on my best days, let alone a sick day. I think when the kids start getting older and busier, you get busier as a mom. It's a tough job--so much to do, so much to remember. I'm sure you felt bad, but it all turned out okay, so forgive (yourself), forget and move on :)

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  4. Oh dear. Give yourself a break. It was a mistake and we all make them. This mistake did not leave the girls in harm's way or cause any irreparable damage. It's ok, and the other moms know it was unintentional and that you are SORRY. A couple weeks ago I forgot to show up to a RS meeting that I was in CHARGE of. Boy, did I feel like a dork in the morning.

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  5. Oh Lacy, I've done so much worse. The upside of being a little flaky is that I always learn quickly who my true friends are. :)

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  6. Lacy you crack me up. All I can say is your not alone! We all have those moments so forgive yourself of the whole situation. It adds to the stress to have sick ones. Poor Gabe, bummer to be sick on your own birthday. I love the word lurpy too..he he very catchy.

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  7. The mental issue you are suffering from is called Motherhood. It's incurable, sorry to say. You will forget things, you will feel like a dummy, and you will end up apologizing a lot. But the good news is: people will love you regardless.

    Especially me.

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  8. First: "You've Got Mail"

    Second: did i ever tell you about the time I forgot to pick someone up for something 3 weeks in a row. The sadest part is that I didnt' even remember that I forgot this person until a week later!

    Third: Lurpy is a wonderful word, but alas I do not know the source. Hope you are feeling better.

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  9. My sweet friend Lacy. Oh, have I been there! And, I am really sorry that you are not feeling well. :o( Boooooo.
    Thinking of you and your family, too. I often think of Brenda. I love ya lots and will MAKE SURE we get together ... sometime... before Gabe has another birthday. LOL

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  10. Ugh. Happens to the best of us. Which SO doesn't make you feel better when it's YOU it happens to!

    I hope you're feeling better...

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  11. Days like that are killer.
    There are so many nights when I lay in bed going over everything "stupid" that I did/said that day and wishing I could go back and fix it. (One of the reasons I don't post comments often, I always feel dumb about them later.:)

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  12. Oh Lacy!! You are just too hard on yourself! You do have a good excuse. I hope you are feeling better about yourself. I should've watched Beck for you so you could've had a sleep. I'm so sorry!!! I hope you guys are getting better (even though you told me Kaia and Zoe are sick while at church...) I hope all of you have happy birthdays this week!!!! And that gift of being sick is NOT at your house...How not fun :( I'm a bit spacy right now. If I don't make sense, just call me dufus.

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  13. This is an old post, but for whatever reason I was drawn to it... Its nice to know that we aren't alone in this thing called motherhood. Its a tough job. I was being so hard on myself yesterday for forgetting about something important. The thing to remember is we are far harder on ourselves then others are on us. We tend to hang on to things longer then others do too i.e. guilt, shame, feeling stupid, lame... :)
    I think you were nice to even offer to still pick up the kids even though urs didn't go. I'm selfish like that, I wouldn't have still participated in the carpool

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