I'm also very tired. I can't/won't go to sleep when Zeke is gone. I've been making a lot of progress on my quilt though (and playing too much Tetris). I also cleaned out my fridge -- like wiped down all the shelves and stuff. I don't remember that last time I did that. Maybe it's a good thing.
Anyway, on Saturday, I had this amazing epiphany. My institute teacher called them "A-ha!" moments. It was awesome :)
Let me back up, I had a post ready to go a few weeks ago titled "February Fool." I was going to complain about how silly it is when the grocery stores start to sell primroses the first week of February. And even sillier because everyone is so desperate for any hint of Spring in their lives, they buy them all up only to have them die a week later.
I told myself last year I was NOT going to buy any primrose. And I didn't. I can't tell you how much money I have wasted buying those darn things. They're so beautiful! And I'm usually not a total plant killer. But within a week or so the leaves turn yellow, the flowers shrivel and the plant dies. EVERY TIME. So when I saw them in the grocery store this year, I laughed to myself and scoffed at all the old ladies lining up 4 or 5 of them in the front basket of their cart. Not me, I won't be fooled this time. I know better.
Well, the very next day, my sweet hubby picked up some groceries on the way home from work and he surprised me with two beautiful little primroses. How could I resist? He is so sweet and I knew I wanted some, but I didn't feel so silly since I wasn't the one who bought them, right? They look so beautiful in my kitchen window. They really make me feel happy. When I look at them I know Spring will come eventually; no matter how much snow is still on the ground. They give me hope.
I watered them right away and didn't think much about it. I normally water all my houseplants once a week and that seems to work just fine. But the very next day however, the primroses were starting to wither and yellow. NO! Not again!! :(
Well, I wasn't going to give up yet! I felt the soil and it was dry even though I'd just watered them. I put just a little more water in each one. Within an hour, the primrose perked right up. But the next morning, they were wilted again and there was ice on my window, so I thought it was just too cold for them to thrive. But again, I checked the soil... and it was dry. So I watered them a little more. And they looked great for another day.
This went on for a week or so and finally last Saturday, I was washing dishes and admiring how pretty my little primroses were...WHAT?! Wait a minute, they're usually dead by now. And then, the Spirit washed over me and literally filled my whole body and I saw myself reading my scriptures and remembering how much better I felt on the days I did. I've been trying to read them first thing in the morning EVERY day.
These little flowers were dying, because I wasn't giving them a little bit of water EVERY day. They didn't thrive when I dumped a full glass of water on them once a week. They needed daily nourishment. Just going to church on Sunday isn't enough for my testimony to thrive. I need DAILY nourishment too. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with all this. But for me and my stubborn mind, prideful heart, and young testimony, it was truly AMAZING!! And when I looked closer, I even saw new buds and leaves growing! :) They weren't just surviving, they were thriving and growing! Progressing :)
Alma 32: 37-43 "And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.
39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.
41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.
42 And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.